The Story So Far
by Darcy Daliet
Summary: Buffy has overcome tragedy and heartbreak to become a successful businesswoman. Life is good until an old flame returns to haunt her. Can she put the past behind her, or will she let it destroy her again. CHAPTER 31 now up!
1. Default Chapter

The Story So Far  
  
Author: Darcy Daliet  
  
Disclaimers: All characters belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy etc etc……I have just borrowed them to perform my twisted bidding  mwahaahaahaa!!!

Spoiliers: None its completely AU

Pairings: B/S, X/A, W/T

Rating:R   
  
Summary: Buffy has overcome tragedy and heartbreak to become a successful businesswoman.  Life is good until an old flame returns to haunt her. Can she put the past behind her, or will she let it destroy her again.  
  
 A big thanks to my fabulous Betas, Rebecca and Mercy…without you guys this would have been an impossible task!!!

This is my first fic, so please review…….pretty please.

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 Chapter One

"B! Hey B!!! Girl get with the program!" Faith unclipped her hair and shook it out laughing.

 "Come on B, we got some serious planning to do here, we are gonna  have some wicked fun". Buffy sat up with a jolt, she had been miles away immersed in her thoughts, totally distracted from her friend sat across the table. 

"Sorry Faith, I guess I am just thinking about chickens," she mumbled. The girl sat across from her looked puzzled.

 "I mean chickens, as in of the not counting variety," Buffy explained.

"Buff, the job**'s yours, it's a done deal baby." Faith said confidently as she ran her fingers through her long dark hair. Buffy was less confident though, she had tried to explain to Faith that organizing a party to celebrate before she even knew if she had the promotion was a little crazy, but then crazy was what Faith did best.**

Faith and Buffy were an unlikely partnership, they had been thrown together in high school, and despite all their differences had managed to stay firm friends ever since. Buffy was what Faith described as a 'perfect' woman. Always well turned out, never a hair out of place, and a hard worker. Faith**,** on the other hand**, was a party girl through and through. Her clothes were always a bit 'out there', her hair always slightly crazy. She toned it down for work, but Buffy couldn't help but notice that she always had a look about her as if she had been interrupted in the middle of some wild session. She oozed sex appeal from every pore of her body, even when she was just sitting watching the TV. Buffy admired her sheer love of life, and longing to experience everything, she wished she could have a piece of that in her. She wished she could let go sometimes and just not care about the consequences. However, she was good, dependable, never goes to the bad side Buffy. Sure she lied on her CV once, oh and she told the guy in the coffee shop she was a famous artist and got free lattes for a week. "Oh yeah, I am one crazy chick" she laughed to herself.**

"Helloooo earth to B!" Buffy looked up realising she had been off with the fairies again. 

"Damn Buffy, come on girl, we have to organise your big 'I am the main woman' party here!" Faith reached over and pulled the band from Buffy's hair, then ran her fingers through her hair scrunching it all up. Buffy looked at her reflection and laughed, she had the 'freshly fucked' look Faith so favoured. 

"Faith I just don't want to go all Buffy celebratey till I know its mine." Buffy begged. The brunette had been pulling pieces off the paper tablecloth and was systematically rolling them and flicking them at Buffy's head.

 "Come on its gonna be wild, I mean you're the big boss woman**." Faith smiled her oh so bad smile. **

" Hey Buff, now you're my boss does that mean I can come in late and have an extra long lunch?" Buffy smiled and leaned over towards the other girl. 

" Na it means you'll be my bitch" Both girls collapsed in hysterics, which seemed to attract the attention of the rest of the coffee shop, who looked on bemused, clearly unaware of the joke.

Buffy and Faith both worked at WP Publications. Faith started from high school, Buffy after the first year at college. She had to leave after the sudden death of her mother, as she voluntarily became the guardian of her younger sister Dawn. Dad was still around, somewhere, but he didn't really care for the whole family thing. She didn't want to see her little sis go into care, and to be honest she was seriously flunking out of college anyway, so when Wesley offered her the job she jumped at the chance. 

Wesley had been a good friend to her mother for as long as she remembered. In fact he had been present at more birthdays, Christmas' and Thanksgivings than her father ever had**,** so he felt like family to her. She**'**dhad to start from the bottom and work her way up**, but it was a good steady wage, and she had impressed and been promoted several times. Wesley ran WP publishing and she had worked her way up to his PA, although technically she ran the whole show herself. Wesley was often away in England visiting his mother who was very sick and he trained her to cover all his managerial duties. Everyone in the office reported to her first then she would deal with the issues and pass on anything of importance to Wesley via e-mail or fax. She was the boss. **

It had still come as a shock when Wesley had announced to the office last month that he was going to be leaving. His mother was getting increasingly worse and he really wanted to spend his time with her. It was expected for Buffy to take over but Wesley had still gone through the motions of interviewing candidates for the job. Several people from the office had applied, but they had nothing like Buffy's experience. There had been some external candidates but they had all be scrutinized and scowled at but the office community, so it was a sure fire thing for the blonde. 

"Hey conscientious woman!" Buffy smiled, she loved Faiths own special way of speaking.

 "We should get back to the office, don't want to miss your big promotion thing! The chickens are home, they're counted**,** and its party time!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Willow and Tara sat at opposite ends of their bed, tears running down their faces from laughing so hard.

"Right one more try!" Willow exclaimed.

Tara sat on top of the suitcase and jumped up and down while Willow tried to get the zip all the way round, finally, after what seemed an age trying it slid around the side of the case. Willow collapsed back on the bed and let her head fall into Tara's lap. The brunette ran her fingers through her hair, and both girls observed their handiwork.

"I'm thinking that neither one of us has quite grasped the travelling light concept huh!" the redhead laughed.

"Will, did you see what we packed, there's like 3 outfits each and the rest is presents!" Tara smiled.

"Yeah I know, it's been a long time though, I can't wait to see the gang again."

It had been a very long time since Willow had managed to get back to Sunnydale, 3 years in fact. The last visit was on the anniversary of Buffy's mothers' death, so at least this visit was under happier circumstances.  Willow wondered if much had changed in this time, she certainly had. She had become a strong, confident young woman, with her own distinctive style, and a striking if unusual beauty. A sharp contrast to the nervous young girl she had been at school. She remembered the first time she had met Buffy. She was sitting on a bench in the school grounds when the blonde had just approached her and started chatting. This totally bemused Willow at the time, people didn't talk to her, they talked about her, giggled behind her back and made fun, but they didn't talk to her, not like this girl was. At first Willow had thought it was someone playing a joke on her, but she quickly realised that this new girl was as lonely and scared as she was. It turned out that Willow had many of the same classes as Buffy, and she lived in the next road. Before long the two girls were inseparable. Willow helped Buffy with classes, and Buffy, well Buffy daydreamed about the future.

So much had changed though, she had watched her friends life fall apart, but finally something good was happening to her. It was worth travelling across America to share that. Tara had never been to California either so it was like a double bonus for them.

Tara and Willow met at graduate school in New York, and quickly their friendship had blossomed into something even more special. They had been together nearly 2 years now, and had recently taken the enormous step of moving in together. It made sense, Willow spent all her spare time at Tara's place anyway, and they could share the rent and bills. The extra money saved had helped towards their plane tickets.

"Tickets! Tickets!" Willow screeched, "Tara where did I put the tickets?"

"They are in your bag, still, like you have checked 50 times already." Tara quietly replied.

She thought it was sweet how scatty her lover was being today, she was so excited about the trip Tara thought she might explode at any time.

"Sunnydale here we come!" Willow shouted as she slammed the door behind them, and both girls made their way to the waiting cab, dragging a very heavy case behind them.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The lift doors slid open on the 3rd floor at WP Publication and the two girls strolled out both engrossed in their conversation. It was a warm day and the air conditioning was not working again so Wes had got Harmony to block open the main doors and open all the windows so some semblance of breeze could penetrate the stuffy office.

Harmony was busy filing her nails, she had the telephone cupped on her shoulder and was detailing the inner secrets of some poor persons private life to whoever was on the other end. She always knew everything about everyone, which was useful if Buffy needed to know some inside info quickly, but not so useful when it was her life being scrutinized. Buffy tolerated her, but it was no secret that there was little love lost between the two blondes. 

Technically Harmony was supposed to be in charge of the reception area, she was at best inept, at worst incompetent. Fortunately her duties were few and far between, her main job being just to look pretty and greet clients on their way in. Wes was soft with her, and she got away with murder, but no one could deny that when it came to meeting and greeting Harmony was fantastic. At high school she was a pretty girl, but she had grown into a beautiful woman. Her hair was long and blonde and cascaded down her back, her eyes sparkled and she had shed a few pounds. She was always dressed in this seasons fashions, a concept she tried to explain to Buffy, recommending that she let her give her a makeover once in a while, which Buffy always politely refused. She couldn't quite see herself coming to work like that, all cleavage and leg. 

Harmony glanced up as Buffy walked over. "Yes sir, as I explained we won't accepted a full unsolicited novel, if you send a summary then we will get back to you?" Harmony covered, badly. "Harm what you talking about?" Cordelia answered, but Harmony had already hung up.

"So Harmony, any messages for me?" Buffy questioned, knowing full well that the blonde had probably been on the phone since she left the office, so the possibility of her answering another call were slim to non existent.

"No messages, sorry, guess nobody loves you" Harmony replied with a smirk.

"Some cute guy showed up though." The blonde continued

Faiths ears pricked up. She had been going through the mail in her pigeonhole, but replaced the papers and wandered over to Harmony's desk and perched on the corner. 

"Come on Harm, spill, if we got ourselves a hot new author then we need the inside scoop, isn't that right B." Faith giggled with a wicked glint in her eye.

"What's this mystery guy like" Faith quizzed

 "Too cute for you pair, and anyway I saw him first, so hands off" she laughed

Buffy leaned in towards Harmony, "I am sure as your superior I get first refusal on any sexy guys that dare to walk through our door, isn't that right Faith?" Buffy whispered. Men were actually about the furthest thing from Buffy's mind and had been for a long time, but she couldn't help but tease Harmony, and she laughed to herself as she watched the younger blonde pout.

"Hey no fair", Harmony whined.

"He arrived just after you slackers disappeared off to plan your office revolution," she continued.

 "Wes collected him, they've been in his office ages." Harmony motioned towards Wesley's office.

 Buffy looked towards Wesley's office, the door was closed and the blinds drawn. This is strange Buffy worried. Wes's door was never closed, even when interviewing it was all done very informally, it was more of a friendly chat in fact. She didn't even know the blinds could be closed, she had wondered about trying it once, but thought they might have gotten stuck through lack of use so she didn't bother.

 "Wesley looked really pleased with himself, gave him a tour of the office and everything." Harmony began to apply a coat of red varnish to her newly filed nails. 

"Oh and he's not an author either." Harmony added.

Buffy's attention fell back to Harmony's story.

"How do you know that?" Buffy questioned. Harmony could feel Buffy starting to seethe so she carried on with her story. "Well, he had a big folder with him, and I was over at the photocopier and I heard him say something about this place having potential, after a little restructuring, or something like that anyway, and they were all handshaky and big grins. Oh and Wes knew him, did I mention that, he was saying something about it being great to have him back again, or something along those lines. To be honest I was staring at his body, so I may have missed a bit." 

The phone was ringing, in fact it had been ringing some time.

"Are you gonna get that Harm" Buffy snapped.

"Huh, oh yeah right, WP Publications, Harmony Sylvester speaking, how may I direct your call?"

"Ignore her B, she's just being a bitch, as usual," Faith said, "I'm sure its nothing to worry about," and with that Faith grabbed her mail and wandered over to her desk.

Buffy followed her less convinced, in her experience things people said was 'nothing to worry about' generally turned out to be a whole lot of worry.

As she sat down at her desk and arranged her papers her phone began to ring.

"Elizabeth Summers speaking," she said politely.

"Miss Summers could you join me in my office please," came the reply.

Buffy replaced the receiver and sighed, this was definitely something to worry about.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

Buffy pulled her compact out from her handbag and checked her makeup, then applied a layer of gloss over her lips. She snapped back the lid, stood up and straightened her skirt and turned towards Wesley's office. She called it Wesley's office but 90% of the time it was hers. All the artwork on the walls had come from the gallery her Mother had worked at. She had even rearranged the office so she could see out the window when she sat at the desk. Wesley hadn't minded, he was never there anyway so he encouraged Buffy to make it her own.

"Nothings wrong, nothings wrong, nothings wrong." She repeated in her head as she made her way across the office floor.

"B!" Faith beckoned her over, "If he is as hot as Harm reckons invite him to the party tomorrow, you never know your luck!" Faith wiggled her eyebrows.

"Strangely Faith, getting laid is low down my list of priorities today." Buffy snapped, and then instantly felt guilty, "Sorry, just a bit stressed out". 

"No problem, and don't worry you can blow off some steam over the weekend, were gonna party Faith style." Faith wriggled seductively in her chair. Buffy rolled her eyes and turned towards Wesley's office.

Buffy tapped lightly on the glass door and then pushed it open slowly.

She had expected a bombshell, expected the worst, from Harmony's girlie swooning she had expected some well toned Adonis that had come in to steal her job with a smile and a few well-chosen charming comments. But it was worse, oh so much worse.

"Buffy, long time no see pet."

There he sat perched on the corner of the desk, her desk! Smiling at her like nothing had ever happened. She didn't reply, just stared back with her mouth open while his deep blue eyes pierced into her. He hadn't changed a bit, although he was dressed a lot smarter than he used to. He was wearing a suit for one, a damn expensive suit Buffy noted, and the heavy boots were gone, in their place a shiny pair of Gucci loafers, but apart from that he looked just the same as he had when he walked out the door 5 years previous. His hair was slightly longer, but still bleached out white, he still had a body to die for, and the cheekbones, oh those cheekbones! "Stop that right now" she thought to herself.

"Did you miss me luv?" he purred at her, and then blew her an imaginary kiss.

That was enough for Buffy, she span round to face Wesley, who was sitting on the sofa in the corner. Wes was oblivious to the obvious tension and was smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" she rasped at him.

"Elizabeth, William here is going to take over from me for a while, he has been running a similar operation in London for the last 2 years and I really feel you will benefit from his experience…" Wes began to explain, but was interrupted by the furious blonde girl.

"Experience! Experience er hello, I am experience girl  Wes, I don't need any helpful tips and pointers from peroxide boy here! I have doing just fine by myself" Buffy raised her voice.

Wesley frowned, he hadn't expected her to react in this way, in fact he thought she would be happy for the help, she already had a heavy workload not to mention Dawn who although technically no longer a minor, was still the cause of many sleepless nights for the blonde.

"Well I met with William last time I was in England," Wesley continued, "He was a tower of strength for me at the hospital" "Yeah I bet he was" Buffy mumbled under her breath. She could just picture him being all supportive, all helpful, all Spike, all the time with his eyes on her job! Worming his way into Wesley's affections just to screw her over.

"Yeah good old Spike, always there for people when they need him" she spat aiming a hard glance in his direction.

Spike stood up annoyed, and walked over to the table where her had placed his folder. "As much as I would love to sit her and listen to you bitch I have places to be, so I'll be seeing you Summers" he snarled, "And Wes, if you can talk some sense into the silly bint then give me a call, I'll be in town a couple of days." And with that he turned on his heel and exited the office.

Buffy turned and slammed the door behind him and then turned back to her boss.

"What have I done to deserve this Wesley" she begged, "I thought you were happy with my work, happy with the way things were going around here, I can't work with him, no way, not ever." She pouted but it wasn't washing with Wesley today, and he was becoming tired of the situation.

"Buffy, you have done a great job, and one day you will take over permanently, but as much as you like to think you know everything you are far from that stage. You have done a fine job of holding the fort for me, but I need someone with vision to take us further, not just keep us going. William can do that, and he can help you become the person you need to be to run this operation alone. I have known you a long time Elizabeth and I know you like to be independent but you will work with me on this. William is joining the team, and you will make it work!"

Buffy stared back shocked, Wesley had never spoken to her like that before, she felt like he had scolded her like a child.

"Make it work Elizabeth," he repeated slowly and seriously.

Buffy nodded and made her way to the door, tears welling in her eyes. All eyes were on her as she crossed the office to her desk all the time fighting back the tears.

"I am not going to cry over you again," she thought to herself, but it was too late.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

Buffy threw her handbag onto the floor and slumped down into her favourite soft armchair.

Faith strolled in from the kitchen, 2 bottles of beer in hand. She screwed the top off one and handed it to her friend.

"I'll pass thanks Faith, me and alcohol, not very mixy," she sighed. "On the other hand though," she reached out and grabbed the bottle, taking a large swig before screwing up her face. "Yuck, beer bad!" she mumbled.

"Chill out B, after a few bottles it'll be your favourite drink, trust me I'm an expert" she laughed.

Faith had nearly fallen out of her chair when Spike had stormed out through the office, sending a pile of papers flying off her desk, as he had swept past. And as soon as Buffy had emerged she grabbed her friend and headed for the exit. She explained it all to Faith on the cab ride home.

Buffy sat and stared into space while Faith turned on the TV, it came on to a rerun of Passions, his favourite show, Buffy glared at the brunette and she hurriedly tried to find another channel, she settled on a music channel realising almost in time that it was showing a documentary on the Sex Pistols, that was enough for Buffy she got up, stalked to her bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Buffy lay on her bed staring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of her life. 

"Why does it always go wrong!" she sighed.  

She could actually pinpoint the moment when her life turned to shit. She was 16 years old, a bright student, and a popular girl at school, hell she even made the cheerleading squad.  She was the girl everyone else wanted to be, and she lived that role to the full.  It was her father's birthday and she thought she would surprise him by bringing him a cake to work.  She remembered that day like it was yesterday. She bounded into his office, cake in one hand and card in the other, singing at the top of her voice. What she saw she would never forget. Her father on top of Melissa the pert young secretary, going for it like two teenagers.  Her supposedly doting father screwing the office bike, in the middle of the day, in his office, so engrossed in his sordid deed that he didn't even notice his teenage daughter standing by the doorway.

That basically signalled the end of her parent's 20-year marriage.  Her mother Joyce had suspected for some time that he was cheating, but even she didn't expect that he actually had 4 lovers!  She took her two daughters and moved to Sunnydale leaving her cheating spouse in LA.  

It was a clean break, and definitely what Joyce needed, but it was hard on the girls, Buffy especially.  Before the move she had to take the young blonde out of school after a meeting with the principal where her behaviour was described as disruptive and violent, and suggested that maybe some therapy would be in order.

Buffy never forgave her father, he was the one man in her life that should always be there for her, the one man she could trust and he had shattered that, and she knew it had scarred her deeply.

Spike sat quietly in the cab on the way back to his hotel. "Ungrateful bint!" he thought to himself, "Still she looked hot though," he smiled. He hadn't expected a warm welcome from her, but he did think time may have healed the wounds a little, at least he had hoped it would have.

He thought back to the first time he had seen her. 

He walked down the hallway in Sunnydale High minding his own business when suddenly he was charged into by a crazy, short blonde girl.

"In a hurry luv?" he questioned as he bent down to pick up the papers she had scattered over the floor.

"I am not your love!" she bit back.

Spike took a step back and held his hands up.

"First day pet?" he said as he looked through the papers in his hand.

"What's it to you?" she snapped.

Spike smiled at the angry young woman stood glaring at him.  She was different to the other girls here, she had a spark.  In fact she was a breath of fresh air in a High School frequented prominently by the stuck up girls Spike hated, girls with no opinions of their own, sheep.  She obviously had some issues going on, but at least she had some fire.

He had been in Sunnydale for a year already, but he still remembered his first day at a new school. 

His family had decided it would be a good learning experience to finish his schooling in America rather than his native England, and he had jumped at the chance happy to get away from his overbearing parents, even if just for a year. 

"Shit blondie, you've got a hell of a lot of classes here, who did you piss off?" Spike questioned as he read through her schedule.

"I missed a lot of classes at my last school, so have to do the extra work here." Buffy answered. 

"Why doesn't he just leave me alone, the last thing I need is so bit hit on on my first day!"  she thought to herself. "Although he is hot!"

He had sharp cheekbones like she had never seen before, and crazy hair, a shock of peroxide all slicked back but a few strands had come forward and were curling around at his temple.  She felt like his eyes could see straight into her soul, piercing blue, she was captivated. 

"What's your name pet?" he asked, she jumped back to reality realising she had been blatantly staring at his striking features. "Bad Buffy," she thought to herself. The last thing she needed was a man in her life, any sort of man, and that especially applied to the gorgeous, sexy variety!

"Buffy" she replied, the blonde in front of her chuckled, "No really," he repeated his question.

Buffy passed him a deadly glare, "What's yours bleach boy?"  She snapped

"Spike" he answered.

Buffy burst into giggles, "Oh and like that is so much better."

They both stood laughing together, He couldn't take his eyes off her, her long silky blonde hair falling seductively over one shoulder, soft full lips pouting prettily, sexy hazel eyes looking back into his, he was intoxicated by her. He handed her papers back, his hand softly brushing hers. Buffy jumped back abruptly the moment broken.  Spike looked to the floor freaked out by what had just happened.  "Get a grip," he thought to himself, but he could still feel a tingle across the skin where he had touched her.

"Spike!" Spike looked up to see Drusilla standing beside him with a face like thunder.  "Run along little girl," she snarled at Buffy.

Buffy just stared back at the peculiar girl standing in front of her and smiled.  She bit her tongue to stop herself snapping back at her, even though the ammunition she had was priceless. She looked like an extra from a Dracula movie or something, long black hair, far too much eyeliner and deep red lipstick, not to mention the 'out there' goth dress. Buffy guessed that she was trampling over Dru's territory with her little hallway liaison with Spike, only accentuated when Drusilla put a claiming hand on his shoulder and started to nuzzle his neck.

"Well Spike, its been an 'experience'" Buffy whispered softly in his ear, and with that she turned and walked down the hall away from him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

"_The past makes us what we are today and gives us future imperfect…………….and to understand where we are now we must look back into our past._

Sunnydale High. Buffy's first week at school.

"Buffy! Buffy! Over here!" Willow bounced up and down in her seat waving wildly.

"Hey it's the Buffster!" Xander announced, and pulled out a chair for the pretty blonde. "Have a seat Buff," he beamed at her. 

Buffy smiled to herself, Willow and Xander were certainly different to the crowd she used to hang with at her old school. They certainly weren't the 'in' crowd that was for sure, but she'd had enough of that in LA.  She had learnt that the cool kids couldn't be relied on, they wouldn't be there when things went wrong, would never support her, and in fact would turn on her, ridicule her or worse desert her.  She couldn't handle that again. 

 Initially she had approached Willow, because it seemed she was as nerdy as they come, and her friend Xander hadn't seemed much better in the cool department.  These were the sorts of people that would be happy to be her friend, who would never desert her.  Of course she felt kind of shitty about that now, it turned out that these two kids were beyond cool, they were real, and their friendship was real.  Buffy didn't know how she would have survived her first week at Sunnydale High without them.  

She met Willow on the first day, and they had met after school every night since.  Willow was blessed in the brains and organization department, and had helped Buffy to catch up on some of the stuff she had missed early in the term.  She had just wanted to blend into the background in her new school, get through her final year, and then get the hell out of Sunnydale to college. But they had made her welcome, and now school wasn't such a drag after all, apart from the actual work of course. 

Buffy put her dinner tray on the canteen table and sat down.

She poked suspiciously at the dark brown lump of meat, purporting to be a hamburger and wrinkled up her nose. 

"Anyone wanna tell me what the hell this is?" Buffy questioned.

"Rumour has it that they make them from retired dinner ladies," Xander joked.

"Ewwww, and that's me done!" Buffy pushed her plate away.

"The Jell-O however as far as we can tell is harmless and copious consumption can create an excellent sugar rush," Xander grinned. 

"Oh yay because a sugar rush is just what Buffy needs to act more of a no brainer in class!" Buffy replied. 

"English class not so good Buffy?" Willow looked concerned.

"Oh it was just great, if you class making a complete ass out of yourself and being corrected by a wanna be Billy Idol throwback good!" Buffy cringed trying to put the whole sorry experience out of her head.

"Thinking about it a sugar rush can't make it any worse really!" Buffy shook her head and shoveled a huge spoonful of green Jell-O into her mouth.  She didn't notice the figure standing behind her.  Willow kicked her in the shin and Buffy snapped her head up.

"What?" Buffy tried to say with Jell-O falling out of her mouth.  Willow turned her eyes to look behind her friend, Buffy looked over her shoulder, mouth still stuffed with green jelly.

Spike stood behind her, head cocked to one side trying to work out how someone so cute could look so ridiculous.  He raised his left eyebrow.

"English was, well it was entertaining wasn't it Buffy?" he said trying to keep a straight face.

"What do you want?" she asked annoyed, as she wiped the goo from her mouth. 

He just laughed at her.

"What?" she snapped.

"Well pet, after your amazing display of no knowledge in class I thought you could use some of my notes to catch up." He smirked

She glared at him angrily. "I don't need your help!"

 "Suit yourself, your making such a bang up job of it, I'll leave you to it shall I?"  He snarled at her.

"Silly bitch!" He muttered under his breath as he walked away. 

Buffy looked over to the table he had sat at, she could tell they were all laughing at her, it wasn't as if they were even trying to be discreet.  Drusilla had draped herself around his back, and was recounting the whole embarrassing English class incident to the whole table, who Buffy thought were finding the tale a lot funnier than it actually was.  She had come in halfway through the term, and so she had been discussing the wrong book in detail. It wasn't that damn funny

"What a jerk!" Buffy pouted.

"I am going to head off to the library, it appears I have a few books I need to get," she sighed and picked up her bag. 

"See you after school Buffy, movie evening tonight remember!" Willow squealed animatedly.

"Sure thing Wills," and with that she headed out of the canteen.

As she passed by the table where he sat the group fell into silence, waiting for her to pass before bursting into laughter.  She walked on ignoring them all.  

 "Are my Spike's eyes wandering? Does he want the pretty blonde princess?" Drusilla whispered into his ear. 

"Don't go all crazy on me love, you know you are the only princess for me." He replied and kissed her on the forehead.  But his eyes followed her out of the canteen.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.

"Buffy honey is that you?" Joyce called out from the kitchen.

"Hey mom! How was your day?" Buffy strolled towards the sofa and slumped into it sighing loudly.

"A lot better than yours by the sound of it, what's wrong sweetheart?" she questioned, leaning in to stroke her distressed daughters hair.

"Just a rough day mom, nothing to worry about promise," she feigned a smile.

"And definitely nothing that won't be cured by a movie night with Willow and Xander! Chick flicks, popcorn, sodas, more movies and popcorn, did I mention the popcorn?"  Buffy jumped out of the chair and hugged her mother. 

 "Which means I better get ready! Don't wanna go and miss anything!" with that she headed towards the stairs. 

"Buffy, you haven't forgotten Wesley has invited us all over for dinner tonight have you honey?" Joyce asked, knowing it was quite apparent she had. 

"Oh mom, do I have to?" Buffy whined.

"Yes young lady you do! Now go get ready, we have to leave in an hour."

"Great!" Buffy thought to herself as she slammed her bedroom door.  "Sabotage my social life why don't you!" she threw her bag to the floor.

Wesley had been a friend of the family for many years, and it was partly due to him that the Summers girls had found themselves in Sunnydale.  Joyce didn't want to move somewhere where they knew nobody at all, she felt it would be too much upheaval for her daughters, but also too lonely for herself.  She decided if she was going to be rebuilding her life, she might as well do it someplace where there was a friendly face.  Wesley was indeed that friendly face.  There had never any romance between them, the mere mention of anything like that had the two girls gagging, but they had to admit that he was always there for their mother.  Without him Joyce really wondered whether she could have managed to get Sunnydale High to accept her eldest, let alone the help he had offered in finding her a job. 

Buffy had completely forgotten she had agreed to go over to dinner that evening and stomped around her room, picking up various items of clothing and throwing them down again. She ripped open her closet and rummaged ferociously through the rail. 

"Dawn!!" she screamed.

"Dawn, what did I tell you about borrowing my clothes?"

The teenager appeared at the bedroom door and stood pouting with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I haven't touched your stuff!" she snapped back.

Buffy looked at her younger sister and glared.

"You're wearing my blue sweater! I wanted to wear that!" 

"Tough!" Dawn spat back, and slammed the bedroom door.

The relationship between the two sisters was strained at the moment to say the least.  Dawn resented having to leave her friends and change school, as far as she was concerned it was all Buffy's fault.  If Buffy had just kept her mouth shut then her parents would still be together, and she wouldn't have to be living in this lame ass town. 

Buffy returned to her closet and pulled out a white lace blouse and a pair of tailored jeans.

"This will have to do I guess," she mumbled as she did the buttons up on her blouse.

The door to her bedroom flew open, and a cordless phone was flung into the room landing on the rug with a bump.

"Its Willow for you, be quick I want to call Marcia!" the teenager rasped.

Buffy bent down and retrieved the telephone, sending a vicious glare to the younger girl leaning on the doorframe.

"Willow, I gotta call a rain check tonight I am so so sorry!" Buffy pleaded. 

"Hey Buffy its no big!" she replied trying hard to disguise the disappointment in her voice.

"Yeah I gotta go have dinner with my Moms friend, its kind of a family thing, It'll be dead boring and absolutely no fun of any kind will be had I promise!" Buffy continued. 

Willow laughed, "Well so long as it's all no fun Buffy tonight, I guess we will let you off.  You wanna hang out tomorrow though? I can show you around town if you like." 

Buffy smiled, "Hanging sounds cool, I'll call you about ten tomorrow then. You guys have some big fun for me tonight though yeah!"

Buffy made sure the call was disconnected, before throwing the phone back at her sister who shrieked as it struck her on the knee.  She then started to pull a brush through her thick blonde hair, careful to get all the snags out before pulling it into a neat ponytail.  A quick slip of lip gloss over her lips and she was ready to go.

It was almost half eight as the SUV pulled up onto Wesley's driveway.

"Only 30 minutes late! Wes will be impressed," Buffy smiled to herself, knowing that the Summers women were not exactly renowned for their good timekeeping.

Wesley lived in a very nice area of the town, his house wasn't as large as Buffy had expected, but did have a very English look about it, which was a little out of place amongst the other buildings in the road.  She had to admit she was looking forward to seeing him again, it had been quite some time since they had actually been in the same room together.  He had been pretty busy with his company, running around helping her mother recently, and Buffy, well she had a lot of her own problems to be dealing with. 

As they approached the front door it was flung open, and Wesley bounded down the pathway. 

"Joyce you look fantastic, Elizabeth, Dawn, come on in, make yourselves at home."  He was prone to be more than a little excitable and Buffy wondered if he was going to burst.  She often wondered how he had managed to retain such an extremely posh English accent, despite living in America most of his life.

"Elizabeth, how is Sunnydale High treating you?" Wesley questioned.

The blonde cringed. 'Please god no, not the school interrogation, let me at least get through the front door first!' she thought before answering brightly. 

"Schools just great Wes thanks."  She beamed an Oscar winning smile in his direction.

Wesley grinned back, "Excellent, that's really wonderful Elizabeth, I knew you would just fit right in."

"I was speaking to William earlier and he said you were doing really well in class."

Joyce smiled towards Wesley, "He did, well that's nice to know isn't it Buffy?"

Buffy looked around confused.

"He did? He who? Huh?" Buffy stuttered.

"Superb, well you two can have a good chat about it when he gets back from the Chinese, I am cooking take away tonight ladies, I am afraid the company is occupying all my cooking time these days."

Buffy sat back into Wesley's rather large couch and surveyed the room, its was so Wesley, lots of ornaments and strange looking artwork, and more books than any sane person would ever have the time to read.  Now her mom had got the job managing the art gallery in town, Buffy assumed their house would soon be full of weirdness disguised as art too. 

"Oh joy!" she thought out loud.

Having to ditch her new friends for an evening with Wesley was one thing, but for an evening of fun school chat with one of her teachers, now that was just cruel.

"Who the hell is William?" she thought crinkling up her forehead as she did so.

After a few minutes she had it narrowed down to three.  It wasn't actually that hard, most of her teachers were women, so that really ruled them out of the equation just leaving Mr. Barratt her English teacher.  Buffy was fairly confident that he would never describe her as doing well in class, she cringed remember the days earlier embarrassment.  It was either Mr. Collins her Math teacher, or Mr. Pires who did Spanish.  

'I suck at Math and Spanish!'  She let out a groan, 'Oh please let it be Mr. Pires, at least I have the excuse of never taking Spanish before, and he is pretty cute too.' 

Buffy was snapped out of her daydream, by the sound of banging coming from the front door. 

"Elizabeth, would you mind terribly answering that for me." Wesley shouted from the basement where he was proudly showing Joyce his wine collection.

Buffy headed for the front door, the person on the other side was banging constantly.

"Hang on, hang on!" she shouted and flung the door open.

She stood in the doorway mouth open for what seemed like an age, snapped out of her stupor as the impatient man spoke.

"Hello, loaded with very hot bags here pet, any chance of you moving your pretty little ass out of the way?"

She still stood mouth agape so he pushed his way past her.

"Bloody women!" he muttered as he made his way to the kitchen.

"You reckon you could shut the door and help me sort this lot out?" he shouted through to the pretty blonde.

The door slammed so hard the walls shook and Spike smiled to himself.  He was getting under her skin and he knew it.  He had to admit he had been a bit slow putting two and two together where she was concerned.  When Wesley had been talking about his friends daughter that might need some help settling in to school he had always referred to her as Elizabeth, it was only when Wes had been getting some old photos out earlier than the penny had dropped.  The girl he was supposed to take under his wing was none other than Buffy Summers.

Spike could feel the girl glaring at him and turned around sharply.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she snapped, her eyes piercing into him.

He smiled sweetly and returned to dishing out the Chinese food.

"I live here love, have done for the last year.  I am surprised the nibblet never mentioned me." 

Buffy stared back blankly.

"You are surprised the whatlet didn't mention you?"

She didn't have to wait long for her answer.  Dawn bounced into the room and flung her arms around him.  He gave her a big bear hug and lifted her onto the worktop.  

It all started to make sense now.  Her mother had said that Wesley had a lodger but it had slipped her mind.  It also explained why Dawn was always more than happy to go over to Wesley's with her mother, she had a crush on him.

"Nibblet, you fancy helping me dish up, big sis here seems to think it's beneath her," he chuckled.

"Dawn, go help mom set the table," Buffy snapped. Dawn huffed and stormed into the dining room.

She turned back to face him.

"I guess you think this is really funny huh?" 

She didn't give him a chance to answer before continuing.

 "Making fun of me at school, laughing about me with your friends when you know I have to come here and be polite, and be Nice Buffy tonight."  She hardly paused for breath. 

"Who the hell do you think you are?" 

Spike smiled, she was adorable when she was angry.

"What the hell are you looking at?"

"You." He replied as he stared straight into her eyes.

She looked away, "Well stop it! Don't look at me, not ever!" 

She grabbed two plates from the sideboard and moved to make her way to the dining room, but as she tried to exit the kitchen he barred her way, putting his hands firmly on her shoulders. 

"Buffy wait!" he spoke gently. "I was trying to help today, it just came out all wrong, and I didn't mean to make you feel stupid."  There was honesty in the softness of his voice.

Buffy stood rigid. "Well maybe you should have told that to Cruella!" she replied.

"Cruella? Oh you mean Dru, ignore her pet, she's just being a bitch, she wasn't too happy after the other day in the hallway." 

She was looking at the floor avoiding any sort of eye contact so he reached up with his hand, putting it underneath her chin and slowly raised her head so he was looking directly into her eyes.  Her skin was flushed and he couldn't help but notice that she was trembling.  He ran his hand up the side of her face and captured a stray strand of long blonde hair, replacing it behind her ear never breaking eye contact.   She took a sharp intake of breath and he removed his hand taking a step back.

"Look I am sorry about today Buffy," he spoke gently.  He leant in close to her and whispered in her ear, "Can you forgive me?"

In her mind Buffy was screaming "No, no, no." So she was almost as surprised as he was when she leant into him and whispered, "I already have."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief as the bell rang signaling the end of another English lesson from hell.  She had actually managed to impress Mr. Barratt her teacher, thanks mostly to the notes Spike had given her the week previous at dinner.  Every time she answered a question correctly she would see him beaming over at her. 

It wasn't the class that was her problem, it was the two bitches sat at the back of the class, Cordelia Chase and Darla, snickering, pointing and passing notes about the class.  One had got as far as Spike and Buffy had watched him read it, with his face twisting into a disbelieving frown before he screwed it up and threw it back at Cordelia with a freezing glare.  He hadn't met her gaze again all lesson.   

She couldn't wait to get out of there, not wanting to wait around to find out what the two girls were saying about her.  She snapped closed her folder and quickly threw her bag over her shoulder, running from the class into the crowded hallway.

She opened her locker and was attempting to squeeze her textbooks into the tiny space she had left, when she heard her name being called.  Buffy poked her head round the locker door and saw the 2 girls from her English class standing smirking at her just across the hall.  

They were the girls every guy wanted to date, Cordelia was stunning, dark hair always beautifully coiffed, head cheerleader and dating the star quarterback in the schools football team.  She was a walking cliché.  Darla was a spoilt, rich, daddies girl, beautiful and perfect in everyway, well perfect except for the stinking attitude she had.  In her old school they would have been Buffy's friends, but not here, that had all changed now. 

They had been joined by Drusilla, who cast Buffy an evil glance as she whispered something into Darla's ear.

Buffy returned to the task in hand, forcing an overly large book into an increasingly smaller hole.  The more she arranged the contents the less space there became.  It was a futile experiment, but she was putting all her concentration into it, to help her ignore the giggles coming from across the way.  Her concentration was broken when she heard Darla shriek out,

 "Oh my god, she's such a freak!" followed by Cordelia adding, "Yeah she should be locked up, she is like a total lunatic.  Her last school threw her out after she half killed some guy, broke his jaw and everything."  

This attracted the attention of pretty much everyone within earshot of the group, and they all turned to look at the tiny blonde girl approaching them.

"What is your problem?" Buffy snarled at the brunette.

Drusilla decided this was a good point to join in, "That would be you my sweet," she whispered sinisterly as she slowly waved her finger around and pointed at the blonde. "You see we don't want you here, your not right."

Cordelia leant in towards Buffy and whispered to her, "And how is Angel these days, I hear he found someone better, you weren't enough for him were you."

Buffy snapped, she drew back her arm and hit the mocking brunette square in the face.  Cordelia went falling to the floor slumped against the lockers.  Darla just stared at the furious girl in front of her in silence, but Dru grabbed her by the hair and threw her across the hall.  She caught Buffy off guard and she went tumbling into another girl that had been watching all the excitement with interest.  They both fell to the floor in a heap.  An ear piercing bellow from down the hall broke the chaos of the moment.

"Buffy Summers! Faith Collins My office now!"

"Oh shit!" Both girls mumbled simultaneously.

A furious Principal Snyder stood above them, face so red with rage Buffy half expected steam to come out of his ears.

"Cordelia Chase, get that seen to by the nurse then come to my office!"  Cordelia stared back blankly. "Today Missy, today!" He shouted at her.

The two girls walked into the waiting room in silence. "Sit down!" Snyder bellowed before walking into his office and slamming the door.

"You're Buffy Summers aren't you?" The other girl asked, Buffy nodded and put her head in her hands.

"Well wicked punch B! Can't say I haven't thought of punching Cordelia once or twice myself, stuck up bitch."

Buffy didn't reply, just sat with her head in her hands.

"Look don't stress it," the brunette continued, "Snyder's an ass but you'll only get a suspension or something."

Buffy sat up, tears welling in her eyes.  "You don't understand, I am in so much shit!" she mumbled before breaking down. 

Faith put her arm around her shoulders, "Look Buff, it'll be cool, he will just give you a week then you'll be right back," she tried to reassure.

"You don't understand," Buffy sobbed. "I am on probation here, it's strictly one strike and I'm out.  I am totally screwed, Shit my moms gonna kill me!" 

"Shit!" Faith replied, "You are screwed huh?" she pulled her face into a frown.  She then stood up and walked over to the office door. 

 "Principal Snyder, I gotta go to the ladies room, be right back."  She closed the door before he had a chance to answer and walked across the waiting room. 

 As she passed Buffy she whispered in her ear, "Deny everything, I hit her OK, I'll sort it but you are gonna so owe me one."  

She didn't give the confused blonde a chance to answer before she swept out the door.

A few minutes later Cordelia arrived already sporting the beginnings of a fierce black eye.  She scowled at the blonde before knocking on Snyder's door and entering.

She left a few minutes later passing Faith in the doorway.

"Buffy Summers, it appears you are off the hook, go home, but be very sure that I am watching you young lady!"  Buffy didn't need a second offer, she shot out of her chair and ran from the room sobbing.

She flung open the main doors and ran down the stairs not looking back.

"Buffy! Buffy wait up!"  Spike stubbed out the cigarette he had been smoking and chased after her.

"Buffy!" he grabbed her arm and swung her round gripping her tightly.

"Just leave me alone Spike, please just go away!" She sobbed.

"What the hell happened in there?" He asked with a harsh tone to his voice.

Buffy tried to pull away, but he had a tight hold on her and she started to struggle wildly in his grasp.

"Get your fucking hands off me!" she rasped as she shot him a cold look.

That just made him tighten his hold on her even more.  Buffy looked into his eyes, which were cold and hard.  He looked so angry, nothing like the warmth she had felt from him the previous week.  She tried again in vain to pull away from him. 

"I said let me go!" 

"Or what Buffy, you gonna hit me? You got quite a reputation for that or so I hear!" He spat the words out and watched as the tears began to flow down her cheeks.  She stopped struggling and stared into him.

"You wouldn't understand Spike," she whispered.

She looked so vulnerable he thought, so scared.

"And I won't until you explain it to me pet."

He loosened his grip on her and pulled her towards him.  She practically collapsed into his chest as she began to cry even harder.  He ran his hands through her hair and pulled her head down onto his chest and held her until her sobs subsided.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

"Won't you get in trouble for ditching classes this afternoon?" Buffy asked as she pushed the pancakes on her plate around.

Spike took a long drag from his cigarette and then stubbed it out roughly in the ashtray.

"I was done for the day anyway, so no," he replied.  "And anyhow I thought you looked like you needed someone to talk to, figured I was as good a person as any."

"You want another soda?" he asked, beckoning over the waitress.

"Milkshake, large and chocolaty, very chocolaty please," Buffy smiled meekly.

He looked towards her and tilted his head, his eyes searching for an answer.  "What happened in there love? You were totally off your rocker? I thought Snyder was gonna explode or something!" 

Buffy raised her eyes to his.  She wished he wouldn't look at her that way, liked he actually gave a shit.

Buffy sighed deeply, "Yeah he was seriously mad, but its all cool now, he let me off with a warning so can we………………..can we talk about something else please Spike?" she begged, and she wrapped her lips around her straw and began to work her way through her super sized milkshake. 

Spike pulled the straw from her mouth and dragged the glass towards him speaking slowly, "Let me see, you deck the most popular girl in school, Dru flings you across the hall, and then Snyder just lets you off with a warning.  Nothing worth talking about here pet is there?"  He smirked, god how she hated that smirk. 

"So seen any good films lately?" he asked.

"Huh?" Buffy stared back at him.

"How are you enjoying 'Mansfield Park'?" he continued.

Buffy looked confused.

"Who do you reckon is the better team, Manchester United or Arsenal?"  He looked at her awaiting her response.

Buffy just raised her eyebrows and looked completely baffled.

"Oh wait I got a good question for you, Why did you deck Cordy?"

"Argh!" she screamed, "You are infuriating you know that!"

"You really want to know, she was a bitch, and I hit her, end of story. Happy?" she sat back in her chair and pouted

Spike leant back into his seat and said nothing, he just stared at her trying to work out what made her tick.  Buffy fidgeted uncomfortably under his gaze. 'What the hell is he looking at?' she  thought.

He wasn't mad anymore; he just sat silently watching her.  The more the silence dragged on the more she stuck out her lips.  He continue to stare at her, the corners of his mouth turning up as he watched her get more and more agitated by the silence.  Eventually she broke. 

" Ok, you want to know? I'll tell you, not that it's any of your goddamn business!" 

She leant in and took a big sip on her shake as Spike lit another cigarette, then she began.

"Right I'll give you the short version, and no interrupting OK!" she said forcefully.

"No interruptions honest pet" he replied holding his hands up.

She grinned, "See technically that was an interruption, but I'll let it slip this time."

"Right, My dad cheated on my Mum, I caught them, they divorced, and ergo he is a total asshole." Spike nodded in agreement.

"Then I am dating Angel like forever and ever, and I was, well sorta saving myself for him," she said blushing, and instantly cringed and wished she had edited that bit out. Spike couldn't help but let a little smile slip out, 'That is so cute,' he thought.  

Buffy saw this, "You know what, forget it Spike!"  She snapped angrily.

"Sorry, sorry please carry on love," he pleaded.

"Well Angel was all supportive guy, and totally understood why I was falling apart.  My head got a bit messed up, and I was screwing up bad at school and stuff. Anyway he said it was cool to wait, and he didn't mind he wanted it to be perfect, and it was, we were perfect.  I loved him so much," she mumbled as the tears began to well up in her eyes again.

"Let me guess, he was happy waiting for you because he had some other trixie on the go as well, right?"

Buffy nodded.

"What an asshole!"

Spike got up from his chair and moved round to the seat beside Buffy and slid his arm around her.

"Yeah, major asshole, caught him with his pants down, literally, in the locker room. He just laughed at me Spike. He sat there and laughed, and said I wasn't worth the wait," she rested her head on his shoulder and lets the tears come. 

"I totally flipped, I hit him.  He fell.  Bastard smashed his jaw on the bench, and as he fell something snapped in his leg, so no more football for Angel.  They expelled me, so there's your story, good enough for you?"  

"Sounds like he deserved it if you ask me Pet!" he reassured, "I don't get what that has to do with today though?"

Buffy sat up off his shoulder and ran her fingers through her hair, then pulled a napkin from the holder to wipe the mascara streaks from her face.

"She knew, somehow they all new." She sighed again, "I shouldn't have hit her, that was stupid, and I could have got expelled again.  Not to mention everyone will think I am a crazy woman now

Spike grinned at her, she looked so cute when she was vulnerable.

"Yeah well, I like a bit of crazy in my girls," he whispered softly in her ear.  "What's the deal with you and Faith then?" he questioned.

Buffy swirled her milkshake around with the straw,  "Hmmm she's a strange one, she totally took the rap for me, said she wanted to deck Cordy anyway. I guess I owe her one."  She snapped her head up to look straight at him, "Should that worry me?" she said looking more than a little freaked out.

"What Faith, no pet she's a good'un, says it like she sees it that one."

Buffy looked at her watch and realized they had been sitting in the diner for 2 hours.  She had poured her heart out to him, and he just listened and let her get everything out.  She had felt so comfortable with him she totally forgot she had to pick Dawn up from school.

"Oh shit, shit, shit I am so dead, I was supposed to meet Dawnie at her school."  

"Let me give you a lift pet," Spike offered as he called over the waitress for the bill. "You'll never make it in time on foot."

This was an offer she definitely wasn't going to refuse.

As they tore through the streets of Sunnydale Buffy leant forward and turned off the radio.

"Spike," she spoke softly, "Can we like not tell my mom about today??  He just nodded silently in agreement, as they pulled up outside the school ten minutes early in fact.

He turned to look at her.

"Buffy, don't suppose you fancy coming to the Bronze tonight, my mates bands playing, should be a good night?" he spoke gently searching her face for an answer.

She raised one eyebrow, "Don't think your girlfriend will be too happy with that Spike? Not seeing as last time I saw her she had a handful of my hair in her hand!" She pointed to her hair where there was a small chunk ripped out.

"Thing is Buffy," he replied firmly, "I am friends with who I like, not who my friends approve of.  Me and Dru, well we are complicated, we go back a long way, longer than anyone else I know.  She is a crazy bitch, sometimes she makes me want to scream, but she's always been there for me.  I'll speak to her, tell her to cut you a break, she will listen to me."

Buffy looked unconvinced.

Spike continued, "You'll like her, honest!" Buffy snorted and rolled her eyes.

"No seriously Buffy, when she isn't around bloody Darla and Cordelia she's ok, they just bring out the worst in her."

Buffy waved out the window at Dawn, who was running towards the car beaming at Spike.

"Look I'll be there from 8pm, would be great if you came too, but if not then I understand," he said gently. "And Buffy, Dru's my girl, but were not together like that anymore. I love her, I would do anything for her, but I am not in love with her."

Buffy didn't have a chance to respond as Dawn threw open the car door and began chatting animatedly to Spike.

They soon pulled onto the driveway on Revello Drive.  As Buffy opened the door to get out of the car Spike put his hand gently on her wrist.  "Might see you later then love?" he whispered looking deep into her eyes.

"Maybe," she replied before pushing the door open, "Spike," she paused, "Thanks for today."

She walked up the pathway smiling, maybe the day wasn't turning out so bad after all.

To be continued…..


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.  
  
"Remind me again, why we are here?" Xander whispered into Willow's  
ear, as the three made their way through the doorway at The Bronze,  
"Because I am not real convinced this is a good plan!"  
  
"Have to say I am with you on that one, but Buffy suggested it, and  
she had a pretty rough day. Maybe it will do her some good to blow  
off some steam." said Willow, twisting a lock of red hair around her  
fingers in an agitated manner.  
  
Xander pulled the redhead to one side. "Yeah Will, I am all for the  
blowing off of steam, but I just think doing it at the haunt of the  
girl whose ass you just kicked is, well ?? It's kind of stupid, don't  
you think?" Willow nodded, "I mean steam, would be better blown off  
at say, the bowling alley for instance."  
  
"True," she agreed but I don't think Spike would be seen dead there do  
you?" she giggled at the thought of Spike swapping his heavy boots,  
and leather coat for some bowling shirt and shoes. Xander looked on  
bemused and oblivious.  
  
The two stood awkwardly in the entrance, waiting for Buffy to put her  
coat in the cloakroom. After a few minutes she bounced over towards  
them beaming.  
  
"You guys not putting your coats in?" she asked, and stared at the  
couple, before tugging at the corner of Willows jacket.  
  
Xander was the first to pipe up." Well we just thought, in the event  
of having to make a swift exit, maybe it would be wise to hang on to  
them. Just for a bit, you understand?" he smiled sheepishly.  
  
"You guys!" Buffy slapped Xander on the shoulder playfully, "It'll be  
fine, Spikes sorting it out for me."  
  
Xander stared at the bubbly blonde.  
  
"What?" Buffy squealed. "He said it would be ok."  
  
"When did you see Spike, Buff? I thought you went straight home after  
the Cordy incident?" Willow teased. It was pretty obvious to her that  
the blonde was harbouring a crush on Spike. She had practically  
talked about nothing else since they had met up that evening. Buffy  
felt her cheeks begin to flush, and she shuffled from one foot to  
another.  
  
"I kind of ran into him after I left school, briefly, very briefly. He  
bought me pancakes, and hot chocolate with those little marshmallows"  
she grinned widely, then quickly tried to suppress the smile.  
  
"Pancakes huh!" Xander raised his eyebrows and wiggled them.  
  
"Ok, what are we all drinking then?" Buffy changed the subject, as she  
led the others towards the bar.  
  
They managed to find a table in the far corner of the dark club, and  
all settled themselves around it.  
  
"Still keeping those coats on huh?" Buffy teased, and she began to  
search the room looking for a familiar face.  
  
She couldn't see him anywhere. 'Dammit Spike, don't you stand me up!'  
she thought to herself.  
She was chatting to her friends when she felt a tap on her shoulder,  
she span round in her seat smiling broadly.  
  
"Hey B! Didn't have this down as your kinda place?" Faith was smiling  
down at her. "You fancy going another round with the bitches?" Willow  
looked at her horrified. "Chill honey, joke alright! Listen B, can I  
talk to you about that favour? I know just what you can do for me!"  
  
Buffy nodded and followed the brunette to the ladies room. Faith  
looked fantastic, there was no denying that. She had on tight black  
leather pants and a tiny halter-top, that left little to the  
imagination. On anyone else it would look trashy, but Faith actually  
made trashy look good. Buffy felt pretty conservative in her outfit  
choice by comparison. She hadn't wanted to look like she was out to  
impress tonight, she had gone for 'casual' but 'cool' look, with just  
a hint of sexy thrown into the mix, she didn't want Spike thinking she  
had made a special effort for him. Having said that it took two hours  
to perfect this, 'I just grabbed the first thing I found in my closet'  
look. She had finally settled on a pair of hipster jeans and a low,  
but not too low-cut top. She looked good.  
  
As they approached the ladies room, Buffy noticed Dru and Darla, at  
the table just to the side. Both girls turned to look as she passed,  
but before Buffy could freak out Faith grabbed her hand and pulled her  
in the door. She jumped up and sat on the area by the sinks, looking  
in the mirror and shaking her hair out.  
  
"Thing is Buff, as I see it I saved your ass today! Your future would  
have been totally screwed, if you had gotten yourself thrown out of  
school today." Buffy nodded, starting to worry just where Faith was  
going with this.  
  
"Well I saved your future, now you can save mine!" Faith took a swig  
from her beer bottle and grinned. "When schools out I need a job, the  
foster people I am with won't keep me, so I need to support myself."  
  
Buffy nodded, Spike had told her earlier about Faith being in care,  
and it explained a lot.  
  
"So I need you to help me get a job. What do you say?" She looked to  
Buffy for her response.  
  
"Well I am working for my mom's friend in the holidays, its nothing  
great, photocopying, making coffee, that kind of shit," Buffy started.  
  
"I can ask if you can do it too, if you like?" Faith grabbed Buffy by  
the hair and planted a big kiss on her lips.  
  
"That's my girl!" she grinned and jumped down off the side. As she  
went to leave the room she turned. "B, if you're looking for you  
little friend, he had to drive Oz to get some spare strings for his  
guitar." She blew Buffy a kiss and slid out the door.  
  
Buffy returned to join her friends around the table. "What was that  
about Buff?" Xander asked, "She's not, you know, blackmailing you or  
something?" he continued concerned.  
  
"No, bizarrely she wanted me to help her get a job." Buffy shrugged  
her shoulders and turned to watch the band that had begun to play.  
  
She didn't even see that he had arrived. He stood at the bar leaning  
on one arm watching her. 'God she looks hot tonight!' he thought,  
sporting a smile to himself. He loved the way she flicked her hair,  
and then fell back, to the exact same place it was before. He loved  
the way she waved her arms in the air, when she spoke about something  
she was excited about. He could have watched her all night, but he  
was disturbed from his thoughts when Faith appeared in his line of  
sight.  
  
"So I was wondering, are you gonna actually grow some balls and go  
speak to her!" she joked, "Or are you just gonna make moon eyes at her  
all night?"  
  
"Already gone." He winked at her, and headed towards their table.  
  
The band had started to play a slower song as he approached.  
  
"Hey Buffy!" he said as he pulled up a seat beside her, "You look  
beautiful." He whispered in her ear as he sat down.  
  
She couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face.  
  
"Hi!" He waved a hand at the two sat across from him. "Its Willow  
isn't it, I have Chem class with you right?"  
  
Willow grinned, "Yup that's me! Hi to you too!!" She waved her hand  
about furiously returning the wave, 'wow, he remembers me' she  
thought.  
  
"That would make you Xander then, Buffy told me about you guys."  
Xander reached his hand out to shake Spikes'.  
  
Willow and Xander turned their attention back to the band, in  
particular the guitarist who Willow reckoned had a certain something.  
The man in question, kept looking over and smiling, but Willow assumed  
he must have been smiling at someone else.  
  
"So Buffy, you want to dance?" Spike asked.  
  
'Oh my god, oh my god, breathe Buffy breathe,' she thought.  
  
Spike took her hands gently and led her onto the dance floor. He  
raised them up putting them around his neck, and then began to slowly  
run his hands down her side until they reached her waist. She tingled  
beneath his touch. He slowly wrapped his hands around her waist and  
pulled her tightly to him, she gasped as he did. They were so close  
she could feel his heart beating in his chest, and she was sure he  
could feel hers.  
  
"You okay love?" He whispered in her ear. She could hardly speak, so  
she just looked into his eyes, as she pulled him in closer still.  
Spike thought this must be a 'yes', so he gently ran his fingers up  
her spine and tangled them in her hair, pulling her head down to rest  
against his chest.  
  
"Just move with me pet," he spoke quietly as they began to sway in  
time to the music. He stroked her hair softly and caressed her back  
as they drifted out of reality.  
  
'Don't let this song end,' Buffy thought. It had been a long time  
since she had let anyone get close to her like this. She kept her  
barriers in place to keep from getting hurt again, but Spike, well he  
just walked straight through her defences, as if they weren't even  
there. She hadn't wanted to let anyone in. Not until now. Not until  
Spike.  
  
Buffy raised her head so she could look at him. "This is nice," she  
smiled.  
  
That was enough for Spike, he leant down and brushed his lips slowly  
over hers, barely touching. Buffy pressed her lips back onto his,  
letting him know this was 'ok'. He grasped her bottom lip and nibbled  
it seductively, then gently ran his tongue along it, searching for an  
entrance. Buffy opened her mouth slightly to allow him in and then  
wrapped her fingers in his hair, pulling his head down to deepen the  
kiss. It was long and slow, but full of passion, not at all like  
Angel used to kiss her. They had stopped dancing but hadn't even  
noticed, both too caught up in the moment. He ran his fingers through  
her hair and stroked her face, then broke the kiss to stare into her  
eyes.  
  
"I was so scared you wouldn't come," he whispered, and rested his  
forehead on hers.  
  
"I'm here, and I'm yours!" She replied before drawing him to her for  
another kiss.  
  
Darla grabbed Dru and pulled her towards the dance floor.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with him?" She screeched. "You should so kick  
his ass Dru!"  
  
Drusilla dragged her friend back to their table.  
  
"Its no problem," she said calmly.  
  
"No problem, are you crazy? He ditches you for some little skank! I'd  
say that's a problem."  
  
Drusilla just smiled. "She is borrowing him for a while, that's all.  
He is my Spike, he will always be with me, always and forever, you'll  
see." She picked up her coat and made for the exit.  
  
"He doesn't know it, but he is mine."  
  
Tbc.. Many thanks to Mercy again for her fantastic beta-ing.. 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.  
  
Spike opened the mini bar and stared blankly at the contents. Cola,  
lemonade, orange juice, water.  
  
"Bloody hell, call this a bar!" he cursed.  
  
He pulled out a can of cola and made his way back to the bed,  
grabbing the remote on the way. Kicking off his boots he settled  
himself against the pillows and began to flick through the channels.  
The picture flickered on the screen so he jumped up and walked back  
over to the television, banging it roughly on the top. This only  
succeeded in producing a worse picture than before, so he struck in  
again. The picture flickered into life for a second before  
disappearing completely.  
"For fucks sake!" he shouted, as he flung the remote across the room.  
"That's it, I'm out of here!  
He pulled on his boots, grabbed his coat and stomped through the door,  
slamming it closed behind him.  
  
It had been over 5 years since he had been last in Sunnydale, and from  
driving around he had noticed very little had changed. There was only  
one place to go of an evening then, and that was The Bronze. He had  
driven past it earlier, knew it was still there, so he figured that  
was as good a place as any to drown his sorrows, so that was where he  
instructed the cab driver to take him.  
  
"Buffy!" Dawn pounded on the bathroom door, "Buffy, hurry up in there,  
Will and Tara are gonna be here any minute!"  
  
Buffy leant her head against the shower wall and let the boiling water  
pound her body. It wasn't that she wasn't pleased to see Willow, she  
had missed her like crazy since the redhead had left for New York, and  
she was dying to meet Tara, and hear all the news and gossip. She  
just wished it could have been another time, she wanted to hide in her  
room, pull the covers over her head and wait for things to get better  
again. Buffy knew Willow wouldn't let her do that, she knew none of  
her friends were going to either. She reached out of the shower and  
grabbed a towel, pulling it tight around her, as she made her way to  
her bedroom.  
  
"What to wear?" She pondered as she flicked through the items in her  
closet.  
  
She turned as the door flung open and Faith threw herself onto her  
bed.  
  
"The Xan man and crazy chick just called, they got Red and her honey!"  
Faith grinned. "Come on B! It's party time, wear the leather pants  
girl!" Buffy pulled her red leather pants out and looked at them  
closely.  
  
"You don't think they are a bit, you know, slutty?" she said as she  
looked at Faith. Faith just giggled, "Yeah that's the idea Buffy,  
tonight you are gonna be 'foxy chick'."  
  
"Hmmm," Buffy mused as she retrieved her favourite jeans, "not so  
sure, I am down with the foxiness tonight, I am leaning more towards  
'blend into the background Buffy'. What do you think?" She held up  
both pairs of pants.  
  
"Slutty or homely?"  
  
Faith grabbed the jeans from Buffy's hands and ran from the room. " I  
am burning these damn jeans B! I swear I will!"  
  
"Guess it's the leather then". Buffy said to an empty room.  
  
"So let me get this straight then," the blonde girl started, "It's a  
party for Buffy, because she got a promotion, right?"  
  
"Right." Xander replied.  
  
"But we can't mention it?," she continued with a confused look on her  
face.  
  
"And again I say right!"  
  
"See, that's the part I don't get Xander!"  
  
Xander turned to the pretty blonde who sat beside him, and sighed. "Ok  
one more time Anya. If you mention work, then Buffy will think of  
Spike."  
  
"And that is bad..why?" the girl interrupted.  
  
"That is bad because.it just is," he continued, "Just trust me, it  
will be a 'no fun Buffy' if we get into that conversation, and this is  
supposed to be a fun night, ok." Anya nodded. Xander pulled his car  
up out front of Buffy's apartment.  
  
"Right ladies, here we are, Casa Summers!"  
  
They were barely through the door, before Faith had the entire group  
indulging in a tequila slammer marathon.  
  
Willow watched in amusement, as Buffy knocked back shot after shot.  
  
"So what's the plan then Faith?" she quizzed the already quite tipsy  
brunette.  
  
Faith grinned her special wicked grin. "Well Red, I thought there's  
only one place to go, seeing as how we are all together for the first  
time in like ages, and we have some new arrivals." she motioned to  
Anya and Tara, who were sitting on the sofa watching the antics of  
their friends in amusement. "I figured we gotta hit The Bronze, go  
back to our roots, and shake it up in there!"  
  
"That and Sunnydale is so lame there's nowhere else to go," Dawn  
laughed. "I swear if I have to hear one more story of 'it was so much  
better in our day', I will scream!"  
  
Xander looked at his watch, "Ladies, we are wasting valuable drinking  
time sitting here.drinking! What's say we head on over."  
  
Buffy was the first to jump up and reach for her coat, "Let's go guys,  
I am going to get royally drunk tonight!"  
  
Willow pulled Xander to one side and whispered into his ear. "When did  
Buffy start with the drinking? She could never hold her drink when we  
used to go out before".  
  
Xander pulled his face into a frown, "She still can't Will, I am  
guessing this could be a short night!"  
  
It was almost ten by the time the group of friends had finally managed  
to get organised enough to actually leave the apartment, and get to  
the club.  
  
"Can you guys sort out the drinks, while I go to the ladies room!"  
Buffy beamed before bouncing off through the crowd.  
  
Willow looked to Xander with a look of concern spread across her face.  
"She's taking this pretty well don't you think?" The redhead began,  
"I mean I expected tears, or something, she just seems to be taking it  
all in her stride, and that's a good thing, it's just not what I was  
expecting!" Xander nodded in agreement.  
  
"When I spoke to Faith yesterday, she said Buffy had locked herself in  
her room, wouldn't come out, wouldn't talk," she continued. "She just  
shut herself away. But when we get here and she is all 'Let's party!'  
happy, smiley. I don't get it."  
  
Xander handed the redhead her beer. "It must have been a hell of a  
shock for her Will, I mean he wasn't exactly small heartbreak guy! He  
was the full blown, ultimate I am gonna rip out your heart and stamp  
on it guy!"  
  
Willow took a swig from her bottle and nodded in agreement. "Exactly,  
which brings me back to the 'don't you think she's taking it kinda  
well' part!"  
  
"Its denial!" Anya interrupted matter of factly..  
  
They both turned to look at her.  
  
"Its true, I saw a documentary the other day, all about people that  
have big shocks and pretend like they aren't happening. Its denial I  
tell you." Anya stood grinning insanely. "Deep down she's fiercely  
miserable"  
  
"Who's fiercely miserable?" Buffy came up behind Xander.  
  
He shuffled awkwardly before Tara spoke up, "Oh mmmme... me" she  
stuttered, "The barman wouldn't make me a Margherita." She smiled  
sheepishly.  
Willow gently squeezed her lover's hand and smiled gratefully. The  
last thing she wanted was Buffy thinking they were discussing her  
behind her back. A table had opened up, so the group rushed to get it  
before anyone else saw.  
  
Willow pulled up a seat beside her best friend and took her hand.  
  
"So Buffy!" she smiled at the blonde sat beside her, "How are you  
really?" She searched her eyes looking for an honest answer.  
  
"Ask me tomorrow Will," she replied as she downed another shot of  
tequila, and screwed he face as she sucked on the lemon wedge.  
"Tonight I just want to pretend it's okay, I want to pretend I am ok."  
Willow silently nodded and pulled her in for a big hug.  
  
Anya prodded her oblivious boyfriend in the side. "See, denial. I  
told you!" She said smiling smugly. 


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.  
  
"Stick another one in there love." Spike motioned to his empty glass.  
"In fact make it a double this time, yeah!"  
  
The girl behind the bar took his glass and proceeded to pour two large  
shots of Bourbon. She slid it back across the bar to him.  
  
"Bad day huh?" She asked as he seized the glass. He just stared back  
at her, before returning his gaze back to the bar.  
  
"You just have that 'bad day' look about you, that's all." She  
continued. Spike picked up a beer mat and started to tear the  
cardboard disk apart, ignoring the jabbering woman in front of him.  
  
"Its my first day here, I'm Kelly," she held out her hand. He flung  
the pieces of card back onto the bar.  
  
"Listen, Kelly is it? No offence pet, but if I wanted to talk I  
wouldn't be sitting at the bar alone now would I?" he snapped.  
  
She pulled her hand back and turned her back on him. "Jeez, rude  
much!" She muttered under her breath.  
  
Spike ran his hand back through his hair, then turned his attention  
back to his drink. He didn't want to talk, he just wanted to drink  
himself into a stupor. He just wanted to get that damn Summers' woman  
out of his head. He had started to realise that coming back to  
Sunnydale was probably not the smartest plan in the world. It was  
clear she was never going to forgive him, he was just dredging up  
things that should be left where they belong, in the past. All he had  
wanted was a chance to explain, a chance to tell her why he left. He  
reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes, tapping  
the packet on the side of the bar, he retrieved one and raised it to  
his mouth to light it. Then he heard her. The club was busy, but he  
knew her laugh anywhere. Spike leant against the post by his chair  
and span round a little.  
  
"Shit! Might have known she'd be here," he mumbled banging his head on  
the post.  
  
'Is she drunk?' He thought to himself as he sat and watched. They  
were all there, Willow, Xander, Faith, Dawn. 'Oh bloody brilliant, I  
am gonna get lynched on my second night in town!'  
  
Buffy was pulling Dawn up from her chair, despite Dawn's efforts to  
resist. Spike looked on with amusement as she fell flat on her  
backside. Willow had rushed to her aid, but now Buffy was pulling her  
and Dawn towards the dance floor. He raised his eyebrow, this  
couldn't be the same girl surely. Buffy never drank, ever!  
  
As far as he saw it there were two options, he could make a run for  
the exit, but he was pretty sure Faith would get to him first, not a  
prospect he relished. Spike already knew she was going to make  
earrings out of his bollocks on Monday, as it was. Then there was  
option two, go talk to her, she was drunk and by the looks of it in a  
good mood, she had obviously calmed down since the day before. Spike  
stood up, downed the remainder of his drink and headed towards the  
table of his former friends and lover.  
  
Buffy collapsed back into her chair. "I love tequila, it makes me  
happy!" she sang, very out of tune.  
"More, more!" She waved an empty shot glass in front of Xander. She  
leant forward and her head smacked onto the table.  
  
"Ow! Who moved the table?" She slurred.  
  
Willow put her arm around her girlfriend, who was looking at the scene  
in front of her, trying not to laugh. "Oh boy, she is sure gonna have  
an evil hangover tomorrow!"  
  
Tara nodded and kissed the redhead on the cheek gently. "At least she  
seems, you know, happy. Even if it is a distracted happy, that's a  
good thing right." She smiled.  
  
Faith was the first to notice Spike approaching from the bar. She  
gave him a look that could freeze a person at a hundred paces. He  
stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
"Xan, get her the hell out of here!" Faith snapped. Xander span in  
his chair to face her, she had a face like thunder. "Are you deaf,  
get her out godammit!"  
  
Xander put a hand on her shoulder to try and calm the fiery brunette.  
"Faith don't stress, The Buffster's cool, she ready to pass out any  
minute, then we can take her home, okay." Faith motioned behind his  
head and he turned to look over his shoulder. Faith jumped up and  
headed towards Spike on an intercept course. She was too late, he  
pushed right past her and made moves towards Buffy.  
Buffy had just told a joke that made no sense to anyone but her,  
partly because she told the wrong punch line, but mostly because she  
told the punch line first. She was laughing hysterically, oblivious  
to the silence that had descended around the table.  
  
"Oh boy," Willow whispered, "get ready to duck and cover Tara!"  
  
Spike stood at the side of the table, he was shaking, and he couldn't  
believe it. These people were his friends, or they used to be, yet he  
was terrified.  
  
"Hi guys," he began meekly. Buffy's head flew up. How dare he come  
here?  
  
"Buffy, Hi. Look we really need to talk, can we..can we talk,  
please?" He looked straight into her eyes, they cut straight through  
him. There was no more laughter from her, no smiles. The girl he had  
been watching from the other side of the club, had left the building,  
leaving this bitter shell behind. She simply turned back to Dawn and  
ignored him. Spike refused to leave it at that though, things needed  
to be said and if he didn't say them now, he didn't know if he would  
be able to ever  
  
"Please Buffy, can we talk?"  
  
She spun around to face him again and stood up, staring at him with  
such hate.  
  
"You want to talk do you Spike!" She started calmly. "That's a  
fucking joke!" She spat the words out with venom.  
"Whatdya wanna talk about Spike?" she pushed him on the shoulder and  
he staggered backwards a step.  
  
"Oh wait, I've got a good one," she continued raising her voice  
slightly, "How about where the hell did you go? It's been over five  
years, five fucking years Spike and not a word, now you come back and  
want to talk, well guess what I don't want to hear it!!" He tried to  
get a word in but Buffy was on a roll, and there was no way he was  
getting in the way of it.  
  
"I trusted you, asshole! I believed all your lies! All your lies,  
about how you loved me!" The words caught in her throat as she said  
them.  
  
Spike stepped back towards her," I did love you Buffy, I never lied."  
She pulled back her hand and slapped him across the face. "Liar!" she  
rasped "You loved me so much that after a year you just disappear, no  
note, no call, I thought you were fucking dead, bastard!"  
  
He held his had to his jaw. "I had no choice Buffy, I didn't leave  
because I didn't love you. I left because I had no choice!"  
  
"Fuck you!" She screamed. The argument had caused quite a crowd to  
gather nearby eavesdropping  
.  
"You had five years to come up with an excuse and that's all you can  
think up, 'I had no choice!'," she mimicked him.  
"Well that's just mighty fine Spike, so long as you had no choice,  
huh!"  
  
"I lost my dad, my mom, she dead you know, not that you give a shit  
hey, if it's not about Spike its not important is it!" she shouted at  
him.  
  
Tears began to well in his eyes but he fought them back, " I only just  
heard about your mom Buffy, I am so sorry. I cannot imagine how you  
felt, it must have been awful love, really awful."  
  
She didn't need or want his sympathy. "What the hell would you know  
about it Spike, you have no idea how I felt."  
Buffy could see the anger building in him, his hands were shaking and  
his eyes shining with tears. "You know nothing Spike!" she spat out.  
  
"I have lost everyone Buffy!" He shouted. "My mum, my dad, my  
friends, you, my...." he couldn't get the last words out, why would  
she care anyway. "You don't have a monopoly on loss Summers!" He  
snapped out.  
  
She stood square up to him, "People die Spike, deal with it, I have.  
I'm glad you lost people you love, what goes around usually comes  
around!" Buffy span on her heel and headed to the bar, empty glass in  
hand.  
  
Spike steamed off in the direction of the exit, leather coat billowing  
behind him.  
  
"Ouch!" Anya spoke up,"She fights dirty after a few drinks huh!" 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13.  
  
Spike stormed out of the fire exit at the back of the club, cursing  
under his breath, fighting back the tears.  
It had been so long, so much had happened. There was just too much  
emotion between them, that was clear now. Nothing would be the same  
again.  
  
"Fucking bitch!" He slammed his fist into the corrugated iron fence,  
pulling it back as he felt the pain course down his arm.  
  
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" He kicked the dumpster, before picking up a crate  
of empty glass bottles and slamming them into the floor. Glass  
shattered all around.  
  
Xander appeared at the exit and ran towards the distraught blonde man  
in front of him.  
  
"Spike man, relax!" he said as he approached.  
  
Spike simply turned and looked at his old friend with contempt. "Sod  
off Xander, unless you want me to start punching your face instead of  
this fence."  
  
"She didn't mean that shit about your parents, she wouldn't say  
something like that and mean it." He began to speak softly. "I mean  
what did you expect dude? She was hardly going to welcome you with  
open arms, you broke her heart."  
  
Spike sat down on the curb and put his head into his hands.  
  
Xander continued. "She fell apart man, and then her Mom died, it was  
a rough time for her. She needed you!"  
  
The blonde man couldn't speak, even if he could he didn't know what  
words he could possibly say. Xander seemed to understand this. Spike  
and Xander had quickly become close friends in the year he was dating  
Buffy. The group were pretty much inseparable, they had no secrets  
from each other, and they always thought they would be friends  
forever.  
  
Xander sat down beside Spike on the curb, putting a hand on his  
shoulder in a supportive gesture.  
  
"You didn't just leave her, you left us all!" he continued with a  
subtle hint of bitterness in his voice. "We were friends, we were  
supposed to be moving into that apartment share, you left me in the  
shit with that. Then there was Dawn, she adored you man, and you just  
disappeared!" Spike nodded. "Its not just Buffy that's going to have  
a hard time forgiving, you screwed us all over, for what?"  
  
Spike shoulders began to shake as the tears flowed down his cheeks.  
He couldn't hold it in, couldn't pretend to be the tough guy.  
  
"Why Spike? And 'I had no choice' will cut no ice with me either!"  
  
Spike sat up and pulled out his wallet, throwing it into Xander's lap.  
"I really didn't Xander," he began. "Go on, open it up."  
  
Xander picked up the wallet and undid the brass stud holding it  
closed. Inside was a selection of credit cards, business cards and  
cash. He looked at the Englishman confused.  
  
"In the pocket you bloody idiot!" Spike snapped.  
  
Xander opened the little pouch in the side of the leather wallet, a  
handful of small photos fell into his lap. He began to flick through  
the slowly. There was a picture of Spike and Buffy at prom, one of  
them all in Spikes car, one of the whole gang sat around a table at  
The Bronze. Xander continued to look through he photos till he came  
to the most recent picture. He held it in front of him, trying to  
make sense of what he saw.  
  
"That's why you had to leave?" He asked quietly. "You really had no  
choice did you."?  
  
The two men sat in silently on the curb staring into the night.  
  
To be continued...  
  
Many thanks again to my soooooper beta Mercy, you are a star!!!!  
Pleeeeze review, pretty please ;o) 


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14.  
  
"Do you want me to get that?" Willow shouted through to Faith in the kitchen.  
  
She didn't answer, she was dancing around the kitchen with her headphones on, making pancakes for Willow, Tara and Dawn.  
  
Willow decided to get the door, before the person on the other side banged a hole in it.  
  
"Oh hey Xander, Anya, come on in. Faith's in the kitchen cooking up some breakfast, you want some?"  
  
Xander shook his head and made his way to the sofa. He took a quick look around the living room.  
  
"The Buffster not alive yet I take it?" he questioned.  
  
Dawn shook her head. He wasn't surprised, she was in a hell of a state when he and Anya had dropped her off the previous night. It had taken five minutes to get her up the stairs, as she insisted on sitting down every other step for a rest. In the end Xander had put her over his shoulder, and carried her the rest of the way fireman style. She was asleep before they even reached the front door.  
  
Faith returned from the kitchen, with a plate of pancakes in one hand, and syrup in the other.  
  
"Tuck in guys, this is a Faith special!" she grinned.  
  
"What's so special about them?" Anya quizzed. They looked like ordinary pancakes to her.  
  
"It's special because I cooked them, that what's special babe!" Dawn giggled on the sofa, it was true, Faith wasn't generally found anywhere near the vicinity of the cooker.  
  
Xander decided he would be the first to broach the subject. "So anyone have a chance to speak to her about last night? I mean she was kind of out of it!"  
  
Before anyone had a chance to answer, a very ill looking Buffy staggered into the room.  
  
"It's alive!" Faith shrieked, "At least it's moving, that must mean its alive, right!" she joked.  
  
"Ow ow ow, volume down a touch please!" Buffy whined, holding her head and screwing up her eyes.  
  
Willow scooted up on the sofa to make a space for the weary blonde.  
  
"How you feeling Buffy?" she asked.  
  
Buffy leant back into the sofa, pulling her knees up to her chest.  
  
"Just fabulous," she whispered. "Assuming I don't move, think or, ow, speak." She rested her head on her knees.  
  
"And I think I broke my ass? Did I break my ass last night?"  
  
The redhead couldn't help but giggle. "Well you kinda fell over once or twice...and some. Possibly more?"  
  
Buffy groaned.  
  
"But it was a kinda subtle falling over, I don't think anyone noticed, honest!" Willow was a terrible liar, Buffy groaned again trying to remember.  
  
Faith scooped a couple of pancakes onto a plate and waved them under Buffy's nose. "Want some Breakfast Buff?" She didn't get the sentence out before Buffy was running towards the bathroom, a very ill shade of green. Faith turned up the stereo to drown out the heaving sounds, coming from the bathroom.  
  
"Shouldn't someone check on her?" Anya asked.  
  
Dawn jumped up and ran to the bathroom, to look after her nauseated sister.  
  
Xander turned his attention back to Faith.  
  
"So Faith. How do you think it's gonna go tomorrow?" he quizzed.  
  
"How do you mean?" She replied with a mouth full of pancake.  
  
Xander knew he was going to have to tread carefully here. "Well I mean the whole Buffy, you and Spike sharing the same oxygen thing? You guys are back at work tomorrow right?" He stated diplomatically.  
  
Faith nodded, swallowing her mouth full. "The way I see it he won't be breathing for long, not when I am through with him!" she stated firmly.  
  
Xander cringed inwardly, this is exactly the response he would have expected from Faith. She didn't mess about, if you hurt one of hers, then you get the full wrath of a 'pissed off' Faith.  
  
"Lack of oxygen will be the least of his worries, by the time I am done with that bastard!" She added, just in case anyone was in any doubt.  
  
Xander leant forward slightly in his chair. "The thing is Faith, we don't know what really happened. I mean he....he may have had his reasons, you know?" he stuttered.  
  
Faith crossed the room and knelt in front of the nervous man. "If your holding back Xander, and I find out. Spike won't be the only guy around here with an oxygen problem!" She spoke quietly and calmly, but there was a hint of menace in her voice. "What's the story?" She continued.  
  
"There's no story, he didn't tell me anything about why he left." He replied. It wasn't as if he was 'lying' he thought to himself, Spike hadn't actually said a word.  
  
"Cool!" she said as she jumped up. "In that case I am going to the store, we are out of beer."  
  
Xander flopped back into his seat and let out a groan. Pissing Faith off wasn't a good plan, ever! He knew someone had to tell Buffy, but he really thought that person should be Spike, or anyone else for that matter, anyone but him. Buffy was one of his best friends, he really didn't want to be the messenger on this one.  
  
Buffy re-emerged from the bathroom and slumped back onto the sofa. She didn't look too good, in fact it looked like she had a cat on her head, and last nights make up was still smeared down her face, but to be honest she didn't give a shit. She just wanted to curl up on the sofa with her friends, watch old movies and snuggle. That was her plan for the day.  
  
"Feeling better?" Willow gave her friend a hug.  
  
"A little, just keep those pancakes away from me!" She managed a faint smile.  
  
The group settled around the television. Dawn and Xander fought over what film to put on. The conversation was kept well away from the previous nights events. Willow and Tara were trying to repack their suitcase for the fourth time. Willow had decided seeing as they were in California for the whole Christmas break, she should probably show Tara a bit more than just Sunnydale, so they were heading off in the morning for a week travelling around. The redhead felt a little bad, leaving her friend in the midst of a personal disaster, but she knew Buffy too well. When things went wrong she preferred to deal alone, rather than be surrounded by people who were trying to say the right thing, and failing miserably. Willow knew there was no right thing to say here, so she and Tara were off to LA in the morning.  
  
The peace was shattered by Faith crashing through the door laden with bags.  
  
"Some help would be nice here Xanman!!!" she shouted from the doorway.  
  
The afternoon passed quietly and uneventfully and it was nearly five o'clock before Anya couldn't keep quiet anymore. She waited for Buffy to go to the kitchen before speaking up.  
  
"So what's the deal here? Are we all gonna pretend like she didn't say that stuff last night, because frankly I don't think that's healthy!"  
  
Xander shot her a look that would kill at 50 paces, it was too late.  
  
"Stuff, what stuff?" Buffy questioned.  
  
Willow jumped in to diffuse the situation. "It was nothing Buffy, you were a little drunk, I am sure he won't even remember."  
  
"I said what stuff? What did I say?" Silence fell around the room until Anya spoke up.  
  
" You said you were glad his parents were dead, glad he had the pain too. Or something like that, don't quote me." Xander kicked her hard on the shin. "Ow, What? She needs to know! She has to work with the guy tomorrow!" She stated the matter of the facts.  
  
Buffy slid down the wall where she was standing and put her head in her hands.  
  
"B! Don't sweat it, he totally deserved it!" Faith spoke firmly. "I am gonna kick his ass tomorrow, bastard!"  
  
"No!" Buffy whispered.  
  
Faith stood back surprised and observed the fragile woman sat in front of her.  
  
"What do you mean no? He so totally deserves it!"  
  
Buffy raised her head to face the furious girl.  
  
"I said no Faith! He didn't deserve that!! Anya's right, we all have to work together, there's no way round it and god knows I have tried to find a way with Wesley" she sighed loudly.  
  
"It's all in the past, all of it. If I can't deal with it, then where does that leave me! Before he came back I had all but moved on, so that's what I am going to do, move on!"  
  
Faith stared at the blonde in disbelief. "So you are just going to let him get away with it! Are you crazy?"  
  
Buffy knew she meant well, she was just looking out for her and she was grateful, even if she wasn't showing it.  
  
"Yes Faith, tomorrow I am going to apologise and we are going to make a new start, and that means you too!! I need you onboard Faith."  
  
The brunette shrugged her shoulders and nodded, "If thats how you want to handle it B, it's your call."  
  
Spike sat at the desk in his hotel room, scribbling wildly on the notebook in front of him. His hand was bandaged from the previous night's argument with a corrugated iron fence and it was awkward for him to hold the pen, but it was easier than trying to type on his keyboard. He had given up trying that hours ago.  
  
Xander had told him she hadn't meant those cruel words she had said to him, but Spike wasn't so sure. They were spoken with such venom, they cut straight through him. 'No she meant it alright,' he thought. 'Bloody bitch meant every word!!' he flung the notebook down and walked to the window.  
  
"If she war she's bloody well got it!" 


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15.  
  
Buffy and Faith finally strolled into work at 9.45am. It had taken a lot longer than they had imagined to get Willow and Tara organised and out of the apartment, leaving Buffy having to work on her 'apology' speech. As they walked into the reception area it was deserted, and the telephone was ringing.  
  
"Where the hell's Harmony?" Faith wondered.  
  
Buffy wandered over to the desk and picked up the ringing phone.  
  
"WP Publishing, Elizabeth Summers speaking, how may I direct your call?" She spoke politely.  
  
"Save it Summers!" Came the voice on the other end. "You and Faith get your pretty little asses in my office now!" He hung up.  
  
Buffy screwed her face into a frown and stared at the receiver before placing it back.  
  
"Oh happy day!" Buffy sighed. "Spike wants to see us now, he sounds kinda pissed!"  
  
Faith shrugged her shoulders. She was hardly surprised. Buffy seemed to have it in her head, that all it would take would be a quick apology and everything would be fine. In fact she was already acting as if everything was fine and she hadn't even got round to the whole apology bit yet!  
  
They pushed open the door to the office and as they did so Spike spun around in his chair to face them. Buffy stifled a giggle and tried not to look at Faith, who was doing the same. 'Who does he think he is? Dr Evil or something?' she thought. It was true, he did look rather comical, and in fact all that was missing was a white fluffy cat on his lap.  
  
"Nice of you two ladies to decide to join us today!" He started, looking at each of them in turn. The girls quickly realised that he wasn't putting this on, he was seriously mad. "Wes may have been all liberal with the time keeping, but whilst he's left me in charge I expect you to be here on time, every day, no excuses!" He slammed the pen he had been waving around down hard onto the desk, making Buffy jump.  
  
She approached the desk. "See there was this thing this morning, with Willow and Tara, and then another Dawn thing and."  
  
"No excuses Summers! I thought I just made that pretty clear."  
  
"We're really sorry sir," Faith said in possibly the least genuine tone of voice she could find Buffy shot her a glare. 'Oh nice one Faith, that's so not going to help,' she thought.  
  
Buffy decided in this case, the best form of defence was a counter attack. "I hope you are going to roast Harmony's ass when she gets in Spike! I mean it's a pretty poor show having an unmanned reception." She smiled smugly.  
  
"My thoughts exactly!" He replied as he stood up from his desk and walked to the filing cabinet, picking up a huge pile of paperwork. "However it wouldn't have been unmanned if you had been here on time. I have sent Harmony out with Tracy for the day."  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows and moved to sit on the edge of the desk. "You sent our only receptionist out for the day?" She said in an accusing tone. "And you think my management skills are rusty!" She snorted.  
  
Spike crossed the room to Faith, enormous pile of paperwork in hand. He dropped it in her lap and smirked. "This should keep you going for the day pet!" Faith looked at the paperwork, then back to her boss confused.  
  
"It's filing, you file it! Bleedin hell woman what do you actually do here? Go file!"  
  
Faith couldn't even speak, all she could think of was the lecture Buffy had been giving her the last 24hrs. 'Be nice, be polite, and under no circumstances punch him!'  
  
"Fantastic!" she groaned, and made her way back to her desk.  
  
"I don't believe you, Faith does not file!" Buffy snapped at the man before her. "She is a trained negotiator, she has a team below her, and she tells them to file asshole!" She stood up and stomped towards the door.  
  
"Summers! Where the hell do you think you are going?" He shouted as the tiny fuming blonde reached the door.  
  
She spun around trying to hide the anger in her face, but failed miserably. "I don't have time for power games today Spike! I have a meeting with James Devere in 20mins about his sequel. Some of us actually have jobs to do you know."  
  
He beat her to the door and pushed it closed. Leaning in close he whispered, "Actually I sent Harm and Tracy to do your wining and dining. Tracy is, as far as I can see very competent, and James has a thing for Harmony. I thought we would get a better deal with a change of tactics."  
  
"I need you covering on reception today." He continued trying hard to contain his enjoyment of the situation.  
  
'I will not punch him, I will not punch him' Buffy repeated the phrase over and over again in her head.  
  
"I'll get an agency receptionist to cover, it's no big." She recovered, flashing him a winning smile as she reached for the door handle.  
  
He leant forward and grabbed her by the wrist.  
  
"No actually you won't pet. You see, I think it's a valuable exercise for higher members of staff to reacquaint themselves, with the basics that make a company work. No one else on the team is causing a problem." Buffy could do nothing but stare at him, horrified.  
  
He let go of her wrist and as she left the office, he called after her.  
  
"Oh Buffy, make us a pot of coffee there's a sweetheart." He shut the door and returned to his chair, trying to keep the sound of his laughter down.  
  
Buffy stamped across the office towards reception, steam coming out of her ears. She stopped by Faith who was sitting on the floor by the filing cabinets surrounded by paper.  
  
"This is all muddled up, the bastard probably did it on purpose!" She complained. "I am just gonna file it all under E and go for coffee, you up for that B!" She grinned.  
  
"E?" Buffy questioned raising her eyebrows.  
  
"Yeah E for 'Eat shit asshole!' " She stood up sending papers flying everywhere, "Caffeine fix now!!"  
  
Buffy sighed and leant back against one of the cabinets. "I'd love to, but 'Mr I know everything' in his infinite wisdom, has decided I am to be 'reception girl' for the day."  
  
Faith looked at her friend mouth agape. "Oh please let me hurt him Buff!"  
  
"Hold that thought Faith, I gotta go make his Lordship coffee!" With that she headed towards the kitchen, Faith following on her heels.  
  
"Can I at least spit in it?"  
  
The two friends put a brave face on the situation for the rest of the morning. Buffy delivered Spike his coffee, resisting the temptation to throw it over him, and Faith ploughed through her filing. Finally it was time for lunch. As soon as the hands hit twelve on the office clock they were out the door, and down the street.  
  
"Aaaargh!" Buffy screamed in frustration. "I am so gonna kick his arrogant, conceited, pig headed ass I swear! I mean, reception, fucking reception! Who does he think he is? Sitting in my god damn chair, in my god damn office, dishing out orders like he's the.the boss or something! Asshole!"  
  
Faith held open the coffee shop door for the blonde, not daring to interrupt her mid flow.  
  
"You know what he said to me before lunch? He said it was character building! Fucking character building! Build this Spikey!" Buffy made an obscene gesture out of the window towards the office block.  
  
Faith couldn't help but fall about laughing. It had been a long time since she had seen Buffy this wound up about anything.  
  
"Well you know B, you just jump in there whenever you feel like giving him your big apology speech won't you!" She mocked.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes sat in a chair by the window.  
  
"Humph!" She snorted. "Apologise to that. that bastard! I think not. I must have been mad," she fumed.  
  
Faith took a bite from her pastry, dropping crumbs all down her front.  
  
"Changing the subject slightly Buff, what's he been doing in that office all morning?" Faith asked.  
  
Buffy took a big sip of her latte.  
  
"I have no idea," she replied. "He has been getting calls from some guy called Gunn, whoever that is? He is being all shifty about it, so I guess he is one more cog in the 'piss off Buffy' machine." She shrugged her shoulders. "To be honest I don't care. I just want today to be over!!" She put her head into her hands and sighed deeply.  
  
"I really thought I could do this Faith," she whispered, "but it keeps getting harder. I just don't know if I can make it through the day. Why is he making this so hard?" She sat up and wiped a tear from eye.  
  
Across the road Spike was snacking on a sandwich from the deli. He was really getting under her skin, he knew that. He had thought that it would make him feel a little better, a little happier to cause her some distress, to get her back for her hurtful comments, but Gunn'd had no news. He was now back somewhere between despair and torment.  
  
The day didn't get much better from then on.  
  
Buffy thought Faith was going to knock Spike out, when he deposited another unfeasible amount of filing on her desk. She had been busy sharpening some pencils at the time.  
  
"B, If I stab him through the heart with this pencil do you think we can pass it off a some freak office accident?" She asked, touching the sharpened point with the tip of her finger.  
  
"Yeah I can just see the headline Faith. 'Man trips over paperclip and impales himself on sharpened pencil' shocker! You never know, we may just get away with it! " She smiled evilly.  
  
She continued on her way to his office, with a pot of coffee in hand. As she entered the phone was ringing. Spike was on another call so she reached over and picked it up.  
  
"William Giles office. Can I help you?" She answered shooting a sickly sweet smile in Spike direction.  
  
"William, It's Mr Gunn...again! He say's he won't hold." Buffy waved the phone in his direction.  
  
He grabbed the phone out of her hand without so much as a thank you. "Charles, what have you got? Tell me its good news!"  
  
Buffy stood rearranging the flowers in the vase on the table. Spike put his hand over the receiver. "This is a private conversation! Get out!" He snapped, motioning for her to leave the room.  
  
She didn't even bother to reply. She turned and ran out, not even stopping to pick up her coat as she left the building. 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16.  
  
Buffy walked all the way home, wanting to get some of the stress out of her system, before she had to face people. It took her 45mins, so even though she had left the office early, Faith had beaten her home after taking her usual cab. She came in slamming the door behind her, and threw her keys on the table.  
  
"What happened to you B?" Faith asked concerned.  
  
She grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and twisted off the cap. Faith raised an eyebrow. Buffy rarely drank, and never on a work night. She figured Spike must have pissed her off pretty bad, to have her heading straight for the beer.  
  
"Just wanted to clear my head, that's all Faith," she mumbled before settling onto the sofa.  
  
"Well at least its all back to normal tomorrow huh!" The brunette joined her on the sofa. "I mean he got his little 'power trip' thing out of his system now, right!" She continued. "You wanna tell me what's on your mind Buff?"  
  
Buffy couldn't even get a word out. She began to cry, but she was totally inconsolable. Faith didn't know what to do, she put an arm around her friend but Buffy just shrugged it off.  
  
"Buffy? What the hell did he do now?" she asked.  
  
The blonde beside her just sobbed uncontrollably.  
  
"You wouldn't understand Faith. You never could!" Buffy whimpered.  
  
Faith took the bottle from Buffy's hand and took a swig. She handed it back to her, but Buffy shook her head.  
  
"Look Buff, I had a shit day too you know. I have been filing goddamn papers all freaking day! He didn't just pick on you!" She snapped. "I am not going to let it mess up my whole day though, you just got to get over it! It's only work."  
  
Buffy sat forward, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "You think this is about today?" She snorted. "You think I give a shit about his little mind games today! You have no idea!" She snapped back. "You will never understand what this is like for me Faith!"  
  
This conversation was frustrating Faith. She had taking crap all day from Spike, but she just let it wash over her like water off a ducks back. She wasn't going to stew about it all evening too.  
  
"Well maybe I might understand, if you explain it to me B!" she said running out of patience.  
  
"How can you understand? You have never loved anyone Faith! You never had anyone to lose, never lost anyone!" Buffy began, spitting the words out. "You go out, pick up guys, fuck them and leave them. You never let anyone get close to you, ever. Jeez if you go on 3 dates with a guy you are practically going steady. How can someone like you ever understand what it is like for me?? You don't even know how to love Faith, just how to screw, so tell me how you think you can possibly help?"  
  
As soon as she had said the words, Buffy wished she could take them back. She had never seen Faith look like that ever. The colour drained from her face, and a look of pure anger spread across her features.  
  
"Faith, Faith I'm sorry, I didn't mean." She shouted after her friend, but it was too late. Faith had grabbed her purse and was already out the door.  
  
Dawn poked her head around the living room door.  
  
"That was a low blow Buffy!" She said shaking her head, before following Faith out the door.  
  
Faith strode down the road at a fierce pace, she didn't know where she was going, and she just couldn't be around Buffy right now. She knew it was true, she didn't let people close to her, she thought out of all the people in the world Buffy would understand why.  
  
Her mother had raised her single handed until she was 2 years old, but then Faith was taken into care after her mother overdosed. 2 years later she was finally declared clean and fit to take her daughter back, but she had decided that she couldn't handle the responsibility of a young child. Faith had never seen her mother again, not that she wanted too. She had nothing but contempt for the woman that had abandoned her. She had been in and out of various foster homes and children's homes all her life, until Buffy had got her a job at WP Publishing, she could then afford to rent a small room by herself, where she stayed until she moved in with Buffy and Dawn, after Buffy's mother had passed away.  
  
Faith had always been wild, people politely called her a party girl, but in less kind circles she was described less flatteringly. She trusted no one but herself when it came to her heart. Buffy was right, she didn't know how to love. The only person she had ever loved was her mother, and she had abandoned her. Now she always kept people at arms length, that way they could never hurt her or never leave her. She used them to fill the empty space inside her, and then threw them away when she had taken what she wanted.  
  
Faith blinked back the tears that were welling in her eyes. She didn't cry. She was strong. She was tough. She was Faith.  
  
She couldn't believe how much the words of her friend had wounded her. There was a big hole forming inside of her. A big empty hole.  
  
'Only one way to fix this!' She thought as she pushed open the door to Willy's bar. 'Get drunk and get laid!'  
  
She slammed a handful of dollars onto the wooden bar.  
  
"Line em up Willy! I am partying tonight" She masked her hurt under her familiar 'party face' and knocked back a shot of bourbon.  
  
Buffy sat on the couch staring into space. 'Why am I doing this? Why am I pushing away everyone close to me??'  
  
She let the tears come again, but didn't bother to wipe them away this time, she let them run down her face and drip onto her knees, which she had pulled up close to her chest. What she had said to Faith was out of line, she knew that. The words were actually true, but she knew why Faith was the way she was. Life had dealt her a rough hand, and she just did what she did to be happy once in a while.  
  
Back in the bar, Faith had been eyeing up a guy sitting in one of the booths. He was about her age she figured, tall, cute. That was all she could make out in the dim light. He was sitting with a mousy looking girl, Faith assumed was his girlfriend, but when she was in this kind of mood nothing stopped her. She span around on her barstool, hanging on to the bar slightly to keep her balance. She had left the apartment before having any dinner, so the half bottle of bourbon she had worked her way through had gone straight to her head.  
  
She undid a few buttons on her blouse and tied it in a know revealing her flat toned stomach, then seductively applied a layer of red gloss to her lips, never taking her eyes from the guy in the booth. She dipped her finger into her drink and brought it to her mouth, sucking on it seductively. He kept catching her eye, but the girl with him was obviously less than impressed. Faith saw her kick him under the table more than once.  
  
"Charles, cut it out, we're not here for this!" The girl pleaded.  
  
The guy just looked back at her. "Hey Fred, I didn't see anywhere in our job description anything about not meeting with pretty girls!" He stated, looking back in Faith's direction.  
  
"Well she looks kinda trampy if you ask me," the girl replied, twisting one of her plaits and looking unimpressed. She returned to leafing through the folder in front of her.  
  
Faith wasn't one for waiting to be introduced, so she slid down off her stool and made her way towards the booth. She needed someone to fill the emptiness she felt inside.  
  
"Oh great, she's coming over!" Fred mumbled under her breath. "Get rid of her!"  
  
Faith sauntered in an 'almost' straight line towards the couple, and rested a hand on the table. She leant over towards the man giving him a good view down her top. Fred rolled her eyes.  
  
"So, this seat taken?" She asked him, sitting down before he had a chance to answer.  
  
"I'm Faith." She whispered into his ear. "You wanna have some fun baby!" She ran her fingers up and down his glass. The other hand was already on his thigh.  
  
"Faith, is it, nice to meet you really, but we are waiting for someone!" Fred snapped.  
  
The guy grabbed her hand before it could move any further up his leg, he didn't let it go, just held it gently.  
  
"You wanna slow down a bit there baby," he whispered into her ear.  
  
Faith pulled her hand away. It wasn't working, normally the chase was half the fun for her. The power she felt over them. Tonight she didn't have that feeling, she felt cheap. Buffy's words were ringing in her ears, 'You don't know how to love, only how to screw.' He must have seen the change in her expression. He spoke softly.  
  
"Hey you ok?" He pulled the hair back from her eyes. She was beautiful, but she looked so.broken.  
  
"Five by five!" She forced a smile back. "Look I got to go, I got people to see and stuff." With that she pushed up from the seat and walked back over to the bar.  
  
She sat back onto her stool and ordered another double from Willy behind the bar. She didn't understand what was wrong with her, why she was feeling this way. She was so engrossed in her thoughts, she didn't see Spike enter the bar. He headed straight for the couple in the booth and sat down.  
  
"Gunn, good to see you mate!" He shook the man's hand.  
  
"Long time no see! You look like shit man." He replied with a concerned look on his face.  
  
Spike ran his fingers through his hair. He had gone back to the hotel and changed since the office. He was now dressed in his trademark black jeans and a black t-shirt. His hair was still wet from the shower and was curling around the temples. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his fingernails were bitten to stumps.  
  
"I'm not sleeping so good Gunn," he replied. "You said you had something on the phone."  
  
He looked towards the girl who was holding a folder. She handed it to Spike.  
  
"This is Fred, my associate, she's been on this case since you called me, she's the best we got!" Gunn stated.  
  
Spike opened the folder and flicked through, his face lit up when he saw what was inside. He pulled out a photo and tears welled in his eyes, as he stroked the face in the picture.  
  
Fred spoke up, "That was taken last week, I got it from a CCTV feed. She's in LA Spike, or at least she was. I got a few leads to chase up. In fact we are heading back there tonight. Gunn said you would want to see this before we go."  
  
Spike nodded, unable to get actual words out. He thought he would never see her again, but she was here, here in America. Gunn called over the waitress and ordered a round of drinks, Spike clearly was in need of something.  
  
"Thanks, you don't know what it means to me, you doing this for me Gunn." He spoke gently.  
  
""Hey I owe you one bro, you know that. We will find her for you."  
  
Spike smiled gratefully. Fred stood up and walked across to the Ladies room.  
  
"Besides I get to meet lovely ladies along the way!" He moved his eyes to look back over at Faith at the bar.  
  
Spike sat back in his chair and let a smile pass from his lips. "Ah you have had the pleasure of Faith have you?" He looked knowingly.  
  
"You know her?" He asked as Spike gave Faith a wave. She turned her head back quickly and rested it on her hand.  
  
Spike looked back to his friend. "Faith, yeah I know her, she's a good girl," he replied, 'she hates me though' he added under his breath. Fred appeared at the side of the table.  
  
"We better hit the road Charles if we want to be in LA by morning." She said pulling at his arm.  
  
They gathered their things and after exchanging goodbyes headed for the exit. Spike sat back down into his booth, and looked at the business card Gunn had pressed into his hand. "Give her this," he whispered as Fred had dragged him from the bar.  
  
He stood and walked over to the bar. He put his hand on her shoulder and she spun her head round. She glared at him defensively, but he could still see her eyes were red from crying.  
  
"You wanna talk about it love?" he said gently handing her a full glass.  
  
She wanted to say no, wanted to tell him to fuck off and leave her alone. Instead she rested her head on his shoulder and let him comfort her. 


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17.  
  
Time passed slowly in the bar. Spike sat quietly listening to Faith as she told him the events of the evening. He just added a sympathetic nod every now and then, when she made eye contact with him, other than that he allowed her to get it all out of her system. It reminded him of when they were all at High School, Spike was always the listener, he was always the one the girls turned too when they had a problem, or just wanted to have a rant about boyfriends or friends. He had been like a big brother to Faith since they had met. He understood her like no one else, well no one else apart from Buffy of course. Spike couldn't remember a time when he had seen her so low. Faith was good at hiding what she really felt, keeping her emotions buried deep beneath her mask, in all the time he had know her he had never once seen her cry, and she had more reasons than most to do so.  
  
The conversation was interrupted as Willy approached them.  
  
"Come on you two, drink up!" He said as he picked up some empty glasses from the next table. "Don't you kids have homes to go to?"  
  
Faith snapped her head up, just looking at Spike for the first time in what seemed ages.  
  
"Yeah, I should get out of here," she mumbled as she stood up from her seat. She wobbled slightly, before slumping back into it. "Ok stop moving the room, dammit!" She slurred before attempting the manoeuvre again. Spike grabbed her arm this time to steady her.  
  
"My hero!" She drawled sarcastically.  
  
Spike put his arm around her waist and led her towards his car that was parked outside, leaning her against the wing he rummaged in his pockets for the keys. She slid slowly down the side of the car, until she was sitting in the road with her back against the cold metal. Spike opened the car door, and reached his hand down to pull the inebriated brunette up.  
  
"I am not getting into this heap of junk, so you can dream on asshole! I don't even know what I have been talking to you for! Not after what you have done!" She snapped.  
  
He ignored and pulled her up, pushing her into the passenger seat.  
  
"Three things Faith," he began, "one, this is not a heap of junk, it's a brand new BMW! Two, there is no way on earth I am letting you walk home in this state! And three whatever I may have done, I am always here for you if you need me! So sit there, and buckle up love."  
  
Faith clicked her seatbelt into place and gazed out the car window. It was true of course, it had felt so natural for her to tell Spike all her problems, it was just like it had used to be, just like past days. She had missed him so badly, but she would never admit that to Buffy, that would be like a betrayal and Buffy would never understand how she could still trust Spike with her secrets and feelings. She started to doze off to the gentle movement of the car, as it drove through the streets of Sunnydale. By the time they pulled up outside the apartment she was fast asleep. Spike shook her gently to wake her, she sat upright with a startled jerk.  
  
"We're home pet," he whispered. "Are you going to need some help getting up the stairs?"  
  
Faith shot him a glare, "I will be just fine thank you!"  
  
Spike watched as the brunette unsteadily walked towards the front entrance. He laughed quietly as he watched her trying in vain to fit the key into the door lock, and he could hear her talking to herself. "Stop moving the damn lock!" She slurred as she made another attempt.  
  
He turned off the engine and came up behind her, steadying her as she wobbled.  
  
"Here, let me try," he spoke gently as he took the keys from her hands, quickly finding the correct one and opening the door. "Come on, lets get you upstairs," he smiled.  
  
"Ok, but don't let Buffy see you. You were never here, we never saw each other tonight, right!" She said forcefully.  
  
"Right!" Spike agreed nodding his head. "I don't think I am on her Christmas card list at the moment."  
  
Faith thought he looked upset by this as he helped her walk unsteadily up to the fourth floor.  
  
"Ok, this is me," she whispered as she opened the front door, "looks like everyone is asleep."  
  
She stumbled as she walked into the hallway, Spike caught her before she could hit the floor. He decided it was safer and quieter if he helped her to her room.  
  
"Which one's yours?" He questioned, pointing at the doorways in front of them.  
  
"Straight along at the end, that's me," she slurred in reply.  
  
Spike bent down and picked her up, carrying her to her bedroom at the end of the hall. He opened the door with one hand and walked over to the bed, placing her down gently.  
  
"Can I get you anything before I go?" He spoke quietly so as not to disturb the sleeping housemates.  
  
Faith shook her head then changed her mind. "Can you fix me a hot chocolate?" She asked.  
  
Spike nodded and followed her directions to the kitchen. He had hardly made it there before she was sleeping soundly. Spike busied himself opening and closing cupboards quietly to find the ingredients he needed. He could here footsteps coming down the hall and figured Faith had come to help him out.  
  
"Faith! Faith is that you? Look I am so sorry." Buffy jumped back startled by who she found in her kitchen at 2am.  
  
"Spike! What the hell are you doing in my kitchen?" She looked confused.  
  
Spike decided the best thing to do was to come clean, there had already been enough lies.  
  
"I ran into Faith in town," he began, "she was pretty upset."  
  
Buffy looked at the floor, she felt dreadful about the things she had said to Faith earlier.  
  
"She was in a bit of a state so I drove her home, made sure she was safe, you know? She wanted a hot chocolate so here I am, in your kitchen." He shrugged his shoulders and looked a little awkward. He turned to look at her again, she looked so cute in her pyjamas, hair in plaits.  
  
"You want one? I think I boiled a bit too much milk up," he asked.  
  
Buffy nodded her head. It felt almost comfortable, him here in her kitchen.  
  
"I am just going to check on Faith quickly, I need to apologise," she said before ducking out of the kitchen and heading across the hall.  
  
She pushed open the door and poked her head around. Faith was dead to the world. Buffy walked over to the bed and undid Faith's boots, placing them neatly by the bed, she then slipped her out of her jacket and pulled a blanket over her. She stirred a little and half opened her eyes. Buffy leant in to her, "I am so sorry Faith," she whispered, and placed a kiss on the brunette's forehead. Faith smiled and slipped back to sleep.  
  
As she arrived back in the kitchen Spike was just pouring the chocolate into two mugs.  
  
"Here you go pet," he said handing her the mugs. "I better be heading off, early start and all that," he smiled slightly.  
  
Buffy handed one mug back to him. "She's asleep already," she replied, "you can have that one if you like. I know you are a big hot chocolate fan."  
  
She wandered into the living room and settled on the couch, Spike followed a few steps behind, he wasn't sure where he should sit, and was about to sit in the armchair in the corner when Buffy moved along the couch. He sat down beside her, it felt good to be close to her again, and he wanted to tell her. Before he had a chance the pretty blonde spoke up.  
  
"Was she, you know, ok?" she started, " I mean I was really out of line, I don't know what's wrong with me lately! She probably hates me right now huh?" She put her head in his hands.  
  
"She doesn't hate you pet, she's just having a hard time dealing with things, maybe you didn't see it because you are too close." He patted her reassuringly on the shoulder.  
  
"Sometimes it's like that," he continued, "and in any case if anybody is at fault it's me, if I hadn't wound you up all day, you wouldn't have flipped out."  
  
"Yes, well you were a complete asshole today!" she forced a half smile, "But I deserved it."  
  
Spike turned and faced her, she hated the way he could do this, the way he could just make everything ok with a look and a smile. She leant back into the couch and pulled up her legs and tucked them beneath her.  
  
"Spike, about what I said the other night, at The Bronze, about your mom and dad," she played with her hair awkwardly and found a really interesting piece of lint on the carpet to stare at. "I didn't mean that.I just want you to know."  
  
He interrupted her mid sentence and took hold of the hand that was currently twisting one of her plaits.  
  
"I know pet," he murmured.  
  
The touch of his hand on her, sent a tingle down her arm and through her body that she blushed, but he couldn't see in the darkness.  
  
"I was sorry to hear about you mum, she was a good lady. I really mean that Buffy."  
  
Buffy nodded, she new he was speaking the truth, he adored Joyce, and the feeling was mutual, he had been very much a part of the Summers' family.  
  
"What happened to your parents Spike??" Buffy looked at him and saw an expression of pure pain spread across his face.  
  
"You don't have to tell me, I'm sorry, I shouldn't pry," she quickly added thinking it must be too painful for him. They sat in silence for a minute or two, slowly drinking their chocolate. Spike broke the silence eventually.  
  
"It was a year ago," he began, "just before Christmas, I had moved back home with mum and dad. It had been a pretty awful year, I need some stability, you know, something normal." Buffy nodded, she knew exactly what he meant.  
  
"We had all been out for dinner and turned in for the night. I couldn't have been asleep more than two hours when I woke up, I could hardly breathe, the room was filling with smoke. I've never been that terrified in my life. I managed to get to mum and dads' room, they were both unconscious so I grabbed my mum and carried her out. The fire in the hallway was intense, that's how I got this."  
  
He pulled up his black t-shirt to reveal a long burn scar along his side. Buffy instinctively reached out and ran her fingers along it. She looked up at him, tears welling in her eyes.  
  
"I went back for my dad, but the heat was too intense, I couldn't get there, I couldn't save him." He choked on the words, barely whispering the last few.  
  
Buffy held his hand tightly and pulled him towards her. She held him as he quietly sobbed into her shoulder. Her heart was breaking for him, she didn't want to let him go.  
  
Ever.  
  
"You did what you could Spike." she whispered in his ear, "You did what you could."  
  
"It wasn't enough though was it? My dad died in the house, my mum, well it took three days in intensive care before she passed on."  
  
He leant back and pulled his cigarettes from his pocket, pulling one from the packet and lighting it. Buffy didn't normally let people smoke in the apartment, but she wasn't about to stop him.  
  
"Spike, I am so sorry, I can't imagine how it must have been for you." She kept hold of his hand and stroked it gently with her other hand.  
  
"Why did you come back here Spike? I don't understand, why Sunnydale?"  
  
Spike released her hand and shook his head, " I need to be somewhere familiar, somewhere I know, with people I know.. I can't explain really, I just knew I had to come back." He drained the rest of his chocolate from the cup. "Anyway I better head off, I hear the new boss is a stickler for timekeeping!" He forced out a smile.  
  
Buffy walked him to the front door, as she opened it for him, she stopped him before he could walk away. "Spike," she held his arm and pulled him closer, "Can we start again, forget all this shit and just start again, be friends?"  
  
He held her to him for a second before releasing her. "I would like that love, I really would." 


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18.  
  
Faith awoke to the distant sound of the television. Some chirpy woman was describing the weather for the day, in a far too enthusiastic manner. The brunette pulled her pillow over her head to muffle the noise. Buffy was in the kitchen making some coffee, she heard Faith groan loudly as she realised she was still fully clothed, and the events of the previous evening came back to haunt her. She appeared at Faith's door, cup of coffee in one hand and a glass of Alka Seltzer in the other.  
  
"I thought you could do with some of this!" She smiled meekly as she placed both by the side of Faith's bed.  
  
"Thanks B, you're a life saver!" She replied, voice a little croaky from sitting in a smoky bar all night.  
  
Buffy sat on the edge of her friend's bed, still racked with guilt about her behaviour the day before. She pulled her hand back through her hair.  
  
"Faith, about last night, look I am so sor.." She began.  
  
Faith jumped up from her bed interrupting the apology. "Don't sweat it B! Seriously it's no big deal. I just needed some time out last night that's all."  
  
She padded into the living room, stopping to pick up the mail from the table on the way. She flicked swiftly through the letters, her attention was grabbed by the sight of two empty mugs on the coffee table, and a lighter, Spike's lighter!  
  
'Shit, shit, shit!' She thought to herself, 'I am so dead!'  
  
Buffy sat down on the couch and sipped at her coffee, she picked the silver lighter up from the table and began to flick it open and closed, oblivious to the look of panic on Faith's face.  
  
"So, um, yeah guess who I bumped into last night?" She mumbled.  
  
Buffy turned to look at Faith and held up the lighter. "Would Spike be a wild but scarily accurate guess?" She replied.  
  
"Yeah, I must have, like, picked up his lighter or something, in the bar," she lied unconvincingly.  
  
Buffy smiled at her and decided to put her out of her misery.  
  
"No you didn't pick up his lighter, you did manage to pick up something else though. Spike asked me to give you this," she handed her a business card. Faith looked at the front.  
  
Charles Gunn Private Investigations.  
  
She flipped the card over, on the reverse was written 'Faith, call me xxx'.  
  
"Oh god!" She exclaimed, "And it's all coming back to me now! I hit on Spike's friend!" She slapped herself on the forehead and sunk down into the armchair.  
  
"Aaaaargh! What am I like! I didn't know he knew Spike honest B! I was just...Oh god! He must think I am such a tramp!"  
  
Buffy stood up and squeezed onto the chair next to Faith.  
  
"Actually Spike said he was kind of taken with you," she said as she gave her friend a big hug.  
  
"He did!" Her eyes lit up, and then realization dawned. "Hang on, Spike said that! You spoke to Spike!"  
  
Buffy nodded, "Yeah, we had a pretty good chat actually. He said you two got a lot out in the open as well, that's good you know. It's all good!"  
  
Faith noticed for the first time that Buffy was actually rivalling the weather girl on the television for early morning chirpiness.  
  
"So, it's ok. I mean you're not mad then," Faith searched her friends face for the answer.  
  
"No, it feels kinda nice actually." With that she bounced into the kitchen and put the washing up into the sink.  
  
The morning passed swiftly at WP Publications. Faith's hangover has completely dissipated and she was skipping around the office like a schoolgirl with a crush. Buffy meanwhile had spent the morning looking at Spike over the top of the manuscript she was supposed to be reading. She hadn't meant to, but the way her desk was positioned meant that, when the office door was open, which it had been all morning, she had a clear view. Every now and then she would peek over the papers, when he wasn't looking of course.  
  
It was coming up to twelve o'clock. Buffy was actually immersed in a chapter she was reading when she was approached from behind.  
  
"So Summer's, see anything you like?" He whispered in her ear. His breath was hot on her neck, and he seemed to linger there just a little too long. She became aware that she was holding her breath. Before she could turn around he had moved, and was now perched on the side of her desk, head cocked to one side, that familiar smirk on his face.  
  
"Yeah, this is a good read, definite potential," she replied waving the manuscript at him in a flustered manner.  
  
"Is that right!" He grinned back at her.  
  
Buffy pouted, she tried really hard not to, but it was almost an involuntary reaction when she was being teased.  
  
"You look a bit hot pet, everything ok?" he said softly, raising his eyebrow.  
  
"We still have to get the air conditioning fixed," she replied fanning herself with the manuscript. "Its hot in here today don't you think?" She continued, breaking eye contact to pretend to read a post it Faith had stuck to her monitor.  
  
He reached over and pulled the note off, examining it, then looked back to Buffy, "Yeah, very hot!"  
  
Spike had decided he'd had enough fun teasing the blonde for the moment, so decided to change the conversation.  
  
"Is Faith okay today then?" He asked looking up at where the brunette was sitting. "Has she given Gunn a call?"  
  
Buffy was glad at the topic change and relaxed back into her seat. She picked up her pen and began to fiddle with the cap, popping it on and off.  
  
"Whatever you said to her it really made an impact, she is, well she is different today, but your friend shouldn't expect a call anytime soon. I think its small steps for her, you know what I mean."  
  
Spike nodded, "Well so long as she knows she can come to me if she needs to talk," he said honestly. "You too love, I mean it, anytime." He touched her gently on her shoulder and held her gaze until she looked away.  
  
Spike jumped up from the desk, "right, well I got um things to do, so I'll leave you to it then," he made his way back to the office.  
  
Buffy's phone began to ring.  
  
"Elizabeth Summ..."  
  
"Yeah, yeah B! It's me. Lunch, now!"  
  
Buffy grabbed her purse and headed for the exit with Faith in tow. The lift doors had barely closed before Faith spoke up excitedly.  
  
"So, what was all that in there?" She quizzed, eyes wide.  
  
Buffy undid the clip in her hair and shook it out. "All what?" she replied in the most innocent voice she could muster.  
  
"You, Spike, all with the flirting!" The lift doors slid open.  
  
"Flirting, there was no flirting, absolutely no flirting of any description!" The two girls burst out into the street.  
  
Faith laughed loudly and pulled Buffy back. "Oh Spike, it's so hot in here!" She mimicked Buffy, and fluttered her eyelashes madly.  
  
Buffy snorted and started to cross the road heading towards the coffee shop.  
  
"Well its hot today! So what!" She snapped, "That doesn't mean I am all 'flirty Buffy'"  
  
"Yeah right!" Faith continued unconvinced, "Well its not just you, I have been watching you both today. All with the sneaky looks and the leaning all over each other!"  
  
Buffy pulled out a seat by the window and started to flick through the menu.  
  
"I know what you think Faith, but its not happening, I am so not going back there."  
  
Faith raised her eyebrows.  
  
"Yeah right B! Sure you're not!"  
  
Buffy finished giving her order to the waitress who had rudely interrupted their conversation.  
  
"Nope, been there, done that, never going back." She said decisively.  
  
Faith looked confused, and picked at the tablecloth.  
  
"Why not? I mean yeah you had the whole breaking your heart thing, but you both seem kinda happy today, you know. One little chat last night and already you are happy."  
  
Buffy grabbed her soda from the waitress and took a big sip. "You hit the nail on the head there Faith, with the' breaking my heart and leaving' thing. I can't go back now, can I?"  
  
"Buffy, I got a hell of a lot of good advice last night, the way I see it is, he screwed up bad, really bad, but he came back. That can't have been easy. Its obvious he still has feelings for you, and I am pretty sure you are the same. If neither of you cared then you wouldn't have hurt each other so much since he came back. Would you?"  
  
Buffy couldn't help but nod in agreement, Faith did have a point. If she didn't care anymore then why had he got under her skin so much, and why was she so happy just being around him today. "Well there you are then," Faith continued, "He left, but he came back didn't he, so why don't you try living in the now, and not in the past. Its good advice B! I am gonna take it."  
  
She reached for her purse and pulled out her cell phone and the business card Buffy had given her that morning.  
  
"I'll see you back at the office B, I got something I need to do. " 


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19.  
  
"Dawn! Dawn are you home?" Buffy shouted out as her and Faith pushed open the living room door.  
  
Buffy dropped her purse on the table and kicked off her shoes.  
  
"My feet are killing me, why did we think walking home was a good idea?" She continued sitting down and rubbing her sore toes.  
  
Faith picked up a note from the table and handed it to Buffy.  
  
"Looks like Dawn's out for the night again!" She said,  
  
Buffy read the note and threw it back onto the table. "Jeez that girl has a busier social life than me!"  
  
Faith nodded in agreement, Dawn had become quite the partygoer herself since starting college. She had a social life that easily rivalled Faiths, and a particularly sexy boyfriend that Buffy was yet to find out about. Dawn had confided in Faith a few weeks back, she often went to her for advice about boys and things. Dawn found it easier to talk to Faith, she didn't judge, whereas Buffy would fly into a blind panic if Dawn and sex were ever mentioned in the same sentence.  
  
"So what do you want to do tonight then?" Buffy asked. "We could go out if you like?"  
  
Faith shook her head, she was feeling a little tired after the previous night.  
  
"I vote for pizza and a night in front of the television," she offered.  
  
Buffy walked over to her friend and placed her hand on her forehead.  
  
"Are you feeling ok Faith?" She asked in mock concern. It was true, Faith was never one to turn down a night on the town.  
  
The brunette picked up the telephone and placed their order, then settled in front of the television and began to flick through the channels. She never really watched much television, she was normally out and about. She admitted defeat in the end and threw the remote control over to Buffy, who quickly selected a movie channel. Faiths' attention didn't take long to stray from the movie.  
  
"So B! I had an idea today, about Christmas." Buffy turned the volume down and put her feet up onto the coffee table.  
  
"I was thinking maybe this year we could, well, sort of have one." She smiled in a very bizarre way at Buffy.  
  
Buffy didn't quite know how to react. Christmas was a bit of a sore subject in their house, generally they didn't celebrate it at all, not since her mom had passed away. Faith was never one to celebrate Christmas. She had never actually had a family Christmas, she was always being pushed from pillar to post, and so she had avoided festivities since her childhood. Buffy had found dealing with this time of year difficult. It had never been discussed, it was just an unsaid agreement, and Christmas doesn't exist.  
  
Faith could see the confusion spread across Buffy's face, so she continued.  
  
"Well I was thinking I could get Xander to pick us up from work tomorrow, and we could go get a tree, and stuff like that. Then we could do a big Christmas Day dinner thing! I mean Willow and Tara are here and Wills is good with cooking and stuff, and she never does the Christmas thing either!" Faith beamed at her bemused friend.  
  
"Faith, Willow's Jewish!" She chuckled.  
  
Faith was not to be deterred. "Well yeah, but apart from that I know she would like it! And Xander could bring Anya, and Dawn, well she hasn't had a Christmas for years, it would be good for her. We could have a sleepover the night before, and have a nice proper family day after. It would be good, don't you think?"  
  
It would be good, Buffy couldn't help but agree.  
  
"So what do you think Buff, it could be like old times, all of us together making with the merry!" She wriggled her eyebrows in a mischievous manner.  
  
"I think it's a great idea Faith, and you're right it would be nice for Dawn to have a family Christmas. In fact it would be nice for all of us." She smiled and went to open the door, which was being pounded on by the delivery door.  
  
She returned a few minutes later and placed the boxes down on the table.  
  
Tucking into a slice Faith finished a mouthful then spoke up. "Maybe we should invite Spike? I mean we are making new starts here, so maybe he should come over too. I am guessing he doesn't have any plans seeing as he is here alone, it might be nice if we invited him back in."  
  
Buffy had suspected she was going down this road, but strangely she didn't find the thought of spending the day with Spike offensive at all. In fact she agreed with Faith, Spike should be there too, all the gang back together.  
  
"I think you're right Faith, although when did you get so insightful!" She laughed.  
  
Faith shrugged her shoulders, "Hey I had a wake up call B! What can I say, I realised there are other ways to fill the empty holes inside me. I always held on to the fact that I have no family, I was letting it destroy me, but I do, I have you guys, and that's all I need."  
  
Buffy stroked her hair gently. "You always have us Faith," she whispered.  
  
Faith jumped up from the chair. "Okay, enough of the sappiness! I got a reputation here!" She laughed, wiping a stray tear from her cheek.  
  
She took hold of her glass and raised it.  
  
"I think we should have a toast here. To moving on!"  
  
"To moving on!" Buffy clinked her glass on Faith's and they turned their attention back to the television. 


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20.  
  
Buffy sat at her desk staring at the manuscripts in front of her. She had decided that she would get everything up to date, before they closed up for Christmas, but that was only 3 days away now. She looked at her clock, 'make that two and a half days!" she groaned. Plucking one at random she relaxed in her chair and began to skim through the pages. She was interrupted as Faith bounced over and sat on her desk, pulling the manuscript from Buffy's hand.  
  
"Right B! I called the Xanman and he's picking us up downstairs at five," she beamed.  
  
Buffy sighed, "I am swamped Faith, I am gonna have to work late tonight to get through this lot, you don't mind if I sit out the decorating?"  
  
Faith looked disappointed, but then looked at the paperwork piled all over the stressed blondes desk.  
  
"No problem Buff, as long as you understand that means me, Dawn and Anya have full decorating licence!" She laughed mischievously.  
  
"Go for your life Faith, just no inflatable reindeer, please I beg you!" She put her hands together in a mock pleading manner.  
  
Faith face lit up, "Inflatable reindeer! They do those???" She turned and wandered back to her desk. Buffy rolled her eyes, 'please no inflatable reindeer!'  
  
Five o'clock came and went, and soon it was just Buffy and Spike left in the office. They had hardly spoken all day, apart from a couple of conference calls, and last minute problems on an authors deal.  
  
"You didn't go off with Faith then pet?" He asked as she came into his office and deposited the latest batch of papers.  
  
She sat down into the chair and rested her head on the desk for a second.  
  
"Nope, got too much to tie up before Friday, I think my head is about to explode!" She sat up and rubbed her forehead. "I was going to go, but I think Faith has enough enthusiasm for everyone at the moment!"  
  
Spike nodded, "She certainly seems to be making some serious progress huh! Next thing we know she will be baking cookies or something."  
  
Buffy laughed as she stood up and collected the last batch of paperwork from Spike's desk. "I don't think that will ever be an issue, Faith and cooking are a scary combination, don't you remember the exploding macaroni fiasco!"  
  
"How could I forget?" He replied, before standing up and walking towards her. He reached down and took the papers from her hand, taking half and giving her the remainder back.  
  
"Let me help with this," he said softly, "that way at least we will get out of here before eleven."  
  
She smiled, actually quite relieved at the offer. Her eyes were starting to blur from staring at print all day.  
  
Four hours, and several cups of coffee later they were finally finished. Buffy put her feet up on the couch in the office and rested her head back on the armrest, closing her eyes for a moment.  
  
"Come on pet, I'll give you a lift back." He said grabbing his keys from the desk.  
  
Buffy groaned, "Just let me quietly die here please Spike!!" she said before closing her eyes again. Her stomach made an extremely loud grumbling voice.  
  
"No way, come on, we can stop for food on the way if you like?" He said helpfully, whilst pulling the reluctant blonde into a sitting position. Her head banged into his stomach and she became aware that she was dangerously close to a part of his anatomy she certainly shouldn't be!  
  
She jumped up flushed and slightly embarrassed.  
  
"No need Spike, but thanks for the offer. Dawnie called and she made some pasta earlier. You can come back for a reheat if you like?" She smiled.  
  
Spike grinned and wiggled his eyebrows in a way only he and Faith could do.  
  
"A reheat hey! That's my girl!"  
  
Buffy lead the way out, 'Did he just call me his girl? Breathe Buffy breathe!'  
  
Twenty minutes later they pulled up outside Buffy's apartment. Spike looked out of the window towards the fourth floor.  
  
"It looks dark up there, I thought they would still be in full decorating swing!" He said surprised.  
  
Buffy didn't look surprised, "Knowing Faith they are probably in a forest in the middle of nowhere chopping down some poor tree!" She exclaimed.  
  
They slowly wandered up the stairs, and Buffy cursed the day she chose this apartment over the other equally nice one that had a lift.  
  
"These stairs will be the death of me!" She moaned as they rounded the final flight.  
  
Spike turned the corner first and stopped dead, causing Buffy to slam into the back of him.  
  
"Sweet mother of god!" She cried as she looked up. "I am gonna kill them!"  
  
She put the key in the lock, making sure not to dislodge the enormous plastic Santa Claus and garish tinsel pinned all over the door.  
  
All the lights in the apartment were off and it was completely silent. Spike steadied her as she reached for the light switch.  
  
"I think it's fair to say Santa Claus is coming to bloody town pet!" he exclaimed as the full extent of the evenings work became apparent.  
  
Buffy wondered how the hell they had managed to get quite such a big tree up the stairs at all. It took up a quarter of the room, and was covered with the tackiest of all tacky decorations. Buffy couldn't control her laughter when she saw someone had stuck a Malibu Barbie on the top for the angel! She gazed around the room. Above the fireplace there were eight stockings, and somebody had glued felt letters onto them. She read them across. Buffy, Dawn, Faith, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya and Spike. She felt a smile spread across her face. Spike, who had gone to the bathroom, burst back in.  
  
"Buffy, there's a bleedin inflatable reindeer in your bath!" He exclaimed, before looking at the stockings.  
  
"I meant to ask earlier Spike. Do you want to spend Christmas with us?"  
  
He couldn't hold back the happiness, and Buffy was sure she saw a tear in his eye.  
  
"You have no idea what that would mean to me Buffy, really you don't. The last few Christmases have been pretty rough. Thank you." He pulled her towards him and placed a kiss gently on her forehead.  
  
"This was pinned on your door," he handed her a sheet of paper covered in glitter.  
  
'Buffy, gone to The Bronze for a post decorating celebration. Come join us when you get home (if you like!!!) Big kisses Faith, Dawn, Xan and Anya xxxxxx PS don't do anything I wouldn't do!!!!!'  
  
She tossed the note onto the side.  
  
"If you want to go I can drop you off if you like?" He asked.  
  
Buffy shook her head and picked her way through 'Santa's grotto' to the kitchen. Half expecting a deranged elf to jump out at any moment.  
  
"That would be a big no, I am kinda beat. You want some food?" She asked as she poked a spoon into Dawn's earlier culinary experiment. "She said that's pasta! You think we can get her under some trade description act or something?" She said screwing up her face.  
  
Spike came up behind her and took the spoon from her hand, prodding at the offending congealed lump in the pan. She could feel him pressing into her back and it sent a shiver up her back. He pulled away.  
  
"Are you ok?" He asked, genuinely concerned. He took hold of a strand of long blonde hair that had fallen in front of her face, and replaced it behind her ear, gently stroking her cheek on the way.  
  
She said nothing, just leaning her head on his chest and allowing his hands to fall around her back. He pulled her closer and rested his forehead on her, breathing her in as he did, taking in the scent of her freshly washed hair. They stood there for what seemed like an age, Buffy's hands slid around his back, holding him tightly. It felt so good, so real, and so...... right.  
  
Buffy broke away and pushed him against the wall of the kitchen hard, causing one of the pictures to fall to the floor shattering glass at their feet.  
  
"Shit Buffy, I am sorry.."  
  
She cut him off pushing her finger against his lips. His eyes searched her face, confused by what was happening. He didn't know what she wanted. He didn't want to mess up now.  
  
Buffy took her finger from his lips and slowly ran it along his cheekbones. She didn't know what she was doing, this was so 'not Buffy', but it felt so right. All she could here was Faith, 'He left, but he came back, he came back for you!'  
  
Spike could see the scared look in her eyes.  
  
"Buffy, we need to talk. There are things you need to know about where I have been."  
  
Buffy pulled her finger back up to his lips and pressed it hard.  
  
"No! No talking, it doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is now!"  
  
She pulled away her fingers and crushed her lips onto his, moving her hands up into his hair to pull him deeper into the kiss. Her tongue invaded his mouth, and he didn't resist. He moaned as she pressed her body onto him.  
  
He pushed her back across the kitchen slamming her against counter opposite. He leant down and lifted her up onto the side, standing between her legs and pulling her back into another embrace, never breaking their kiss.  
  
Buffy pulled her lips from his and ran them down his neck, nipping gently along the way. She could feel him, feel his passion, he wanted this as much as her. Faith was right, you can live in the past all you like, but all that really matters is here and now, that is where you can change your future. You can't go back and change the past, but you can take your chances when they come.  
  
This was it, this was her second chance. 


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21.  
  
Buffy awoke as the suns rays began to penetrate her bedroom. She was facing away from him and his right arm was draped protectively around her waist. He felt her stir and kissed her gently on the shoulder.  
  
"Sleeping beauty awakes," he whispered softly in her ear.  
  
Buffy couldn't stop the smile spreading across her face, as she remembered the events of the evening.  
  
"Mmmm," she murmured sleepily, and she twisted around so she was now facing him, resting her head on his chest. "This is nice."  
  
Spike placed a light kiss on her forehead and wrapped his arms around the sleepy blonde. He stroked her hair as she drifted back to sleep. 'It's more than nice,' he thought, 'It's perfect.' He lay awake watching her sleep, feeling her warm breath on his chest, holding her close to his body. The silence was shattered as Faith came crashing into the bedroom.  
  
"B! Have you seen my black pants?" She screeched as she threw the door open.  
  
Spike reached down and pulled the sheet up to cover them a little.  
  
"I left them in the wash basket and....oh...oh leaving now!"  
  
She quickly shut the door and leant her back against it, big grin all over her face. She decided to start on some breakfast, so began to make her way to the kitchen. Dawn came out of the bathroom opposite and ran into her, almost sending the two girls tumbling to the floor with Faith collapsing into the giggles.  
  
"Um Faith, are you ok?" She asked bemused, before bouncing into Buffy's bedroom.  
  
"Buffy you want a coff..." she began before coming face to face with an almost naked Spike.  
  
"Bloody hell, doesn't anyone knock in this house?" He exclaimed.  
  
Blushing, she quickly closed the door and glared at Faith.  
  
"You could have told me!" She squealed at the brunette who was cackling hysterically in front of her.  
  
Faith nodded, trying to control her laughter. "Yeah I could, but then I would have missed this quality moment!"  
  
Spike groaned as he lay back down.  
  
"I'd forgotten what living with a load of birds was like!" He complained.  
  
Buffy pulled him towards her and captured his lips in a long lingering kiss. She ran one hand slowly up his thigh, as she curled the fingers of her other hand in his hair. She looked at him mischievously. "It's not so bad is it?" She whispered seductively as she grasped him in her left hand. He gasped as she began to work him gently.  
  
"It certainly has its plus points," he smirked before he put his arms around her and flipped her onto her back. He knew she loved it when he was in control. Buffy stared up into his crystal blue eyes, totally absorbed. He had taken her hands and was now holding them above her head, as he pressed his lips onto hers with such force she could hardly breathe. The weight of his body on top of hers, was crushing her into the bed, but she didn't care. She had died and gone to heaven, 'who needs to breathe anyway?' She thought. She was so entranced by him, she didn't even notice he had released her hands, and was now running his own down along her side. He ran one softly over her breast, gently flicking the nipple with his thumb, causing her to arch her back into him. Buffy could feel him pressing into her, she wanted him, and desperately needed him. He was teasing her thoroughly, making her wait, and revelling in her pleasure and desire.  
  
"Spike, I need you! I want you now!" She moaned as her ran his other hand up her thigh and across her heat. She could feel his erection grinding into her thigh and it was almost more than she could bear.  
  
"Not yet baby," he whispered as he ran his tongue along her jaw line and down to her collarbone, gently nipping at her with his teeth, as she writhed beneath him. Her skin was hot and flushed and her breathing laboured, as he pushed himself on top of her, crushing her body with his. He didn't know how long he would last, she already had him so worked up, he was on the verge of losing control and she had barely touched him. Just being around her made him feel things he hadn't felt in years, feelings, emotions, memories that had been locked away in his mind for so long. He never thought he would be with her again, not like this.  
  
"Spike, please!" She pleaded.  
  
He couldn't fight it any longer and in one long stroke he was deep inside her. She cried out as he entered her, and Spike pulled her back into a passionate kiss, tongues battling against each other, as he moved inside her.  
  
Dawn turned the television up.  
  
"Oh my god! Are they boinking?" She exclaimed.  
  
Faith smiled and took a sip of her morning coffee, extra strong to kick start the day.  
  
"No Dawn, they are playing chequers!" She replied sarcastically rolling her eyes. The sound of something crashing to the floor came from the bedroom, 'there goes the bed side cabinet' Faith thought, 'good girl, I always knew she had it in her'.  
  
Dawn picked at her breakfast. "It's like eight am! I am eating my breakfast and listening to my sister boink her mortal enemy, I am so scarred for life!" She squealed before turning the volume on the television up even more. Faith laughed, "Give the girl a break Dawn, it's been a long time, she needs a good seeing to if you know what I mean!" She wiggled raunchily in the armchair.  
  
Dawn looked at her disgusted, "Oh my god Faith, that's gross!" She exclaimed.  
  
"What's the big deal Dawnie, I mean it's not like you are exactly the vestal virgin is it?"  
  
Dawn glared back at the brunette. "That is so not the point!" She was interrupted as the sound from the television, was pierced by Buffy's voice  
  
"Oh god Spike! Don't stop! Please!" Followed by Spike slamming her hard against the bedroom door. The noise of them both coming together clearly sounding throughout the whole apartment.  
  
"And I don't force her to listen to me!" She picked up her cereal bowl and stomped to her bedroom.  
  
The two lovers slid slowly to the floor and Spike pulled Buffy into a soft embrace, gently nuzzling her neck. Buffy looked up and surveyed the wreckage that was her bedroom.  
  
"Oops, looks like we missed the bed again!" She giggled before resting her head on his chest again. She jerked her head up.  
  
"You don't think anyone heard us do you?" She said in a flustered manner. Spike looked at her and raised his eyebrows.  
  
"No pet, you were quiet as a mouse," he lied before pulling her back in towards him.  
  
He ran his fingers lightly up her back, caressing her skin. He couldn't touch her without feeling it, feeling the currents of electricity coming off them. It was just like it had always been before, they were right, they fitted.  
  
He rested his forehead on hers.  
  
"I've missed you so much, more than you can ever know." He whispered, trying to stop the words catching in his throat.  
  
Buffy stroked his hair, "I know," she began, "I know because it was the same for me." She pulled his head up so she was looking into her eyes. "But now we don't have to miss each other any more, ever." 


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22.  
  
"So, I should head back to the hotel and get showered and changed before work." Spike grinned at her. "Unless I shower here of course!" He grabbed her and swung her round, pulling the diminutive blonde in tight close to his body.  
  
Buffy grinned back and pushed him away. "No, not today, we both know where that will end up! And we can't be late can we, especially after your big time keeping speech!"  
  
She fastened the last button on his shirt and straightened his hair.  
  
"There, your good to go," she smiled pecking him on the cheek. "I'll see you in the office."  
  
Spike looked her up and down and licked his lips. "Or maybe I'll be seeing you in the office, hey pet!"  
  
Buffy blushed and pushed him out the bedroom door, closing it behind him. She looked at herself in the mirror as she passed it, she looked alive for the first time in ages. She left it five minutes then made her way to the bathroom, turning on the shower until the water ran hot. She stood and let it wash over her, almost disappointed that she had to wash his scent off her, gently she let the bubbles run over her as she relived the events. She could feel his hands running all over her body, creating little sparks wherever they touched. His lips on hers, hard and passionate, his body crushing her and taking her to places she hadn't been in so long. She stepped out of the shower smiling and pulled on her robe, making her way to the bedroom to prepare for the day. It was going to be good, she could feel it.  
  
By the time Buffy had actually managed to get ready, she was already late. Faith had hung back desperate to get the gossip, but Buffy was being pretty tight lipped. She stuck her hand up, as they stood on the sidewalk to hail a passing taxi. Faith had figured being late today wasn't going to be so much of a big deal, what with her two superiors being all 'loved up.' Finally a taxi pulled over and the two girls climbed in.  
  
"So B! What's the deal then?" She enquired.  
  
Buffy looked out of the window at the passing traffic. She didn't want to jinx things by telling people before they had even worked out what they were doing themselves. All she knew is that it felt good, she felt good.  
  
"Spike stayed the night," she replied, before returning her eyes to look out of the window.  
  
Faith pulled her back around and raised her eyebrows.  
  
"Um yeah, kinda gathered that much, what with the whole 'naked in bed' and 'monkey sex' noises!" She began. "I meant, what happens now? What's the deal with you two?" Buffy blushed wildly.  
  
"You.you heard the, um sex noises?" She said meekly.  
  
Faith laughed and flicked her hair. "Honey, Willow called from LA, they could hear you from there!"  
  
Buffy put her head in her hands embarrassed, "Oh, um is Dawnie, you know, ok?"  
  
Faith patted her friend on the shoulder reassuringly. "The emotional scarring will be short lived B! Don't fret."  
  
"It just kind of happened, it was an accident, but, well it was a good accident, you know?" She looked to her friend. "I just thought about what you said yesterday, about the past, I didn't want to lose him again."  
  
Faith looked to her friend concerned. "So you slept with him, so you wouldn't lose him?" She questioned.  
  
The blonde jumped in, "No, no, not at all. It wasn't like that, it felt right, we both wanted it. It was like.it was like he never left." She pulled her hair into a bunch and clipped it at the back. Faith smiled, she was happy for the blonde, her and Spike were meant to be, she was sure of that.  
  
Buffy wasn't able to concentrate all day, she was glad that she and Spike had worked so late the day before, because she wasn't going to get much work done today, that was for sure. She was busy tying up some loose ends before the Christmas break, when Spike came and settled himself on the corner of her desk. They had agreed to keep business and pleasure strictly separate, and had struggled to keep away from each other all morning, worried that the rest of the office contingent would see what was happening. No one had of course, they were all oblivious, apart from Faith, who was now watching with interest.  
  
Spike flicked through some papers in Buffy's in tray.  
  
"So, you fancy grabbing some lunch pet?" He asked casually, not even looking at her.  
  
Buffy smiled as she finished stapling a report together, he looked so vulnerable.  
  
"Well I usually lunch with Faith.." She began, as she looked up to see Faith jumping up and down mouthing 'go, go, go!'  
  
"But, it looks like she is kind of busy, so yeah, cool, lets go."  
  
She grabbed her purse and followed him out.  
  
Faith and Buffy normally lunched in the coffee shop across the road, but Spike had other plans. He popped in and grabbed a couple of sandwiches and two lattes, handing her the former as he led her down the road. They finally stopped at the little park they used to hang in when they were kids. Spike sat down on a swing and started to bite into his sandwich.  
  
Buffy was the first to speak.  
  
"I haven't been here in ages," she said as she started to swing gently, "it's a bit of a blast from the past!" She exclaimed remembering all the good times they had spent there.  
  
"Buffy.." He began, a serious look on his face. Buffy could always tell when he was being serious, his brow furrowed and his jaw almost twitched.  
  
"Buffy, I need to tell you why I left," he continued.  
  
She leant over and stroked his face, she just wanted to feel him. It didn't matter anymore, nothing he could say would change that.  
  
"It doesn't matter baby," she whispered, "that's all over with now, it's in the past." She gently kissed his lips. Suddenly she realised he was shaking in her embrace, his whole body shuddered as he sobbed into her shoulder. She lifted his head and saw the tears running down his face, lifting a finger she wiped it across his cheek, smoothing away the tears.  
  
"Buffy, you are my everything," he sobbed, "Everything I ever wanted, ever needed. I need you to know that."  
  
She fought back her own emotions and whispered, "And you're mine."  
  
She held him as he let everything out, stroking his back as his sobs echoed around the playground. Finally he calmed down, wiping his face as he looked at her.  
  
"It matters Buffy! It matters because I can't just forget it." Pulling his wallet out of his pocket, he opened the clip fastener on the little pocket, and retrieved the photographs within. He flicked through until he reached the most recent, the one he had shown Xander days earlier. Slowly he handed it to the confused blonde. Buffy took the photograph and examined it for what seemed like an eternity. Spike just waited, waited for a response, a punch, anything, but she sat silently.  
  
Eventually he broke the silence.  
  
"Her name's Molly," he began, Buffy didn't respond.  
  
"That was taken at her birthday last year," he continued, "she had a fancy dress party, she was a princess." His voice cracked on the last words and his head fell into his hands.  
  
"It's the last time I saw her, she took her the next day," he couldn't get the words out.  
  
Still she sat in silence, staring at the picture in her hand. A pretty dark haired girl, piercing blue eyes, hair falling in ringlets down to her waist. She was dressed in a frilly pink dress, with a sparkly tiara. She was smiling and he was hugging her. Buffy ran her fingers across the picture.  
  
"How old is she?" She asked.  
  
Spike took her hand and held it tightly, stroking her cheek with the other.  
  
"Buffy, I love you," he whispered as he leant forward to kiss her. She knew he meant it, she could tell, but her stomach was in knots, her head was pounding and she felt as if someone had just punched her in the gut.  
  
"How old is she Spike?" She repeated.  
  
"Five," he began, "Five last September." He looked to the ground.  
  
That was enough, she felt as if she was going to die on the spot, like all the life had just been kicked back out of her. She stood up and picked up her purse, fighting the tears that would betray her feelings.  
  
"I have to go," she said as she handed him the picture and began to walk away.  
  
"Buffy wait, please, I need to explain!" He called after her.  
  
But she couldn't wait, she had to leave, now!  
  
"I have to go, I can't hear this now," she whispered as she turned and walked away, leaving him sitting on the swing alone. 


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23.  
  
"Hey Spike!" Faith said cheerily as she poked her head round the office door. "Have you seen Buff? I want her to read over some of this stuff before I send it out."  
  
Spike looked up from his desk briefly, making sure not to catch her eye. His eyes were still red and sore, and he wanted to avoid any awkward questions. In fact the office was really the last place he wanted to be at this exact moment, but as Buffy had disappeared following their chat, he couldn't exactly leave the place as well. He couldn't blame her of course, he was an idiot to think she would ever understand, he had just hoped that someway and somehow she might have been able to forgive him.  
  
"Leave it on the desk Faith," he replied, "I'll take a look at it." His voice was low and monotone as he tried to disguise his distress.  
  
"Um Ok, if proof reading my letters rocks your boat then you go for it honey!" Faith grinned at him. "Where's B anyhow? Have you sent her out on an errand?" She asked.  
  
Spike ran his fingers back through his hair and shook his head. "Just leave it there Faith!" He pointed to a spot on the desk and returned to the paper he was reading. Faith didn't move, she stood staring at the guy in front of her who was trying so hard to ignore her.  
  
"Is there something else, because I am kinda busy here love!" He snapped, agitated that she refused to leave him in peace.  
  
Faith pulled the chair in front of the desk out and sat down, silently staring at him. Spike sighed, 'she never can just let it drop can she'. He looked up.  
  
"What?" He asked.  
  
"That's kinda what I was wondering," she answered, determined to get to the bottom of whatever he was hiding. Spike was a terrible liar, his jaw twitched and he couldn't look her in the eye.  
  
"What did you do now?"  
  
Spike threw his paper down frustrated, he so did not want to have this conversation right now, but Faith was like a pit bull, when she got a sniff of something, she never let go.  
  
"She's gone home, why don't you call her there, or on her cell phone, I am sure she can't wait to tell you all about it!" He snapped.  
  
Faith kicked her shoes off and put her feet up on the desk, making herself comfortable.  
  
"Bloody hell woman, just leave me alone won't you!"  
  
"Well that would be a no, her cell is off, and I asked Dawn to call me if she came in, and she hasn't, so that just leaves you. Back to my question then, what the hell have you done now?"  
  
It was obvious something had happened, Buffy hadn't returned from lunch, and Spike had come back in a mother of all moods, snapping at anyone that came near him. Faith stood up and walked over to the door, shutting it, before taking her seat again.  
  
"Spill Spike, what's the story?"  
  
Spike sat forward in his chair and leant his head in his hands, before drawing a deep intake of breath.  
  
"I fucked up Faith, that's what happened!! I fucked everything up!!" He sighed.  
  
Faith was looking more and more confused by the minute. "Yeah I guessed that," she replied, "but I don't understand how you can screw up in a hour long lunch break, that has to be a record even for you!"  
  
Spike started to laugh gently, not a happy, funny laugh, more a desperate, sad one.  
  
"No, not today, a long time ago, a very long time ago."  
  
He opened the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a packet of cigarettes and his familiar silver lighter. Taking one from the packet he put it to his lips and lit it.  
  
Faith stared in astonishment, "She will so kick your ass for smoking in the office!" She exclaimed.  
  
Spike shrugged his shoulders, he didn't imagine her coming back today, and it really was the least of his worries anyway.  
  
"Look Spike, do you wanna talk about it?" The brunette asked, softening her tone. He looked absolutely bloody dreadful, she hadn't noticed until then. His eyes were red, black circles beneath and he was shaking, not drastically, just gently and constantly.  
  
Faith moved round the desk and sat on it, placing a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Come on," she whispered, "Let me in. You were the listener the other night, let me return the favour huh!"  
  
Spike nodded slowly, raising his hand and taking a long drag from his cigarette, before stubbing it out in a make shift ashtray.  
  
"I have a little girl Faith," he began. Faith eyes widened as she absorbed this new information.  
  
"Ok, go on," she replied.  
  
"Her names Molly, she's five years old, although she would probably tell you she is five and a quarter, you know what kids are like." He smiled meekly. Faith decided not to interrupt by asking questions, she just let him talk.  
  
""I told Buffy today, I had to. She kept going on about how the past doesn't matter, but it does doesn't it? I can't just pretend it didn't happen, she's my little girl Faith."  
  
Faith nodded, still taken aback by this admission.  
  
"She's bound to be pissed with you Spike, I mean she trusted you and you cheated on her. You know all the shit she had with Angel and her Dad, you know how hard it was for her to trust you! You can't expect her to be all 'hearts and flowers!'"  
  
It was all true of course, he knew that.  
  
Spike shook his head. "It wasn't like she thinks though." He began. Faith snorted and raised her eyebrows.  
  
"It wasn't!" He protested, "I loved her, she was everything, this was..it was a mistake, a once only mistake."  
  
Faith actually felt a little sorry for the man in front of her. He looked so pained, and she knew he really loved Buffy, it just made no sense. Spike pulled another cigarette from the packet and lit it.  
  
"Those things will kill you!" She said to him.  
  
Spike sighed and took another drag. "Not much worth living for anyway any more is there?" He murmured, wiping a tear from his eye. "What's the point anyway?"  
  
"Do you remember that party Buffy had the Christmas before I left?"  
  
Faith nodded, "Yeah, you had that crazy row about college or something."  
  
"Yeah, that's the one. She wanted to stay here with me, when she could have been going to Harvard or something. Well I went home after the row, Wesley was out and I got tanked up on his malt whiskey, I was out of my head. Anyhow the door goes and it's Dru, she was all upset cause her parents were making her go back to England."  
  
Faith pulled her face into a frown. "Why was that anyway?" She asked.  
  
"Her parents thought she was slacking too much, getting into too much trouble, shit like that. Anyhow she shows up all upset and that, so I was comforting her, and I.kinda slept with her."  
  
Faith started to choke on the coffee she had just taken a sip of.  
  
"Tell me you didn't tell Buffy you knocked up Dru!" She exclaimed.  
  
Spike shook his head.  
  
"Didn't get a chance."  
  
"Ok, so you sleep with Dru, then what?"  
  
Spike took a drag from his cigarette.  
  
"Nothing, nothing happened. I woke up in the morning and she was gone. I didn't even remember at first, I was that drunk! Anyway I felt so guilty when I realised what I had done. I realised how much I wanted to be with Buffy, she meant everything to me. I decided not to tell her. There was no point, it was never going to happen again."  
  
Faith handed him a tissue to wipe the tears from his face.  
  
"Everything was great after that, me and Buffy were making plans, I was supposed to go round and see her that night then the door goes. I open it and its Dru standing there, six months gone and hysterical. Her parents had thrown her out, she was desperate and she had nowhere to go. She told me the baby was mine, I panicked, I didn't know what to do. Then I look at her a bit closer, she had blood running down her hands, she had cut her arms up. She just stood there. Then she told me to leave with her now, leave with her and come to England. I said no and she said she was going to kill the baby, or kill herself, whichever came first," he sobbed.  
  
Faith looked on shocked and put an arm around her friend to comfort him.  
  
"I couldn't let her do it Faith!" He cried, "I couldn't let her kill my baby!"  
  
Faith held him as he sobbed inconsolably. Finally he calmed a little.  
  
"I figured I would stay with her till she had the baby, then come back to Sunnydale, come back to Buffy. It didn't work like that, once she was born it was different. She was so beautiful and she was mine. The way her little hands gripped my fingers, and just holding her, it was magical."  
  
Faith pulled the box of tissues towards herself, grabbing one to wipe her own tears.  
  
"I couldn't leave her. Dru was ok at first then the postnatal depression really kicked in. She was always, you know, kinda crazy, but then she got really nuts. I wanted to leave her, take Molly with me but she just lost it. I told her before Molly's fourth birthday that I wanted a divorce, the next day she took her. I haven't seen her since. That crazy bitch took my little princess!"  
  
Faith stroked his head in an attempt to calm him, but it was a hopeless task.  
  
"I thought she was dead, there had been no sightings in six months, until Gunn came round the other night."  
  
Spike pulled the photos Gunn had given him a few nights previous, and showed them to Faith.  
  
"Wow she's really cute!" Faith smiled. "He'll find her for you, I know he will!" She whispered.  
  
She held him for a few more moments before the phone rang.  
  
"You want some coffee Spike?" She asked as she left the room.  
  
Spike nodded before answering the phone.  
  
"William Giles speaking" He answered.  
  
"Spike it's Gunn, she's in Sunnydale, I got a tip off from some woman she was staying with in LA and she said she was heading your way. I have passed the details on to Sunnydale PD, but I thought you should know. I should be there in about an hour, I am on the freeway now. Keep your eyes open man, she's dangerous."  
  
Spike's heart jumped into his mouth and he felt all the blood drain from his face.  
  
"Thanks man," was all he could whisper, before he replaced the receiver and lit another cigarette. 


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24.  
  
Buffy pushed open the door to the apartment. She had been wandering the streets of Sunnydale for the last hour or so, struggling to make sense of what Spike had told her earlier. She had tried to convince herself that it would be ok, that everything could still work. But how could it? How could she ever trust him again? Leaving was one thing, that was bad enough, but cheating on her, that stabbed her right through the heart. It squeezed all the air from her lungs and had crushed her, so that she thought she would never breathe again. She threw her purse on the table and kicked off her shoes, choosing to sit in the comfy armchair.  
  
Dawn emerged from her room rapidly pulling a brush through her hair.  
  
"Faith called, she wants you to call her back. Oh and Spike called like a zillion times or something!"  
  
The phone began to ring  
  
"And I will put money on it that's him again. Can't get enough of you can he!" The younger girl giggled.  
  
Buffy checked the caller display, it was Spike.  
  
"I got a headache Dawn, I think I am just gonna sit quietly," she whispered.  
  
"Ok, you want me to fix you some tablets?" She asked, "I am going over to Janice's for dinner, but I can grab some for you now if you like?"  
  
Buffy shook her head, "No you go on, have fun, I'll see you later," she smiled, putting her feet up on the table and stretching her arms.  
  
Dawn closed the door quietly and Buffy turned on the television, desperately searching for something to take her mind of the pain she was feeling right now. She flicked aimlessly through the channels but failed to find anything that inspired.  
  
The phone began to ring again. Buffy ignored it.  
  
She went to the kitchen, fixed herself some headache tablets and returned to her comfy chair, picking up a magazine Dawn had left in the kitchen on the way. She began to flick through the pages.  
  
The phone rang again. A check of the caller display showed it was Spike, again!  
  
"Jeez Spike take a hint!" She shouted as she pulled the wire from the wall and threw the phone across the room onto the couch. She sat back into her chair and closed her eyes, hoping that sleep would help her.  
  
She was awoken by a knock at the door. Buffy groaned.  
  
"If that's you Spike just go away! I don't want to talk to you right now!" She shouted into the hallway, before returning to the living room.  
  
The knock came again. Buffy ignored it. It came again.  
  
"For fucks sake!" Buffy exclaimed as she stamped along the hallway, and threw the door open.  
  
"Hello Buffy!" She said, a twisted smile on her face.  
  
Buffy looked on horrified.  
  
"What.what are you doing here?" She stuttered.  
  
Dru leant forward and took hold of a piece of Buffy's hair, twirling it gently in her fingers. She leant in to her and whispered in her ear.  
  
"You stole something from me, and I want it back?" She stood back and observed the confused blonde girl in front of her.  
  
"I.I what? No I don't have anything of yours!" She replied, confused, and slightly disturbed by the manner of the woman in front of her.  
  
She looked pretty much the same as she had in high school. She still had the long black hair, although it was curlier now, still had the 'over the top' make up and bizarre dress sense. She looked different though, she had a wild, unstable look in her eyes which was scaring Buffy.  
  
"You live here with your sister do you?" She continued. "That's nice, very cosy, cosy nice family, lucky girl, lucky girl," she rambled almost incoherently. "Does your sister know you are a stealing whore, evil, evil, needs a lesson, they told me to teach you," she continued.  
  
Buffy just stared back at the woman in front of her, shaking slightly, and thrown by her deranged manner.  
  
It was too much of a coincidence, it all made sense now. Spike has a kid, and Dru turns up. 'How could he, not her, not her of all people,' she thought to herself. It occurred to her then that Dru was alone. Panic filled Buffy, she didn't know why, she just knew something was wrong. Then she saw it. Blood on Dru's hands.  
  
"Where is she?" She asked, trying to disguise the fear in her voice. "Where's Molly?"  
  
Dru span around on the spot, almost dancing, "Ah he told you. My William told you. Do you want to see, do you? See what they made me do!" She shrieked manically.  
  
"Where is she?" Buffy repeated.  
  
"They told me, the people in my head. Come with me I will show you!" She turned and started to walk down the stairs. Buffy slammed the door, not bothering to get her keys or pick up her cell phone. She chased down the stairs behind the insane woman.  
  
..............  
  
Spike stormed into the main office straight to Faith's desk.  
  
"Faith I can't get hold of Buffy!" He said panicked.  
  
Faith stared back at him, "Um yeah, I told you that like a half hour ago!" She said sarcastically.  
  
Spike look unamused. "Get home, see if she is there and just not answering!" He shouted.  
  
She looked back at him blankly.  
  
"Go! Now!" He grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her up from the chair.  
  
"Ow!" She cried, "Jeez Spike, what's the hurry?" she complained.  
  
"Go home and stay there, if she comes in call me! And call everyone you know, see if they have seen her," he said forcefully.  
  
Faith looked at him, he was in a blind panic, she had never seen him in a state like this before.  
  
"Faith she could be in danger, go home and don't let anyone in!" He stressed.  
  
Faith grabbed her bags and ran, she ran as fast as she could. When she got home she found the apartment empty. Buffy's purse and cell on the table. She went back to the front door. There was blood on the floor, and some further down on the wall of the hallway. She ran to the phone, plugging it back in.  
  
"Spike! Shit Spike she's not here. All her shits here but she isn't. There's blood on the floor. What the hell's going on!" She sobbed into the phone. She was shaking, she didn't remember ever being this scared.  
  
"Right, stay put. I am sending Gunn over. Call Dawn, tell her not to go home. When he gets there you two go out and look for her. Look everywhere! Please!" He begged.  
  
Faith sat and waited as instructed. Spike closed the office and went out on his own to search for his beloved, his wife and his princess.  
  
.............  
  
"Where are we going?" Buffy asked as they walked through the back streets of Sunnydale.  
  
It had begun to rain quite heavily and her clothes were beginning to soak through.  
  
They walked for nearly two hours. They had been walking in circles, Buffy knew this, but she had humoured the woman, not wanting to antagonize her any further. They walked past Willy's bar for the third time.  
  
"Dru!" Buffy shouted, "Dru, Where is she? Stop playing games!"  
  
Drusilla span around and grabbed Buffy by the throat.  
  
"You want to see, you want to see everything! But you are bad, you steal, you stole from me, bitch!" She rambled, slapping Buffy hard around the face.  
  
Buffy tried to pull away but Dru pulled her into the alleyway. She threw her to the floor.  
  
"You keep saying that Dru, you keep saying I stole from you, but I haven't, I have nothing of yours!" She pleaded.  
  
"Bitch! Bitch! You lie. You took him, my William, you took him."  
  
Buffy pulled herself up from the floor.  
  
"I never took him Dru!" She exclaimed. "He left me for you!" The situation was increasingly frustrating her.  
  
Dru flew at her again, scratching at her face. Buffy put her hands up to protect herself, but Drusilla pushed her back against the wall. She pulled a gun from her jacket and placed it to Buffy's head. Buffy froze as she felt the cold metal press against her skull.  
  
Dru backed away, still holding the gun pointing at the shaking blonde.  
  
"You stole him. He was mine. Even when he came with me he was still here. Everywhere, everywhere I look I see you. I look at him and I see you. Smothered, smothered in you he was, always, always." She span around on the spot, waving the gun around and hitting at her head. Buffy didn't move. The rain kept falling and she was cold. She was shaking. She was crying  
  
"Everything is Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. Then it was Molly. Always her, always you, never me. Never Dru ever!! You took him, you spoiled him. He was mine. My beautiful boy, my William. Bitch!" She span back around, waving the gun back at the terrified blonde girl.  
  
"I.I didn't mean to, I am sorry..." She whimpered.  
  
Dru walked towards her and swung the gun at her head, the cold metal sending Buffy tumbling to the floor as it connected with her temple. She lay on the floor of the alleyway, drenched and terrified.  
  
.............  
  
Gunn filled Faith in of Dru's mental state as they drove around Sunnydale. They searched everywhere she could think and had come up empty. They met Spike outside Willy's Bar. He had checked everywhere he could think and turned up nothing. This was the last place. Spike entered and walked straight to the bar.  
  
"The usual Spike?" Willy asked as he approached the bar.  
  
"Not tonight, have you seen Buffy?" He asked.  
  
Willy shrugged his shoulders, "Dunno, Buffy who?"  
  
Faith intervened before Spike could cause him physical harm.  
  
"Buffy, my friend, short, blonde, kinda uptight, makes you make those crappy margherita's!" She snapped.  
  
"Oh, pretty little thing, yeah she went that way earlier. I thought she was coming in here, but her friend had other ideas apparently. Guess Willy's ain't good enough for her type huh!" He snorted.  
  
He hadn't got the words out before the three were running out the door. They rounded the corner to see Dru screaming in the alleyway, waving a gun about, and Buffy lying on the floor.  
  
Spike went to run in but Faith held him back.  
  
"Stop!" She cried, "She's not dead, look she's moving."  
  
Spike stopped dead and stared Drusilla straight in the face.  
  
"What have you done?" He shouted.  
  
Dru began to flail her arms about again, screaming incoherently. "Always her, never me, always Buffy, Molly, Buffy, everywhere, everywhere I look, everything I touch, never me, never me." She banged herself on the head with the gun.  
  
"What kind of person sells a lunatic a gun?" He mumbled.  
  
"Welcome to America Spike!" Faith replied.  
  
Buffy began to come around slightly, she tried to sit up but her head was spinning. She raised her hand to it and tried to steady herself, remembering what was happening. Blue lights appeared in her periphery vision. She could hear Faith, and Spike, and someone else.  
  
Gunn retreated back to fill in the Sunnydale PD on the situation. Another police car pulled up blocking the other end of the alleyway. There was no escape.  
  
"Dru! Dru put the gun down luv!" Spike pleaded.  
  
She span around.  
  
"No always, always her, no, no.! She screamed.  
  
She was making no sense anymore, whirling around wildly, holding her head, waving the gun in all directions, but mostly at Buffy.  
  
"Sir, step aside please!" An officer requested, and Spike reluctantly did.  
  
"Ma'am, put the gun down!" He said firmly.  
  
She didn't, she began ranting again. No one could hear what she was saying anymore, she made no sense.  
  
She turned back, pulling Buffy from the floor.  
  
"Evil, evil!" She screamed as she struck her around the face. Buffy couldn't move, frozen with fear and cold. The rain continued to pour down.  
  
"Ma'am, put the gun on the floor and walk away!"  
  
She didn't, screaming in Buffy's ear. "You, you, everywhere!!!"  
  
Spike heard a voice on the officer's radio.  
  
"Sir, I have a shot, repeat, I have a shot!"  
  
"Hold fire officer," he replied  
  
Spike decided to try again.  
  
"Dru, Dru baby, we can work this out!" He lied. "We can go away, just you and me, go somewhere and be together!" He pleaded.  
  
She cocked the gun and placed it at Buffy's head.  
  
He didn't hear what happened next, all he heard was a shot. A single shot. His heart stopped.  
  
She fell to the floor. 


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25.  
  
Spike looked around, everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. He couldn't hear anything. The chaos surrounding him all seemed dampened. The only real thing was the rain. It fell relentlessly.  
  
Buffy stood, rooted to the spot. She was shaking too terrified to move a muscle. Eventually she stumbled backwards and leant against the wall, slowly sliding down its surface, until she was sat on the floor. She looked to her right. Drusilla lay there, still and silent, a small pool of blood forming behind her head. Her eyes were open, as if she was staring at the stars.  
  
"Get out of my way!" Faith shouted as she pushed her way through the police blocking the alleyway. One grabbed her arm as she tried to squeeze through, but released her when they saw her tear stained face.  
  
Faith ran to Buffy's side pulling her towards her and hugging her tightly.  
  
"B! It's ok, everything's gonna be ok!" She sobbed as she held her friend close.  
  
She ran her fingers down the side of Buffy's head, where her hair had become matted with blood. Buffy flinched as Faith touched the gash.  
  
"It's ok, it's just a little cut. We will get you sorted out, everything's fine!"  
  
Buffy couldn't speak, she was trying to take in everything that had happened, but it all seemed just too much for her to handle, she just wanted to shut down. She stared into space, tears rolling slowly down her cheeks. She could see Spike, standing a few feet away, holding his head in his hands. When he moved his hands from his face, she could see he was crying, and then she remembered. She shook off her shock and turned to Faith.  
  
"Did they find her? Did they find Molly?" She asked her friend.  
  
Faith shook her head then wiped the tears from Buffy's face.  
  
"No B, not yet. The police are out looking, and Gunn has his people out there too. But no they haven't found anything yet."  
  
The paramedics made their way through the growing crowd, towards the dishevelled blonde girl. They made a preliminary assessment of her condition, as she reverted to staring back into space. Gunn came over and touched Faith on the shoulder. She turned and buried her head in his chest, allowing him to stroke her hair as she cried. He didn't need to say anything, he was everything she needed at that moment. He was her strength, and she was Buffy's. Faith pulled away and rubbed at her eyes, making herself look like a panda, and causing a smile to spread across Gunn's face.  
  
"Do you want me to come to the hospital with you?" He asked her.  
  
Faith smiled.  
  
"No, it's ok, I got it covered thanks. I think Spike needs you right now anyway," she motioned towards the distraught man, standing over the body of his dead wife.  
  
Gunn shook his head. "No, he has to go down the station, fill them in on all the details and stuff. He said he wants to do it alone."  
  
Faith gave him another hug.  
  
"There is something you could do," she said, handing him her house keys. "Could you pick up Dawn from her friends, and stay with her at our place until Xander and Anya can come over. She's kinda freaked out by the whole thing, I just don't want her showing up at the hospital while Buffy is like this."  
  
He took the keys and watched as Buffy was lifted into the back of the ambulance, Faith followed and sat at her side. She held her hand as they drove through town to Sunnydale Memorial. When they arrived they took her straight through to the emergency room, so the wound on her head could be attended to. It was quite shallow, and less serious than it had first appeared, but from the amount of blood, Faith was pretty sure Buffy was going to have one hell of a headache for the next few days.  
  
Buffy was deathly silent, still struggling with the reality of the situation, she broke her silence occasionally just to ask if there was any news.  
  
The night dragged on and still there was nothing.  
  
An x-ray and CAT scan of Buffy's skull showed that she had been very lucky. It was just a surface wound, and required only a few stitches. The blow to her head had caused her to have a concussion, and the nursing staff advised her to rest in bed for the evening, just to be on the safe side. As she was still a little wobbly on her feet Buffy agreed, and Faith stayed by her side.  
  
Buffy had been given something to help with the pain, which had made her a little drowsy, before long she had drifted off into a semi peaceful sleep. Faith took the opportunity to go outside to get some fresh air, and to use her cell phone. She leant against the cold, wet brick of the walls, tipping her face upwards, so that the rain fell onto her face. She inhaled some deep breaths and tried to calm herself before she went back into the hospital. That was when it hit her. She nearly lost her best friend. It could have been Buffy in the morgue that night, not Dru. Sure, she and Buffy had their ups and downs, but she was more than just a friend to Faith, she was the sister she never had. She was her family. She shook as she sobbed into the night, not caring who was watching, ignoring the people that had snuck out of the ward for a sneaky cigarette. She just cried until she couldn't cry anymore, then wiping her face dry she returned to her friend.  
  
As she approached Buffy's cubicle, she saw Gunn standing outside.  
  
"She's sleeping," he whispered as she approached.  
  
"Cool," the brunette replied. "The doc said I can take her home in the morning, they just want to keep an eye on her a bit longer." She said, as she sunk into his embrace. She sighed heavily, as she sank down into the chairs situated outside the cubicle.  
  
"Is Dawn ok?" She asked to the man, who was now gently holding her hand.  
  
He nodded, stroking her fingers gently.  
  
"Yeah, your friends are with her now. She was pretty freaked out though, you were right about her wanting to come down here. I practically had to lock her in the apartment man!" He exclaimed. "I had a call from Spike, I thought you would want to know, and I couldn't get you on your cell, so I came straight down."  
  
Buffy's eyes flew open, she strained to hear the conversation between the two people sat just outside.  
  
"They found Molly. She was in a motel just outside town." He continued.  
  
Faith's eyes widened, "Oh god, is she ok?" She asked, scared at what the answer would be.  
  
"She's with Spike now, she isn't hurt, but it's hard to say how she is. They got a doctor looking over her. She seems fine, well as fine as she can be if you know what I mean." He sighed and leant his head back against the wall. "This is all so fucked up man!" He mumbled.  
  
Faith squeezed his hand.  
  
"You should go be with him babe," she whispered, planting a kiss on his cheek. "I am ok here with Buff, someone should be with Spike."  
  
Buffy breathed a sigh of relief as she slowly drifted back to sleep, as the pain killers took hold of her. 


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26.  
  
Xander pulled up outside the hospital entrance, to find Faith was leaning against the wall. She hadn't slept all night, too worried about her friends. Buffy, although physically ok and apart from a small head wound, was pretty freaked out. She hadn't said much all night, not that that had surprised Faith. She didn't know what it would be like if someone had tried to kill her. She decided it was best to just give her a bit of time, let her sort it out in her own head first, before she even started asking questions. That was the main reason she didn't want Dawn and the others at the hospital. They would mean well, but Faith knew they would be too 'in her face', and she didn't think Buffy was quite up for that yet.  
  
Then there was Spike, she couldn't imagine what he was going through. He finally had his daughter back, but the consequence was seeing his wife shot dead, and his 'girlfriend' attacked. How he was going to cope with a young child, and deal with that she didn't know? Gunn was right, it was all fucked up!  
  
The drive home was pretty quiet. Faith dozed in the front, and Buffy gazed out of the window. When they reached the apartment there was a small welcoming party. Dawn threw herself at her injured sister, nearly sending her flying.  
  
"Buffy! I was so worried!" She whimpered, "I thought I was going to lose you too, please don't ever leave me! Please!" She begged.  
  
"Sshhh Dawnie, it's ok. I just had a bump on the head," she said, pointing to the bandage.  
  
She hugged her sobbing sister until she calmed slightly.  
  
"You..you could have been killed!" She stuttered. "You could have been killed, and it's all Spike's fault. I hate him!" Dawn spat the words out with venom.  
  
Buffy pulled away to look at her sister.  
  
"It wasn't Spike's fault Dawn! Don't say that!" She said firmly.  
  
Dawn was having none of it.  
  
"It was his freakazoid girlfriend that was going to shoot you..duh! I am gonna kick his peroxide ass!"  
  
"Dawnie, I have to lie down. I have a killer headache. Do me a favour, stay away from Spike. Please!" She said before turning towards her bedroom door.  
  
She changed out of her bloodstained clothes, and climbed into her warm inviting bed. Just twenty-four hours ago he was in this bed with her. She could still smell him on the sheets. She pulled a pillow up to her face a breathed him in. It was comforting. She snuggled into the pillow as she let her eyes close.  
  
Buffy slept most of the day. Faith and Dawn took turns to check on her every now and then, but she slept soundly. About five o'clock there was a knock at the door. Dawn went to open it.  
  
"Hey Dawn," Gunn said as he came in.  
  
"I guessed you guys wouldn't have been out, and noticed you were a bit short of supplies last night, so I brought some pizza. Kinda figured you would be a bit hungry!" He said with a smile.  
  
Faith jumped up and took the boxes from him, placing them on the table.  
  
"Oh you so read my mind! You are a star baby!" She replied, planting a kiss on his lips.  
  
Dawn got some plates, and the trio began to tuck into to their late lunch.  
  
"How's Buffy been?" He asked, with a mouth full of pizza.  
  
Faith waved her hand side to side.  
  
"Physical she's fine, mentally I just don't know. She's a bit 'out there' you know?" She replied.  
  
He nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Spike's losing it man!"  
  
"Like we care!!!" Dawn interrupted, as she slammed down her plate and stormed to her bedroom.  
  
Gunn looked at Faith a little confused.  
  
"She's pissed at Spike for nearly getting Buffy shot." Faith explained.  
  
"Oh right, well I guess she has a point huh! But I am really worried about him. He is a wreck man! I don't think he is going to be able to cope with this. He blames himself, and he can't seem to calm Molly. He threw me out, totally freaked and shut the door on me. All he wants is her." He said, motioning to Buffy's room.  
  
Faith sighed, and took another slice of pizza.  
  
"I don't think she is going to be too keen to see him," she began, "I mean, would you be if you were her!! She has hardly spoken to any of us. I can't see her speaking to him anytime soon."  
  
They finished their pizza and Faith leant her head down in his lap. She was exhausted, they both were. She felt safe in his embrace, safe enough to allow herself to fall asleep. He stroked her hair gently as she drifted off, and watched her as she peacefully slept. When they had first met he had thought she looked so broken, so vulnerable beneath her harsh, confident exterior. Spike had told him about her, and she had opened up to him a lot while they were searching for Buffy. He saw strength in her that he knew she didn't see herself. He decided he was going to help her see it. He was going to show her that she was an angel, not a demon. Soon he joined her in their comfortable slumber.  
  
Buffy lay in her bed, still clutching the pillow. She stared at the ceiling, searching for answers, but she realised there really were none. While she was here, in her safe, homely apartment she knew he was alone with his daughter, in some crappy hotel room. He was scared, she could feel it. He needed her. He needed her and she wasn't there.  
  
She pulled herself out of bed, slowly as she was still a little dizzy. She couldn't hear any noise from the other room, so figured everyone was either out, or taking the chance to have a sleep. Quietly Buffy opened her closet, choosing her favourite jeans and a blue turtleneck. She quickly changed and pulled on her boots.  
  
Reaching up on top of the closet she pulled down a small overnight bag. She stuffed some pyjamas and a change of clothes into the bag, before going to the bathroom and grabbing her wash bag.  
  
Silently she crept down the hallway, stopping suddenly every time a floorboard squeaked. She considered leaving a note, but decided she wanted to leave now. She would call later. The door creaked as she pulled it open, she held her breath, praying nobody had heard. Quietly she closed it behind her.  
  
Before Buffy knew it she was on the sidewalk hailing a cab, she didn't have to wait long, soon she was on her way. It wasn't until she was settled in the back of the cab that she realised her hands were shaking, in fact all of her was shaking.  
  
What is he didn't want to see her? What if he still loved Dru? What if Molly hated her? What if??  
  
All these questions suddenly flooded her mind. Panic set in.  
  
As they pulled up outside the hotel she could barely breathe.  
  
"We're here!" The cab driver shouted for the fifth time, shaking Buffy back into reality. "That's five bucks."  
  
Buffy shoved a handful of dollars into his hand and got out of the cab. She stared at the outside of the building for what seemed like an age, before finally pushing the revolving door.  
  
She rode the elevator up to the fifth floor, hands still shaking. People were staring, and then she remembered she still had the hospital bandage on her head.  
  
She stood outside the door, listening. It was quiet inside. Buffy tried to hold back her own tears as she knocked quietly on the door.  
  
And then there he was. Standing in front of her, looking so terrified. Molly was sleeping quietly on the bed. Buffy pushed the door closed behind her and moved towards him. Resting her head on his shoulder, she put her arms around him and held him tight. He couldn't believe what was happening. Was she really here? Was this really happening? He pulled away searching her face for an answer.  
  
"Can I stay?" she whispered.  
  
He reached a hand out to stroke her face.  
  
"Please Spike. I want to be with you. Always. Whatever."  
  
Spike couldn't speak. He pulled her to him again and she knew. This was forever. 


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27.  
  
They stood together in the room for what seemed like an eternity. Spike held Buffy close to his chest, gently stroking her hair and delicately placing soft kisses down the side of her neck. They didn't speak, they didn't need to. No words were necessary. The relief and joy he had felt, when he opened the door to see her standing there was so overwhelming. It had taken Spike several minutes, to actually allow himself to believe that she was really there. That she had really wanted to be near him. He was scared to move, not wanting to break the moment they were sharing, terrified that if they broke the embrace, somehow she may disappear.  
  
Buffy melted deeper and deeper into his embrace. She felt warm, alive, wanted, she hadn't felt like this in such a long time, in fact the last time she had felt so loved was the last time he had held her this way, when they had been dancing around the gym at prom. They were just kids then, now they had all grown up. Things had changed so much, yet their feelings still remained the same.  
  
Eventually they broke apart, Molly was taking up most of the bed, so Spike led Buffy over to the couch. He picked up some clothes that had been thrown there, and made space for her to sit down. He opened the fridge and retrieved a bottle of wine.  
  
"Would you like a drink pet?" He asked her softly.  
  
Buffy nodded, and he proceeded to pour two generous glasses out. Handing one to her he settled on the couch.  
  
"How's the head?" He asked, as he brushed his hand gently across her temple where the bandage was.  
  
"I think there is a small band drumming in my head, but apart from that I'll live." She smiled meekly.  
  
Spike unstuck the edges of the bandage and pulled it off, examining the cut beneath. Buffy winced as some of the plaster pulled at her hair.  
  
"Sorry love, you just looked a bit ragged with that dirty bandage. Need to keep it clean," he said, placing a kiss softly over the wound.  
  
Buffy tried to stifle a yawn, but it was obvious to Spike that she was pretty exhausted. He pulled her gently down to lie on him, her head resting in his lap. She drifted off to sleep as he gently stroked her face.  
....  
  
Faith opened her eyes, she was lying on the couch wrapped in the arms of her new man. He was snoring gently, his head lying back over the edge of the couch. She chuckled to herself, he was lying so awkwardly, obviously positioned that way so he didn't wake her up. She stretched out her arms, the movement causing Gunn to wake. He rolled onto his side almost falling off the couch. Faith put an arm out to grab him before he fell.  
  
"Hey," she whispered in his ear. "How you doin?"  
  
Gunn turned to her smiling and placed a kiss on her lips.  
  
"I was having one hell of a good dream." He grinned at her.  
  
"Me too!" She beamed back. "I am just gonna go check on B, see if she wants anything," she announced as she clambered over him to get off the couch. She stretched her arms above her head again, as she wandered down the hallway to her friends bedroom. She knocked on the door gently before pushing it open. It was dark inside, Buffy had closed the curtains before she left.  
  
"B, you ok girl?" Faith said quietly, as she crossed the room to the bed.  
  
Getting no response she sat on the side of the bed, reaching out her hand towards her friend. Finding the bed empty panic flooded through her. She reached over and turned on the lamp by the side of the bed, confirming he fears. Buffy was gone.  
  
'Ok, don't panic!' She thought to herself as she made her way through the apartment, checking each room methodically, before returning to the living room. She sat back down on the couch beside Gunn, putting her head in her hands.  
  
"Shit!" She shouted, "Shit! Shit! Shit!"  
  
Gunn put a comforting arm around her.  
  
"She can't have gone far," he said, "Let's phone around some people, and see if they have set eyes on her."  
  
Faith nodded and reached for the phone. She was angry with herself for falling asleep and not hearing her leave. She knew she could be anywhere by now, she was obviously gone for the night as it was already 3am.  
  
"What if she doesn't know what she is doing?" She exclaimed. "I mean, she had a pretty hefty bang on the head Gunn, she could do anything!"  
  
She began to dial round all their friends, waking each one up in turn.  
  
......  
  
Buffy woke to the sound of a child crying. She noticed Spike had gotten up and was sitting on the edge of the bed, trying in vain to comfort his distraught daughter. She was hysterical, tears streaming down her face, punching wildly at her father as he tried to calm her. The hospital had given her something to help her sleep, but this had obviously worn off.  
  
Spike looked over to Buffy, his eyes were red and sore from his own tears, and he struggled to keep the little girl from causing herself an injury.  
  
"I don't know what to do Buffy!" He sobbed, as the little girl continued to scream. "What can I possibly do to make this better for her?"  
  
Buffy moved to the bed, placing an arm around him. She comforted him as he tried desperately to console Molly.  
  
She got up from the bed, and walked over to the spot where she had dropped her overnight bag, when she arrived. She bent down and picked up the bag, before walking back over to the couch. She unzipped the bag and started to remove the contents, finally she found what she was looking for. She walked back over to the bed and sat down the other side of the little girl.  
  
Leaning over she stroked back the hair that had fallen over the girls face, in long black ringlets.  
  
" I thought you would be sad," she began, speaking quietly so as not to alarm the child. "So I brought a friend with me. Do you want to say hello?"  
  
Molly turned to look at the blonde woman, wiping her hand across her face she nodded.  
  
Buffy handed the soft toy to her, and noticed that the girls' sobs subsided a little.  
  
"This is Mr Gordo," she continued, "when I am sad I give him a cuddle, and he makes me feel better again."  
  
Molly hugged the toy to her, wiping her runny nose on his ear as she did.  
  
"Do you think you could look after him for me?" Buffy asked the little girl.  
  
Spike looked over her shoulder, appreciation clear on his face. "Thank you," he mouthed as he wiped his eyes.  
  
Molly nodded and snuggled into the toy, leaning into her dad for a cuddle.  
  
"Say thank you to Buffy," he whispered in her ear.  
  
"Fang you,"  
  
Spike looked at the clock, it was 3am.  
  
"It's late pumpkin, shall we try and get you back to sleep?" He said to his child.  
  
Molly shook her head.  
  
"I want mummy!" She sobbed.  
  
"I know baby," he said softly.  
  
She began to cry again as Spike held her.  
  
"But mummy is in heaven now, remember??" Molly screamed some more, and resumed punching out at anything near her.  
  
"The policeman said she was in hell!" She wailed.  
  
Buffy looked over at Spike concerned, and he just stared back blankly, not sure of what to say. Buffy reached over towards the little girl again, in an attempt to help him.  
  
"That's not true Molly," she began, "Your mummy is in heaven, with the angels." She continued.  
  
Molly rubbed at her eyes.  
  
"The policeman said she was evil and did bad things," she stuttered, "and mummy said bad people go to hell."  
  
Buffy pulled the young girl towards her, putting her arms around her.  
  
"Your mummy wasn't evil, she was confused," she said softly as she stroked the child's hair. "And confused people go to heaven, so that's where she is now, in heaven with the angels."  
  
Molly sniffled and wiped her nose on Buffy's sweater. Buffy rocked her gently, trying to soothe her.  
  
"Is that true daddy, is mummy in heaven?"  
  
Spike nodded, and moved over towards them, placing his arms around them both.  
  
"Yes, it's true pumpkin, she is with the angels now." He whispered as she began to drift gently back to sleep. 


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28.  
  
Spike tucked Molly back into bed, making sure to tuck Mr Gordo in with her too. He wandered back over to the couch, snuggling against Buffy, as he watched the little girl sleep.  
  
"You're amazing love, you know that?" He stated, as he held her tight to his body. Buffy smiled into his chest, revelling in his touch.  
  
After a while she broke away, pulling him up to face her.  
  
"You can't stay here Spike." She said, flicking her hair out of her eyes. "She needs to be somewhere that feels safe, somewhere friendly. Hotels are too sterile, it's not good for her! Besides she has probably been in hotels and motels for the last year, she needs a home, some stability!"  
  
He nodded, it was true. He couldn't continue to live in hotels, he needed to make a home for him and Molly. He was planning on looking for a rental place after the holidays, all the real estate agents were closed till then anyway.  
  
"Come and stay at mine," she continued, "We have plenty of room. You and Molly can have my room, I can bunk in with Dawn or Faith for the time being. After Christmas the spare room will be free too, so you can have that till you can find a place."  
  
Spike sat up, a little shocked by this announcement.  
  
"Don't you think you should ask the others pet?" He questioned. "I mean, they may not be so keen."  
  
Before she could answer there was a quiet knock at the door. Spike got up from the couch to answer it. He quietly pulled the door open, so that the creak didn't wake the now slumbering Molly. Faith stood on the other side, looking extremely stressed out.  
  
"Spike, thank god you're awake, I couldn't get you on the phone, Buffy's disappeared, we've tried everyone but no one has seen her," she sobbed.  
  
Spike pushed the door open the rest of the way, so Faith and Gunn could see the blonde sat on the couch.  
  
"Come in," he said quietly, "but keep the noise down, we only just got Molly off to sleep again."  
  
Faith flew across the room and flung her arms around Buffy.  
  
"God, I was so worried! I thought you had gone and done something stupid, I woke up and you had disappeared!" She sighed, clearly relieved to see her friend safe and well.  
  
Buffy hugged her friend back.  
  
"I am fine Faith! Everything's going to be fine. In fact seeing as you are here I have something to ask you."  
  
Buffy proceeded to explain her plan to Faith, who agreed that it was definitely in Molly's best interest to be somewhere more homely, at this time. Spike sat the other side of the room with Gunn, he ran his hands through his tousled platinum hair and looked at the floor sheepishly.  
  
"Look mate, I am sorry about earlier, I just needed some time to think," he apologised to his friend.  
  
Gunn put his hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Hey man, no problem, I'd be the same if it was me."  
  
Buffy and Faith stood up and wandered over to the two men. She ran a hand across his face.  
  
"I am going to head home with Faith, got some furniture moving to do." she said as she picked up her bag. "Why don't you wait till Molly wakes up, then come over, bring as much as you can, and we can collect the rest of your things later."  
  
Spike nodded, kissing her on the cheek as she left with the others.  
......  
  
Dawn awoke to the sound of Buffy dragging a chest of drawers across the bedroom. Faith hadn't woken her when they realised Buffy was missing, she was already in too bad a mood and wouldn't have been any help whatsoever.  
  
"Buffy what in the hell are you doing?" She screamed at her sister, who was struggling to squeeze the cabinet into a space far too small.  
  
She stopped, flopping onto the bed to regain her breath.  
  
"A little reorganising Dawn. Spike and Molly are going to be staying with us for Christmas," she said, before jumping up to continue dragging the cabinet.  
  
Dawn stood at the doorway, arms crossed.  
  
"That bang on the head really did damage your brain didn't it!" She snapped. "I mean, have you totally lost your mind. This guy cheats on you, nearly gets you killed, and you want to welcome him into our home!"  
  
Buffy glared at her sister. She knew Dawn was 'anti Spike' at the moment, but she didn't expect such a reaction. It made no difference though, they were staying and that was final. Deciding to ignore her sister, she resumed arranging the room for the two visitors.  
......  
  
Spike packed all the belongings, that had been found in the motel with his daughter into one of his suitcases. The other he filled with as many of his clothes as he could fit, and as many of his personal items as possible. He stopped and smiled, as he placed a photograph of himself and Buffy on the top. Finally they were together again.  
  
It was almost 9am when he arrived at the apartment block. Molly had slept all through the rest of the night, and he was loath to wake her while she was so peaceful. He had no idea how she was going to react when he told her they were going to stay with Buffy, and was pleasantly surprised when the little girl appeared, at least, to be pleased by the news. He carried Molly up the stairs to the apartment, cursing the fact that Buffy didn't buy the one with the lift, just as she had a few days earlier. Molly giggled as they approached the door, and she saw the giant plastic Santa stuck to it.  
  
Spike had no free hands, so he asked her to knock on the door for him.  
  
Faith opened the door.  
  
"Hey Molly!" She greeted her with a big beaming smile, eager to make the little one feel comfortable. She kissed Spike on the cheek as he came into the room. "I'm making special pancakes, do you want some?" She asked.  
  
Molly nodded as she clung to her dad, squeezed in between them was Mr Gordo.  
  
Buffy bounced in from the bedroom, where she had just finished reorganising things. She ran to Spike and gave him a big hug, kissing Molly on the cheek and giving Mr Gordo a little squeeze, just so he didn't feel left out. Dawn stood in the doorway, still furious, glaring at Spike. He picked up on the frosty vibes from the younger sister, as did Molly who began to become restless in his arms.  
  
"Are you sure this is ok love?" He asked Buffy.  
  
"Just stay out of my way, and keep the brat away from my room!" Dawn interrupted.  
  
Buffy looked horrified and apologised to Spike, before following her sister into her room. Molly began to cry, for the first time that day, not because of her mother, but because of the hostile reaction from Dawn. She clung to Spike legs screaming that she wanted to go home.  
  
Buffy slammed Dawn's door behind her, as she followed the stroppy teenager into her room.  
  
"So Dawn, how does it feel?" She asked.  
  
Dawn raised her eyebrows and shot Buffy a dirty look.  
  
"How does what feel?" She snapped.  
  
"How does it feel to make a five year old girl, who has just lost her mother, cry?"  
  
Dawn sat on the edge of her bed, a guilty look passed across her face. She hadn't meant to upset the little girl, she was just so mad Buffy had invited them to stay, without even consulting her. In her mind she was looking out for her sister. She had been hurt so much by Spike already, she just didn't want her to get hurt anymore. Buffy couldn't bear to be around her sister any longer, she was so furious at her behaviour. She went back into the living room to help Spike cheer up the little one. There was no need however, Faith was dancing around the living room with a pair of plastic antlers on her head, singing Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, while Molly clapped along giggling. Buffy couldn't help herself and fell about laughing with the others.  
  
Gunn spoke up. "Honey, should that black smoke be coming from the kitchen?" He asked, looking towards the plumes that were pouring from the frying pan.  
  
She ran into the kitchen, antlers flailing, to rescue what was intended to be pancakes.  
  
"Faith's cooking strikes again I see!" Spike joked, as he pulled Buffy towards him, placing a kiss tenderly on her lips.  
  
He went downstairs to get the bags, while Buffy tried to help Faith salvage some breakfast. She had planned on bunking in with Faith, but it seemed that Gunn was pretty settled, and she thought Faith deserved a bit of happiness. She decided she would just have to share with Dawn, whether she liked it or not.  
  
Dawn meantime had been sat in her bedroom feeling guilty as sin. She decided she should make it up to her and Spike. She came out of her bedroom, a pile art and craft materials in her hands.  
  
"Hi Molly, sorry I was nasty," she began cautiously. The little girl stared back at her, not giving anything away. "Well if you are staying for Christmas you are going to need a stocking," she said, motioning to the line of stockings pinned above the fireplace.  
  
Molly beamed back, jumping up from Spike lap, and running towards the younger sister.  
  
"Better make that two!" Faith added, "I kinda asked Charles to join us too." She beamed  
  
"When did she start calling you Charles mate?" Spike laughed, "Must be love, huh?"  
  
"Two stockings it is then!" Dawn announced, before leading Molly to her room to begin construction.  
  
Spike strolled into the kitchen and slipped his arms around Buffy's waist. She was desperately trying to create some semblance of a nutritious breakfast for the little girl, but failing miserably.  
  
"Cereal is fine you know pet?" He whispered in her ear, as he caressed her face.  
  
She turned round to face him and sighed a breath of relief.  
  
"Thank god for that," she smiled, "I am just trying so hard to make things ok for her."  
  
"I know love, I know, and you are doing great." He brushed his lips against her. It was the gentlest of touches, but it sent shivers through both of them. As soon as their lips parted they both craved more. Spike leant into her as he ran his hands back through her hair, pulling her in towards him, pressing his lips against hers again.  
  
Buffy melted into him as he softly deepened the kiss, running his tongue gently along her lips, he moaned quietly as she slipped her tongue into his mouth. They could hold back any longer. Their tongues battled for dominance as he pulled her further into him. She could feel his obvious arousal pressing into her, but they had to be careful, they couldn't have Molly wandering in, not until she'd had a chance to get use to things. Spike ran his hands down her sides, pushing them beneath her turtleneck and sliding them back up her sides. She was so warm, so soft, and he wanted her so much. Finally they had to break away and catch some breath.  
  
Breathing heavily Spike held her close to his body.  
  
"I love you Buffy," he whispered. "I love you so much."  
  
She placed another kiss softly on his lips.  
  
"I love you too baby."  
  
A/N --- Another big thanks to Mercy for all her beta-ing.And also thanks to everyone that has reviewed so far, it's really nice to read what you think :o) 


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29.  
  
Buffy slumped back into the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table. She hadn't had a proper nights sleep for days now, sure she had a little at the hospital, but that was more painkiller induced, than actual rest. She wanted to collapse into her bed and pull the covers over her. Actually that wasn't strictly true, she wanted to collapse into bed and pull Spike over her, but that wasn't an option for the foreseeable future. She had to settle for sharing Dawns bed, at least until Molly had gotten used to the new arrangements.  
  
"She seems to be settled now," Spike said as he returned to the living room. He leant over the back of the couch, placing a kiss on Buffy's forehead. She couldn't help but let a smile spread across her face. He came round the front to sit beside her, casually swinging an arm around her shoulders. It was like they had never been apart.  
  
"I'm pretty beat myself," Buffy mumbled after a while. She had been sitting snuggled against Spike for the last half hour, stifling her yawns and trying desperately to keep her eyes open, but they kept closing against her will. Finally she admitted defeat.  
  
"You want me to tuck you in too?" Spike asked with a wicked grin on his face.  
  
Buffy giggled, then seeing the look of horror on Dawn's face, decided that maybe that wasn't such a good idea.  
  
"I'll try not to hog the bed too much Dawnie," she said as she made her way to the bedroom.  
  
"You can spread out as much as you like, I called Lindsay and I am going over the stay there tonight." Dawn smiled to herself, thoughts of what she would be getting up to later flooded her mind.  
  
Buffy was secretly relieved, Dawn had a tendency to kick out in the night, and she snored worse than any guy she had ever dated.  
  
"When are we going to meet Lindsay," she asked, "she sounds like a really nice girl." Buffy wondered out loud.  
  
Faith and Dawn exchanged a knowing look, and tried not to laugh out loud.  
  
"Yeah Buffy, she's lovely," she replied as she gathered her things and prepared to head over to her boyfriends. "No boinking in my bed!" She added as she closed the door.  
  
Faith couldn't hold her laugh in anymore and it came out, resounding around the room.  
  
"What?" Buffy asked, trying to hold in another yawn.  
  
"Um, nothing," Faith answered.  
  
Buffy looked back, disbelieving.  
  
"Lindsay'sherboyfriendandsheisgoingovertohavesex" Faith blurted out, before grabbing the remote control, and staring very intently at the screen. Sensing the sudden cold breeze that had entered the room, Gunn decided that helping Faith in her 'let's find something on TV' quest was a safe option. Buffy had snapped out of her dozy state and was glaring at Faith, who was still desperately trying to pretend she wasn't doing so.  
  
"Ooh look the discovery channel has koala bears!" She squeaked in a most un Faithlike manner. Gunn couldn't help but find her adorable. Buffy however thought otherwise.  
  
"You knew she was sleeping with this guy, you don't tell me, and you let her leave the apartment!" She screamed at Faith, who had no choice but to acknowledge that actually koala bears, didn't really rock her boat.  
  
She flung her arms in the air, "She's nineteen for fucks sake B! Let the girl have a life! She's not stupid, she's being careful!" She shouted back, before realising what she had just said.  
  
Buffy crossed her arms and glared at her friend, who was now desperately thinking of someway she could backtrack to cover her last comment.  
  
"How do you know she's being careful Faith? Just how much has she told you? She's just a kid, she shouldn't be."  
  
"Err pet, we were shagging at eighteen!" Spike interrupted, quickly shutting up when Buffy's fury came down on him.  
  
"She is not us! She is my little sister!"  
  
Spike held his hands up and backed away from the irate blonde before him. It was true, he was pretty shocked at Faith's little announcement. Dawn was like his little sister, he felt very protective towards her, but he couldn't help thinking Buffy had wrapped the girl in cotton wool for the last five years. She wasn't a little girl anymore, she was a young woman.  
  
"What were you thinking Faith? Anything could happen. This guy could be a psycho, or, or, she could get pregnant or something.did you think of that?" Buffy rambled wildly.  
  
Faith sighed loudly and turned to face her friend. She could almost see the steam coming out of Buffy's ears.  
  
"He isn't a psycho, he's perfectly normal and she isn't gonna get pregnant! She is just being a teenager, you can't protect her from everything B!"  
  
Buffy stomped into Dawn's room, shutting the door behind her. She knew she was being overly protective, but if she wasn't who would be. Dawn wasn't a minor anymore, but Buffy still felt responsible for her. She didn't want her to get hurt the way she had back in school. Spike gave her a few minutes to calm herself before following her. He knocked on the door gently before pushing it open. He poked his head round the door.  
  
"Is it safe to come in?" He asked, before wandering in and sitting on the bed beside her. Her stroked her hair and placed his arms around her, pulling her close to him. She tried to resist at first, but it really wasn't easy to resist him, however mad she was.  
  
"You have to let her go a little pet," he whispered, as he trailed a line of soft kisses down her neck.  
  
She wanted to be mad at him for not backing her up, but his lips on her neck made her crumble almost instantly.  
  
"I know, I just wish she had spoken to me, and not Faith," she mumbled, "I mean, why would she go to her?"  
  
Spike raised his eyebrows and looked straight at her.  
  
"Pet, if she needed to get some sex ed, then I'd say Faith would be a good place to start, and I guess she figured you might have gone mental.and lets face it, she was right!"  
  
He was right of course, as usual.  
  
Spike ran his hands over her shoulders, rubbing them gently. Her muscles were tense, and twitched beneath his touch.  
  
"How about I relax you a little before bed, then you can have a good nights sleep. Things won't look so scary in the morning," he whispered.  
  
He pulled her further back onto the bed before reaching over and pulling her sweater over her head.  
  
"Lay on your front love," he said before jumping up from the bed and leaving the room. He returned a minute later with a bottle of oil in his hands.  
  
"What are you doing," she asked, her head buried in the pillows.  
  
"Just borrowed a little something from Faith pet, nothing to worry about," he said as he unhooked the clasp on her bra, pushing the straps down her shoulders.  
  
"If it's chocolate body paint you can forget it mister," she joked as she felt him pour a cool liquid on the small of her back. The smell of ylang ylang and rosemary perforated the air, that alone made her relax almost instantly.  
  
She felt his hands sweep from the small of her back up to her shoulders, leaving small tingles along the path they had touched. He pulled them gently down her sides to return to his starting point. Buffy smiled into the pillows, 'He always did have good hands' she thought as she tried to resist the urge to turn over and jump on him.  
  
Spike traced the same path with his hands time and time again, paying attention to the tense muscles of her shoulders. His touch was gentle, yet firm, she was putty in his hands literally. He moved so he was sat over her ass, enabling him to get better pressure on her sore muscles. As he leant over her to sweep his hands up her back she instinctively pushed back onto him, causing him to harden instantly, not that he wasn't turned on enough already, but he was just managing to keep himself under control. He let out a small groan as she pressed herself back into his groin. He traced his fingers down her side, gently touching the sides of her breast, causing her to let out a tiny moan. This was almost more than she could bear. She was with the man she loved, but they couldn't go too far, not yet. Buffy didn't even realise the appreciative noises she was making until Faith knocked on the door, making both of them jump out of their hypnotized state.  
  
"Hey, no boinking remember!" She laughed before running back to her own bedroom.  
  
Buffy giggled into the pillows, and relaxed down again to allow Spike to continue. He leant down over her, crushing her into the bed.  
  
"Feeling more relaxed pet?" He whispered, before running his tongue down her neck and softly nibbling its base.  
  
"Mmmm a little, but I could do with a little more.relaxing."  
  
In one move he flipped her over to lie on her back, sitting up to observe her.  
  
"So beautiful," he murmured as he moved forward gently capturing her lips. He pulled away before she could deepen the kiss.  
  
Buffy reached up to grab him by the shirt but he caught her hands, pushing them back behind her on the bed. She wanted to touch him so badly, but he was evading her hands at every turn. Spike traced his fingers down her body, following the curve of her breasts, she gasped as he gently ran his fingertips over her sensitive nipples, arching towards him, begging him to increase his touch. He just shook his head before bowing down his head to capture it in his mouth, softly sucking and running his tongue over it. Buffy pushed herself up into his body, she could feel his arousal and she wanted him, now.  
  
He slid down the bed, undoing her jeans as he went, and pulling them down, until she lay below him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down until she was being crushed into the mattress. She was done with gentle, she wanted him now. Grasping his hair in one hand she pulled his head down, crashing their lips together, forcing her tongue into his mouth. He couldn't resist, he kissed her back, more passionately than he ever had before. She pulled at his shirt, desperate to touch his flesh, to feel his muscles rippling against her. They broke away briefly to catch a breath.  
  
"Buffy, I love you so much," he whispered before leaning back into her.  
  
They were interrupted by the sound of Molly crying in the other room.  
  
Spike lowered his head, kissing her on the cheek.  
  
"Sorry pet, I have to go to her, you understand??"  
  
She nodded, pulling him to her for one last kiss.  
  
It was ok, they had a lifetime of nights ahead of them, she could let him leave her for this one time. 


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30.  
  
Spike didn't return that night, she hadn't expected him to really, and to be honest she didn't really mind. She loved the way he was with his daughter, so protective, just as he was with her. She was his whole world, Buffy knew that, but she also knew that she came a close second, and at the end of the day that was good enough for her. She pulled the covers over herself and slipped into a dreamy sleep.  
  
She awoke to the sound of her name being called.  
  
"Buffy, Buffy," Molly bounced on the bed a few times, finally rousing the sleeping blonde.  
  
Buffy rubbed at her eyes, and rolled over, trying to work out exactly where she was.  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
She shot around, remembering she had slept in Dawns room.  
  
"Mmm Hi Molly," she slurred, "What's up?"  
  
Molly continued to bounce on the bed, which juggled Buffy's brain in her head.  
  
"Can I have some juice, Daddy won't wake up!" She asked. Buffy smiled, she knew what Spike was like, he could sleep through an earthquake literally. She pulled back the covers, thankful that she had gotten into her pyjamas after he had left her.  
  
"Sure thing Molly, come on, let's get you sorted out," she smiled, taking hold of the little girls hand and leading her into the kitchen.  
  
She could hear Spike's soft snoring coming from the bedroom and smiled, pulling the door closed so that he wouldn't be disturbed. There was no sign of movement from Faith's room either, and Molly was obviously up for the day, so after fixing her juice they went and sat in the living room.  
  
"You wanna watch some cartoons?" Buffy asked, turning the TV on and searching for a kiddie's channel. Molly bounced up and down on the sofa, so Buffy took this as a yes. 'Do all children bounce this much?' she wondered as they settled down to watch Pooh Bear and Tigger. She must have dozed off again, because she was awoken again by banging on the door. She stood up and shook her head, trying to remove the cotton wool feeling that had taken residence there. Molly was still next to her, transfixed by whatever it was she had found to watch. Buffy dragged her feet as she slowly wandered to the front door. 'What sort of person comes knocking here, at 8am on a Saturday' she moaned quietly.  
  
She pulled open the door, to be nearly knocked off her feet by Willow. "Hi Buffy! Did you miss us? I hear you and Spike are all loved up? What else did we miss? Come on give us the news!" Willow bombarded the sleepy blonde with questions, so fast she thought her brain was going to explode. She stared back with a dumbfounded look on her face.  
  
It was then Willow noticed the gash on her head. No one had even thought to tell them what had happened, it had sort of slipped their minds.  
  
"Buffy what happened to your head?" She asked as they entered the living room.  
  
"It's a long story Will, a very long story, but I'll tell you about it when my brain wakes up, promise."  
  
Willow looked on, concerned. It was then Molly chose to poke her head over the back of the couch.  
  
"Hello, I'm Molly, I like your hair, it's red!" She grinned, before returning to watching her cartoon.  
  
Faith had been woken by the banging on the door too, and sent Gunn to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. He entered the living room in just his boxers, coming face to face with Willow. He offered a quiet 'hello' before hurriedly making his way to the kitchen.  
  
Buffy could do nothing but laugh, she didn't think she had ever seen Willow look quite so confused, ever.  
  
"Willow, this is Molly, Spike's daughter.Molly this is my friend Willow, and her friend Tara." Buffy thought maybe the best way to start was with introductions. However Willow still stood like a goldfish, mouth open, with a dazed look on her face.  
  
"Spike has a daughter?" She asked.  
  
Buffy nodded, and as Gunn tried to sneak back through she decided it was his turn too.  
  
"Willow this is Gunn, Faith's Boyfriend, Gunn this is Willow and Tara." Gunn nodded and scurried back to Faith.  
  
"Faith has a boyfriend!!!"  
  
Buffy couldn't help but laugh, it was more unbelievable to Willow for Faith to have a boyfriend.  
  
"So Spike is."  
  
" In my bedroom," Buffy interrupted. Willow nodded her head, taking in the information.  
  
"And Dawn?"  
  
"Dawn is at her boyfriend's house having sex," Buffy continued.  
  
"Oh boy, I gotta sit down," Willow leant back on the couch.  
  
Only a week had passed, but so much had happened, and Buffy seemed to be taking it all in her stride. Willow was impressed, even if very confused.  
  
"Ok Buffy, did we just walk back into some weird alternate reality or something?" She laughed.  
  
"You know what Wills, that would explain a lot, it really would!"  
  
She let the girls settle in, before filling them in on the intricate details of the week's affairs. Needless to say both girls were shocked and upset by what they heard.  
  
"Is she ok, Molly I mean?" Tara asked.  
  
Buffy nodded, "She seems to be coping pretty well, it's hard to tell though, and the doctor said she may just be blocking it all out in her head."  
  
"Or maybe she didn't feel safe before, and now she does," Willow added.  
  
Buffy secretly hoped this was the case, she anticipated that the little girl was coping so well, because she was happier with her and Spike, but she knew that this probably wasn't the case. They had some difficult months ahead of them, she wasn't afraid to admit that.  
  
Spike finally roused from his deep sleep around midday. He wandered sluggishly into the living room in just his boxers and a t-shirt, stretching his arms above his head. Molly jumped up from the sofa and ran to hug him, he picked her up giving her a big squeeze.  
  
"Morning Daddy!" She squeaked.  
  
"Morning pumpkin," he replied, hugging her tight.  
  
Buffy coughed to attract his attention and his head flew up, to see Willow and Tara staring back.  
  
"Um, just gonna go get more.decent!" He smirked, before leaving the room, returning moments later fully dressed.  
  
He sat onto the couch and was immediately pounced on by his daughter.  
  
"Daddy, Buffy and Tara and.. red hair lady are gonna take me to see Santa!" She grinned.  
  
"Is that right," he smiled back, "well then you are a lucky girl aren't you!" He turned to Buffy.  
  
"Are you ok taking her yourself, I should probably get to work and close everything up, we kinda left everything unfinished didn't we."  
  
He was interrupted as Faith slipped into the room.  
  
"It's all sorted, after you guys were done at the hospital I went over. I picked up everyone's numbers and told them they didn't need to come in till after New Year. Security is all sorted, and I posted all the mail." She beamed at the two stunned workmates, before skipping to the kitchen to get a coffee.  
  
"Did she just skip?" Willow almost fell off the chair in hysterics. "Come on, where's Faith? What have you done with her?" She joked.  
  
Buffy leant back into Spike, "I guess that means you can come and see Santa after all then!"  
  
He scrunched his face up in a 'do I hafta' kind of way, and was about to speak when Molly butted in.  
  
"Uncle Gunn is coming, aren't you?" She said, staring at him. He shuffled on his feet.  
  
"Sure he is," Faith said, handing him a cup of coffee, "I need to see if he has been a good boy!" She pinched his ass before returning to her room to dress.  
  
"Yay!" Molly exclaimed, jumping around the room.  
  
"Well if I have to do this then you better call Nibblet and Xander and his bird, cos if I am doing Santa's grotto we all are!"  
  
Buffy made the calls and Spike made himself some breakfast. Willow and Tara retreated to their bedroom for a while to rest after their journey. Spike came back into the living room to find Faith braiding Molly's hair, and putting red and green tinsel in the ends.  
  
"Hey you make a wicked elf!" She laughed.  
  
He turned to Buffy. "She's been abducted by aliens hasn't she!"  
  
Molly jumped down off Faith's lap.  
  
"I'm ready, let's go!"  
  
He couldn't argue with that, nobody could. They collected their bags and headed out to the mall, each marvelling at how one little girl could make Christmas real. 


	31. Chapter 31

A/N.... Sorry for the delay in updating this, I have had serious PC problems, but all fixed now :o)  
  
Thanks again to Mercy for her excellent beta-ing.  
  
A big thank you to everyone that has reviewed this story.this chapter is for hispavox.I think you were right, they did need to have a little chat ;o)  
  
Chapter 31.  
  
The mall was crowded, as would be expected only a few days before Christmas. Buffy had managed to get hold of the rest of the gang, even Dawn, who actually appeared to be quite enthusiastic about the whole thing, surprising Buffy after the previous night's discovery. She had even brought her boyfriend Lindsay along for the trip. Buffy had to admit, he actually seemed like a decent sort of guy, well as decent as nineteen year old college students can be anyway. The group of youngsters squeezed their way through the crowds of last minute shoppers and excited children, their aim, to get to Santa's grotto.  
  
Spike and Buffy, each had hold of one of Molly's hands, to ensure she didn't get lost in amongst the people, and she seemed quite happy with this arrangement. Every now and then, she would swing herself forwards between them, almost pulling Buffy off her feet at one time. Spike decided to rescue her, by lifting the youngster onto his shoulders, and out of harms way. Faith and Gunn were dawdling some distance behind, he had his arm slung around her shoulder, and she had hers wrapped around his waist. Buffy looked back at the couple and smiled to herself. She had never seen her friend looking so content, definitely not where a guy was concerned.  
  
The queue to see Santa was enormous, not that they had expected anything different. They decided the best way forward, was for each couple to take turns standing with Molly in the queue, while the others did their last minute shopping, or in the case of Buffy and Spike their first minutes! He hadn't been expecting to see his daughter, so wasn't at all prepared for the festivities that fast approached.  
  
Willow and Tara took the first shift.  
  
"Can you make my hair go red?" Molly asked as she tugged at Willow's hair, an intrigued look on her face.  
  
Willow giggled, the little girl seemed to have quite a fascination with her hair. She wasn't quite sure why, but thought it was probably something to do with the fact that Spike always made reference to it.  
  
The redhead pulled Molly's woolly hat down over her ears, and gave her a big grin. "I don't think your dad will be too happy if I turn you into another 'red!'" She laughed. "Besides your hair is all nice and curly, I was thinking of doing mine like that for Christmas day. What do you think?"  
  
Molly clapped her hands in agreement, before running towards the couple approaching.  
  
"Whoa, hey Molly!" Faith giggled as the little one slid into her leg, banging her head. She jumped up and down on the spot singing a little song she had apparently made up on the spot.  
  
Tara looked to Willow a little concerned. "You think maybe we gave her a bit too much sugar?" They both took the opportunity to escape, leaving the hyperactive child behind.  
  
The events of the recent days didn't seem to be affecting Molly too much at the moment, she was too absorbed in the Christmas fun. Everyone was sure that eventually it would all sink in, but in the mean time, they were doing everything they could to keep her occupied, and her mind on happier things. This went part way to explaining why Faith was now sporting her very fetching furry antlers again, and Gunn was wearing a Santa Claus hat. They looked quite a sight, but it was worth it to keep Molly smiling.  
  
It wasn't too long before they had reached the front of the queue. Faith was taking a sip of her soda when a young woman just behind her in the queue leant over.  
  
"You have a beautiful daughter," she began, "so full of life and energy."  
  
Faith began to choke instantly, and Gunn had to bang her on the back roughly. The choking soon gave way to giggles though when Molly spoke up.  
  
"She's not my mummy, she's my auntie Fayf!" She giggled as she dragged the brunette through the doorway and into Santa's grotto.  
  
......  
  
Buffy sat on the bench, waiting for Spike to finish his shopping. He insisted on doing the last bits himself, so she would have at least one surprise for Christmas day. She sat and watched the people pass by, thinking to herself that she'd had quite enough surprises recently to last her a life time.  
  
Things had happened so quickly, she felt her head was going to spin right off, she rested it in her hands for a second, before shaking it gently in an effort to remove the fuzziness. Nothing changed though. Everywhere she looked she was surrounded by couples, families out for a day together. Happy, smiling people. This is what she wanted, what she needed, and she knew she could have it all. She sighed deeply, this could be hers, so why did she still have a knot in her stomach? Why did she feel so terrified, sat on this bench alone in the busy mall?  
  
She knew why.  
  
She was scared he wouldn't come back.  
  
She knew he was going to, but she also knew that this fear might not go away. Every time he went out and came home a little late after getting stuck in traffic, every time he got held up at work and she was at home waiting..  
  
It was always going to be there.  
  
Spike snuck up on her from behind, laden down with bags. He tapped her on the shoulder making her jump. One look at her face told him something wasn't quite right. She wasn't crying, but she looked as if it would take one word to cause her to burst into tears. Her eyes were glassy, and her lips trembled as she turned to him, before lowering her head.  
  
"Buffy, what's wrong love?" He said gently, as he placed the bags down and sat beside her on the bench. She chewed at her bottom lip, unsure of where to start, or if she could even start at all. She continued to stare at the floor, desperately wishing for this feeling to pass, and for everything to be right again.  
  
Spike placed his hand under her chin, slowly lifting her head so he could look into her eyes. She looked so scared, so vulnerable. He leant in placing a kiss on her forehead, causing a solitary tear to fall down her cheek.  
  
"Buffy, please, tell me," he whispered, wiping the moisture from her cheek. "Tell me what's wrong?"  
  
"You mean apart from having my childhood sweetheart come back into my life. Finding out that not only did he cheat on me! But he has a child, and nearly getting shot?"  
  
Spike shifted uncomfortably in his seat, cursing himself for asking such a stupid question. He was about to apologise when Buffy interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"It's none of that...not really," she mumbled, before leaning her head on his chest and allowing him to wrap his hands around her. They sat in silence for several minutes, both watching the hustle and bustle of the families around them. Finally she began to speak again.  
  
"I'm scared Spike," she began, "I'm scared that I will never feel completely secure, not in the way I need to. I'm scared you might leave me again, and I just..I just couldn't cope with that, I couldn't lose you again, not now." She began to sob into his chest, quietly, she hardly made a sound, but he could feel her body gently shaking. Spike pulled her closer to him, holding her tightly.  
  
"I'll never leave, never, you have to believe me," he whispered as he rocked her gently. "All I wanted was to be with you, even then. I never left you for Dru, I had to leave for Molly, and she is here. We can all be together."  
  
He raised her head again, so she could see his eyes. "I. Will. Never. Leave. You!" He punctuated each word with a kiss. "I promise!"  
  
He saw a smile pass across her lips and that was enough, he pulled her towards him capturing her lips in a brief kiss, and they sat together a little longer watching the world go by.  
  
Meanwhile the rest of the gang had gathered and were searching the mall for the missing couple. Molly was the first to notice them huddled together on the bench.  
  
"Daddy! Daddy! Look I am a tiger, ROOOOAR!" She shrieked, as she ran towards them. Both sat up a little startled and began to laugh at the sight before them. Faith strolled along behind, a wicked smirk on her face.  
  
"Look Daddy, we all got our faces painted.ROOOOAR! I got to choose what animal everyone is!"  
  
Buffy wiped the tears that were falling down her face, tears of laughter.  
  
"So Faith, how come you didn't get painted?" She asked, still giggling at the sight before her.  
  
Molly interrupted, "There's a rule that the person in charge of looking after me isn't allowed to have her face painted, so people know she is a grown up!" She stated forcefully.  
  
Gunn swung around to face his girlfriend who was falling about laughing.  
  
"That's how you got out of it...A rule!!!"  
  
Faith shrugged her shoulders, "Hey, what can I say...I'm a grown up, isn't that right Molly!" She pulled him towards her and plastered a kiss on his lips, "I think you look kinda cute anyway honey, maybe I can show you just how 'grown up' I am when we get back!"  
  
Gunn snorted, but inwardly smiled at the fact that she was going to have to make it up to him big time.  
  
Xander appeared from behind the pillar he had been hiding behind.  
  
"What I don't get is why all the girls get to be the cool animals, and me and Gunn are mice...I mean I was thinking, maybe something more manly..a lion perhaps!"  
  
"SQUEEEEEK!" Molly screeched, before running back over to Faith and jumping up for a piggyback.  
  
Faith started to bounce towards the exit, turning briefly to poke her tongue out at the mice in front of her.  
  
"What can I say boys...I guess she says it like she sees it!" 


	32. Chapter 32 NEW!

A/N Sorry for the huge delay in updates.I have been out of the country for ages, but rest assured, normality is again resumed.  
  
Thanks to Mercy, as always.a great beta, and a better friend.  
  
Chapter 32.  
  
Buffy awoke to the sound of shuffling, she held her breath and tried her hardest not to move, as she attempted to pinpoint the sound. As she slipped back into the world of the awake realization dawned. These were the shuffling sounds of a small person, a small Molly sized person to be precise. Buffy stretched out in Dawn's bed and rolled over to face the direction of the tiny intruder. She opened her eyes to find the young girl's face no more than 2 inches from hers.  
  
"Daddy snores!" She exclaimed in a very matter of fact manner, before clambering over Buffy's sleepy body and sneaking under the covers.  
  
Buffy pulled the duvet back up and let her eyes close, drawing her into a peaceful slumber again. Somehow the tiny form of the five-year-old girl, seemed to be capable of taking up almost all of the bed. She was glad Dawn had stayed with Lindsay again, or else she figured she would be on the floor by now. Eventually she drifted back to sleep.  
  
"Buffy!" She was roused again by her name being whispered, increasingly louder.  
  
"Mmm," Buffy mumbled back.  
  
"Are you awake?"  
  
She rolled over to face her late night guest, to be faced by a big beaming smile.  
  
"What do you want to be when you are a grown up?" Molly quizzed.  
  
Resisting the temptation to say 'asleep', she said the first thing that came to mind.  
  
"A mommy," she whispered back, this seemed to satisfy her curiosity.  
  
"Night Molly." She murmured as sleep took grip again.  
  
"Buffy!" Molly whispered, while gently prodding the 'now pretending to be asleep' blonde girl beside her.  
  
"Are you awake?"  
  
Buffy had to smile to herself.  
  
"Yes Molly!"  
  
"I want to be a cyclist," the girl continued, with a determined look on her face.  
  
This grabbed Buffy's attention, she would have expected her to say a princess, a fairy or something like that.  
  
"Really? That's unusual. Can you ride a bicycle then?" She asked the excitable child. Molly stared back at her, a very confused expression written on her face.  
  
"Duhhh!" She said as she slapped Buffy on the forehead, "Why would I need to do that to be a cyclist, you're silly Buffy!" She giggled.  
  
"Erm Ok, guess I am, night then," she said before drawing the duvet up to her ears, secretly hoping the conversation was over.  
  
"Daddy said if Mummy had a better cyclist, then she wouldn't have been sick." She continued.  
  
It all fell into place, and Buffy couldn't help but suppress a giggle.  
  
"You mean psychiatrist Molly, not cyclist," she smiled as she gave the little one a squeeze. "And that's a very worthwhile job."  
  
Before long sleep had caught hold of her again. It had been an extremely stressful last few weeks, and she was verging on exhaustion. Smiling gently in her sleep, she was suddenly aware of a distant noise.  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
Sharp little fingers jabbed her in the ribs.  
  
"Mmmm"  
  
"Are you awake?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Can I have a hamster?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Are you awake?" Buffy paused before answering.  
  
"No!"  
  
"Oh, okay then, night!"  
  
And with that the bedroom intruder finally closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Buffy smiled to herself, this motherhood stuff wasn't so hard after all, she just had to learn the little tricks.  
  
She was deep in sleep, engrossed in one of those dreams you have when you are so tired nothing seems real anyway. There were elves definitely, a handsome hero, and..well the Double Meat Palace actually, but you can't control your dreams can you. She struggled to remember the details, to get back to her dream, but she was being pulled out of it again.  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
"Yes you can have a hamster!" She blurted out, as she stared bleary eyed at her awakener.  
  
Spike raised an eyebrow, before placing a kiss on her cheek. "Thanks love, but I'd rather have a shag!" He grinned before pulling her into a tight embrace. "Actually I wanted to see if you were gonna get up for lunch, Molly is helping Faith in the kitchen."  
  
Buffy shook her head to try and shift the sleepiness that lay there. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was already almost two in the afternoon. She had slept through half the day. She snuggled her head into Spike chest and breathed in his scent, he had that freshly showered, clean smell about him, and she loved it. He ran his hands gently through her hair, before pulling her head up to his. He held her for a few moments, just taking in the sight of her, before he drew her towards him, softly brushing his lips across hers.  
  
"Morning sexy!" She whispered as she ran her hands up over his chest, "mmm this is my kind of wake up call!"  
  
They were disturbed by a series of loud crashes coming from the direction of the kitchen, followed by a stream of expletives bad enough to turn the air blue. Spike head flew up as Molly came crashing into the room.  
  
"Daddy, Daddy! Auntie Faith killed the macaroni, and she said the 'F word'!"  
  
She was followed by a very apologetic Faith, covered in what could only be described as 'ex' macaroni cheese, the remnants of which were hanging from her hair.  
  
"Hey guys, erm, so B you fancy pizza?" She began rather sheepishly. Buffy stifled a laugh.  
  
"How's the cooking going Faith?" Spike asked, eyebrows raised. "How exactly do you kill macaroni?" He loved to tease her and watch her squirm.  
  
Faith shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, and shot a quick glare in Molly's direction. Molly simply grinned back before skipping out of the room.  
  
"Yeah, funny thing about that." She began waiting for the little girl to exit the room. "She did it!" She continued, "It was all going super cool, I mean we were totally cooking, know what I mean, and I kinda got distracted, and then.macaroni go boom!"  
  
Spike fell back onto the bed laughing his head off.  
  
"Hey it's not funny! She said I would be a good mommy, like her other friends mommy's, I mean that macaroni just had to die!"  
  
Buffy leant over and plucked a stray piece of macaroni from her friend's hair.  
  
"Not getting clucky are we Faith?" She teased.  
  
Faith jumped up, "So pizza all round then, cool, I'll just go phone through!" 


End file.
